Welcome, Guest
Getting out of Isolation and connecting with others is an important part of recovery. This board is for non-addiction related threads, where members exchange jokes, have fun - and drink Lechayim Together!
Reply Topic
New Topic
  • Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: Siri & co. 743 Views

Siri & co. 26 Mar 2020 14:50 #348093

  • tzitzis dude
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 476
  • Karma: 25
This thread is gonna be for all the groaners we’ve gotten from Siri (and Alexa, and others). Here goes 

I asked my new friend to meet me at the gym, but he never showed up. 
I guess the two of us aren’t going to work out.
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Siri & co. 19 Aug 2020 20:26 #354004

  • tzitzis dude
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 476
  • Karma: 25
Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments?

Mount Rushmore.
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Siri & co. 19 Aug 2020 20:27 #354005

  • tzitzis dude
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 476
  • Karma: 25
To the two criminals who stole my calendar:

I hope you both get six months.
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Siri & co. 19 Aug 2020 20:28 #354006

  • tzitzis dude
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 476
  • Karma: 25
My printer just told me that it was joining a band. 
Which makes sense. 
It loves to jam.
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Siri & co. 19 Aug 2020 20:29 #354007

  • tzitzis dude
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 476
  • Karma: 25
Why did the belt go to jail?
It held up a pair of pants.
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Siri & co. 20 Aug 2020 01:23 #354020

  • Meyer M.
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 257
  • Karma: 16
I'm going to look for the laffy taffy box now....
Your best teacher for success is your last mistake

Re: Siri & co. 21 Aug 2020 00:24 #354054

  • Happy58
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 1
  • Karma: 1
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Apparently 7 is some kind of number cannibal.

Re: Siri & co. 21 Aug 2020 08:24 #354066

  • tzitzis dude
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 476
  • Karma: 25
Happy58 wrote on 21 Aug 2020 00:24:
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Apparently 7 is some kind of number cannibal.

LOVE IT!!!!
On a similar note, why is Yoda afraid of Seven?
Because Six Seven Eight.
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Siri & co. 25 Oct 2020 13:51 #356657

  • tzitzis dude
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 476
  • Karma: 25
If your band ever goes on tour, make sure you bring along a Latvian sound engineer. 
And a Czech one, too. 
And a Czech one, too. 
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Siri & co. 25 Oct 2020 13:52 #356658

  • tzitzis dude
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 476
  • Karma: 25
Never trust an atom. They make up everything. 
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.

Re: Siri & co. 25 Oct 2020 13:52 #356659

  • tzitzis dude
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 476
  • Karma: 25
A bad limbo player walks into a bar. 
“Verbing weirds language”
-Calvin. 
“Getting an inch of snow is like winning ten cents in the lottery”
-also Calvin.
“The most important thing is sincerity. Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.”
-Groucho Marks.
“Pornography is a bad answer to a good question”
-R’ Daniel Kalish
“True bitachon means accepting all inconveniences; not just the convenient inconveniences.”
-Rabbi Dovid Kaplan.
Reply Topic
New Topic
  • Page:
  • 1
GYE
Forum for Jewish Men
Just Having Fun
Moderators: yechidah, skeptical, the.guard, kedusha, Dov, cordnoy, menachemgye, smartlakewood
Powered by Kunena
Time to create page: 0.50 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes