Rabbi PA, are you taking new clients?
Someone was looking for a LOR





peloni almoni wrote on 03 Nov 2015 02:55:

cordnoy wrote on 16 Sep 2013 22:34:

Cord, I bolded your bold statement - couldn't resist

Becoming a yoga teacher offers a unique teaching position.

Insert

!IF WE CAN'T LEARN HEILIGE TORAH ON THE SUBWAY, WE CAN STILL DANCE!
[where's the dancing emoji??]

Here's a related story

A false accusation was leveled against Reb Meilech of Lizhensk and his equally famous brother, Reb Zushe of Anipoli,and they were promptly arrested, They found themselves in a dark filthy prison cell, together with common criminals. Came time to daven and Reb Zusha noticed his brother weeping. “Why are you upset?” asked Reb Zusha. Reb Meilech pointed to the bucket of waste in the middle of the room, which served as a toilet. 

“It's assur to daven next to that pail and its repulsive odor. Never have I missed any tefillah in my entire life...not now...".

" That's no reason to be upset", insisted Reb Zusha. “The same G-d who commanded us to daven each morning also commanded us to abstain from davening under such circumstances. In a situation like this, we fulfil His will by not davening!” 

Reb Zusha’s words raised the spirits of Reb Elimelech. Together they started dancing, celebrating the opportunity to enjoy an intimate, albeit different, relationship with G-d. Round the pail they danced away and gradually all the inmates got carried away and were swept away too in ecstatic dancing together with the tzaddikim. 

The prison warden heard the commotion and furiously demanded  “Why are you all so happy?” The prisoners simply pointed to the bucket in the center of the cell. “The two Jews are happy about the pail.” “I will teach them a lesson,” shouted the angry warden as he took the pail and threw it out of the cell. 

The two brothers turned to each other, “now, we can start davening...!” 

KOD!

WWhile Elul is a great time  for teshuva, if you get too depressed  you run the risk of being oiver
 אל תפנו אל האלילים

Today at the Israeli S.A. summer conference we sang "ESsa EInai" (or S.sa A.nay)

A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop.

tzitzis dude wrote on 06 Nov 2018 20:34:

Ok, I give up. Am I the only one who doesn't get it? :-)

stillgoing wrote on 07 Nov 2018 02:14:

Yeah dude

Markz wrote on 07 Nov 2018 04:35:

After delving into the deep and hidden sources, for 71 hours with neither food, nor drink nor sleep, I wil share with you my findings on the deep hidden mystical meanings of the above statement.

The skeleton represents our inner core, what is left in us after all of the outer layers are peeled away. "Walking into a bar" is a well known phrase in the esoteric sources as referring to a 'yerida' - a fall. When our skeleton walks into a bar it means that deep down in our inner core we had a fall.
Filled with disgust and a sense of wrongful longing (and more disgust for that longing), we ask for a mop and a beer. The mop is representing teshuva - cleaning up our mess. but when we ask for the beer together with the mop, we are showing that our teshuva is not sincere. We still want our forbidden fruit - as represented by the beer. So long as we are asking for the beer together with the mop, we are fooling ourselves in thinking that our 'teshuva' is any more effective then mopping the floor with beer.

Thanks dude. Truly an amazing post you wrote.  :-)

You heard about the Roman cannibal who ate his wife?
He was

stillgoing wrote on 08 Nov 2018 17:04:

quite literally laughing out loud here. AWESOME!!

thank you tzitzis dude for bumping!. and, yes, your joke was dope too. 

What did the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells 

What do you call a poetic General that stops a story right in the middle?

A serial killer