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TOPIC: STORY TIME 32563 Views

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 03:00 #311364

Workingguy OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1150 Karma: 139	Trouble, I never, ever know when you're serious. And maybe you had no choice and couldn't help it and it was beyond your free will-or maybe you could have not shmoozed with the woman or called and reached out to someone or diestracted or something. But if what you're writing is that you went to a side room and had relations that sounds pretty troubling.

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 13:15 #311404

trouble
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My second attempt.

Thanks for all the rifraf and bantering back and forth. Interesting that this thread is void of the "hey trouble, good going, your streak is inspiring to all, brush yourself off, you can do it," but whatever, it's fine by me.

Firstly, I chose this thread for my last story installment, for I value humor and interest over truth and accuracy.

Secondly, כשמו כן הוא, I like to push the envelope (whatever the Hell that means). I like to put into print what you/me/others are thinking (well, maybe not all of us). I try to test the logic of some of our greatest thinkers and posters on this site and see if they hold up even when taken to the extreme. I mean and intend no harm. I don't know what I think or believe (unless I say so, of course).

Here are some of the mantras and one-liners that we are accustomed to here on this anonymous-name-quasi-rules-mostly orthodox (any religion)-12 steps flag waving/card carrying website: one day at a time; pick yourself up; Torah will save you; remove your glasses; thinking about your wife is lusting, no it's not, yes it is - it's the yetzer hara in all his glory; it's all barsherte/there was nothing you could have done; it's all one big test; it's not my fault (one of my favorites); this happening was a direct sign from Above; dreams are narishkeit, no, they're not, fantasies are, etc.

So, let's get back to our story and address some of the choshuve esteemed comments: doing the deed with a business associate is a terrible and grave sin and should not be joked about. Ok, we got that out of the way. Yes, we care if it happened and we must repent to the fullest (and you even merit to say the parenthesis in tefillas zakah - I always thought like rabbi Akiva, מתי יבוא לידי ואקיימנה?). But, regarding sobriety: ultimately, what difference does it make if you spent two hours on your computer in your office closet watching p*** and m********** (did I do that right?) and spilled seed (can't believe I wrote that), or it was spilled right before dessert? The count (הלכה למשה מסיני) must be reset. The bottom line is that for today, my job and focus is set. Will I need to read more pages from the giant book because the sin was more severe? (And I forgot to mention רחמנא ליצלן חס ושלום.) Do I now need to work 18 steps? I still need to do the same thing. I must guard my eyes. I must work a recovery program. I must open to another sober, more experienced person. And I must ask and answer the questions in the daily renewal.

So, while I didn't quote and respond directly to all the heiliger posters above, I think I touched upon all the points.

Please forgive my attitude and tone. I am infatuated with lust. It engulfs me. No matter what I do, I'm no good without lust, And I can't get enough, Must be lust on my brain.

i'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....

if you're looking for trouble, you can email me @trouble69gye@outlook.com

Last Edit: 25 Apr 2017 13:16 by trouble.

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 14:59 #311441

Workingguy
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Trouble,

You're a gaon. Or a goon, not sure which.

Brilliant troublemaking that you did, and you pointed out that you didn't receive the same positive platitudes that everybody says and encourages everyone else.

So a word of honesty. Before I responded to your post, I thought about being positive and upbeat. And I decided that it made no sense to me. And that is because what you wrote is not completely true – it is not the same to sit in front of a computer and masturbate to pornography as it is to have sex with someone. Everyone is free to argue with me, but don't bother.

Maybe in recovery it's all the same, but it's really not from a Jewish perspective. Also, I think the audience on the forums is pretty astute as to how the selectively say what they do to each specific person. So a guy who many people might believe really believes everything else is someone else's fault probably won't get sympathetic and upbeat. Because people really know that this guys issue is that he has to realize that it's his fault. Only when he takes full responsibility could he then say it's not his fault. If you understand that last line

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 15:09 #311445

trouble OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 874 Karma: 224	Gaon or goon; I take them both as complIments (the letter before the 'm' is a capital 'I') and I thank you. Regarding your post, I agree, and that's fine. It doesn't bother me at all. I am what I am. I care more about the toichen of the post. Regarding the Jewish perspective, I believe I wrote the same thing in my last post. My focus was/is on recovery.
	i'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble .... if you're looking for trouble, you can email me @trouble69gye@outlook.com

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 16:30 #311451

eslaasos
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Just addressing one point.
I find that the attitude towards the challenge of lust is of prime importance. There are times when I have given up temporarily (for a decade or so, for a minute or so, who's to say, depends on the level) and that acceptance scares the hell out of me (hopefully).
I/We struggle with motivation at times. Saying I don't care that I fell may be sometimes true (really? I have no idea) but it's not something I like to see on the forum.
If it helps you to be honest, go for it but please decide if if your purpose is primarily to have a funny post and secondarily to grope your way through the challenge of lust that is the purpose of this site, or the reverse before posting something others may find harmful.

Quotes that speak to me
What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy)
My Thread My Other Thread

Last Edit: 25 Apr 2017 16:32 by eslaasos.

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 17:35 #311470

stillgoing
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Trouble,
I know you can read (since you read the sefer hagodel), so you know that the title of this thread is STORY TIME. It is primarily for fictional stories that can help us in our struggle. You knew this and still decided to post your story here. Therefor I'm going to assume that it is fiction, never happened, and was only posted to give a picture of what one would feel like if he actually went ahead with it.
This entire site is (mostly) dedicated to honestly working on our true experiences, therefor if you are not clear that this never happened then people are going to (rightly) assume that it is true. Similar to the author who goes into disguise to really 'feel' their 'bad guy' character. People are going to get upset at this author/character. He may get beat up, as he should since he is portraying to the world a flawed view.

If this was your actual experience however, then 1, I don't know why it's posted on a fictional story thread and 2, you would need to actually answer those who responded instead of (in essence) saying 'just kidding'

P.s. If your streak of three minutes or years is real - keep it up.

BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

613stillgoing@gmail.com

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 18:35 #311475

trouble
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eslaasos wrote on 25 Apr 2017 16:30:

I'm sorry but I'm not following. Firstly, I explained what it is I care about and what it is I don't. Secondly, why would my attitude affect you? If there is something I am doing that is harmful for others, I will cease and desist.

i'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....

if you're looking for trouble, you can email me @trouble69gye@outlook.com

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 18:51 #311479

trouble
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stillgoing wrote on 25 Apr 2017 17:35:

Working backwards, I never said, "just kidding."

Why would someone get upset? I actually wrote twice at least that I put this in this thread as it didn't need to be true. Nobody ever asked me (i don't think), "did you do the deed?" If they would have asked, I would have responded in the negative.

Don't worry about me getting beat up; my user name is anonymous, and I'm ok.

What's with the flawed view? I presented a scenario and explained why one could feel that way. If you disagree, that's fine. I can be wrong on many things.

The discussion on my threads and posts have been very productive and interesting.

i'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....

if you're looking for trouble, you can email me @trouble69gye@outlook.com

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 18:54 #311481

trouble OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 874 Karma: 224	However, since there are elder statesmen here that seem to be saying that I am in the wrong and causing harm, I will lay low. Don't worry please; I'll be ok. Thanks
	i'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble .... if you're looking for trouble, you can email me @trouble69gye@outlook.com

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 18:55 #311482

stillgoing
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bardichev wrote on 15 Oct 2009 18:45:

PART 1

HI MY NAME IS YANKI.

I AM IN THE EIGHT GRADE OF TALMUD TORAH CHUCHMAH-UMUSSAR

I LOVE SCHOOL AND I HAVE A DECENT REBBI

HERE IS THE ISSUE.

MY TATTY IS REALLY INTERSTING

HE IS VERY BUSY WITH HIS NEW BLACKBERRY HE HAS A REAL COOL LAPTOP( I KNOW THE PASSWORD SHHH) HE NEVER LETS ME WATCH ANY VIDEOS BUT.. I THINK HE DOES IN THE SUMMER WHEN IM IN CAMP WHATEVER..

ON SHABBOS, HE DAVENS WITH A BRENN BUT SOMETIMES I AM NOT SURE WHAT HE WANTS FROM ME.

NOW HERE IS THE REAL FUNNY THING MOMMY IS THE BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD
LOVES ME TO PIECES BUT.. BUT.. SHE AND TATTY ARE MAMESH AH PEERIM SHPEEL

I HAVE TO TELL YOU A SECRET I AM EMBARRASSED TO WALK WITH THEM ON THE STREET

SEE TATTY LOOKS ALL HOLY BIG BEKESHE AND NICE BEARD MOMMY GETS ALL THE STARES OMG!!
SHE DRESSES A LITTLE FUNNY WHATEVER BUT SHE REALLY IS SO FRUM AND EHRLICH SHE REALLY IS

TATTY TELLS ME ALL DAY KEDUSHA SHMEDUSHA KISHKA HEY I TUNE HIM OUT.
HE SCREAMS DON’T TOUCH MY BLACK BERRY !!
MOMMY JUST SHUTS UP AND ROLLS HER EYES

LATER HE LEAVES TO SHUL (SO HE SAYS)
MOMMY SAYS TATTY HAD A HARD DAY

I THINK SHE CRIES A LOT (ITS JUST AN ASSUMPTION)

CAN SOME ONE HELP ME I HAVE SO MANY MIXED MESSAGES

I CAN'T WAIT TO BE BIG AND I WILL DO WHATEVER I WANT

YANKI

(MY TATTY STILL CALLS ME YANKELE, MOMMY SAYS HEY YANK SHE IS TOO COOL)

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 18:57 #311483

stillgoing
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bardichev wrote on 15 Oct 2009 20:24:

PART 2

HI IT'S YANKY AGAIN

I CAME HOME EARLY FROM ENGLISH MOMMY SAID IF I WATCH OUR BABY

SHE WILL LET ME USE HER COMPUTER (PINK VIAO TATTY GOT IT FROM POINTS WHATEVER THAT MEANS)

I REALLY THINK ALL YOU BIG GUYS SOUND A SHTIKKLE LIKE MY TATTY

ITS MORE OF THE DO LIKE I SAY NOT LIKE I DO

YOU SEE MOMMY SHE IS SUPER DUPER EVERYTHING "SHTIMMS"

SHE DOESENT "FUDDER" TOO MUCH AND JUST WANTS ME TO BE HAPPY

TATTY IS ALWAYS EXPLAINING DIFFICULT EXPLANATIONS OF THINGS I KNOW INSIDE OUT

OK I GOT MAKE THIS QUICK

I FEEL THAT THE THINGS TATTY TELLS ME HE DOESN'T REALLY BELEIVE

AND THAT MOMMY LOOKS MUCH DIFFERRENT THAN SHE REALLY REALLY IS

THE WORLD SEES THE WRONG PICTURE

NOW IF I EVER TOLD THIS TO TATTY HE WOULD GET

MAD MAD MAD

IF I WOULD TELL IT TO MOMMY SHE WOULD LAUGH BUT I KNOW IT THE KIND OF LAUGH YOU LAUGH WHEN YOU REALLY WANT TO CRY

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 18:59 #311484

stillgoing
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bardichev wrote on 16 Oct 2009 14:52:

PART 3

HI ITS YANKY AGAIN

I AM PLAYING SICK MOMMY SAID I CAN STAY HOME TODAY (ITS 'ONLY' FRIDAY)

LAST NIGHT WAS NOT ALOT OF FUN IN MY HOUSE

TATTY CAME HOM IN A REAL BAD MOOD

I KNEW TO "MAKE BELIEVE" I WASN'T LISTENING TO HIS LOUD CONVERSATION WITH MOMMY

TATTY: WHY DID YOU LET YANKY USE THE LAPTOP

MOMMY: I WENT TO THE GYM AND I NEEDED HIM TO BABY SIT

TATTY: (READING HIS BLACKBERRY AND TALKING AND EATING ARBISS FROM THE GOLDEN TASTE BOX) GYM? GYM? THURSDAY NITE NOTHING BETTER TO DO

MOMMY: (SHE IS SOO SWEET) I WOULD HAVE STAYED HOME ,I WOULD LOVE TO REMIND YOU WHO SAID I NEED TO GO 3 TIMES AWEEK OR ELSE...

TATTY: YAEH . BUT I DIDNT SAY THURDAY

TATTY: ( BLACKBERRY BACK IN POCKET) WHY WAS HE HOME?

MOMMY: I THINK HE DOESNT LIKE HIS REBBI.. WE SPOKE ABOUT IT BEFOREE YOM TOV ..YOU SAID.. WHATEVER.. I DONT WANT TO UPSET YOU NOW... YOU WANT SUPPER...

TATTY: REBBI REBBI REBBI WHY CANT YANKELEH JUST BE NORMAL

MOMMY: HE "IS" NORMAL

TATTY: WHY IS HE ALWAYS TRYING TO USE THE COMPUTER??

MOMMY: (OY IS SHE THE BEST LAWYER) HESHY,(HIS YIDDISH NAME ) LOOK WHO IS TALKING

TATTY: I"M NOT A BOY I AM A WORKING PERSON I "NEED" TO BE IN TOUCH

MOMMY: BUT WHO WILL TEACH HIM??

TATTY: OF COUSRE ME ! I WILL CALL HIM INTO MY SFOORIM SHTEEB AND LOOK HIM IN THE EYES AND WARN HIM IF I "CHAPP" HIM ON THE COMPUTER AGAIN I FEEL BAD FOR HIM

MOMMY: I SAID "TEACH"

TATTY: I SAID ME

MOMMY LOOKS LIKE SHE "NEEDS" TO CRY SO SHE LAUGHS

TATTY GETS APHONE CALL STANDS UP TELS MOMMY DONT WORRY I LKNOW HOW TO SPEAK TO HIM I AM VERY KEEN IN WHAT THE MATZAV IS ALL ABOUT I WILL TALK TO HIM ON SHABBBOS IA M A GOOD FATHER YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL SILLY I DONT KNOW WHY ITS MY FAULT OK

OK I GOTTA GO

YANKELEH ICH GEI TZEE MAARIV DONT TOUCH THE LAPTOP BYE!!

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 19:01 #311485

stillgoing
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bardichev wrote on 18 Oct 2009 19:38:

PART 4

OK ALL OF YOU BIG PEOPLE

I HAVE TO CONTINUE MY STORY

SHABBOS IN MY HOUSE IS USUALLY A BIG SHOW

SOMETIMES COMEDY SOMETIMES DRAMA SOMETIMES HORROR

BUT ALWAYS ENTERTAINING

(THERE IS A POINT TO ALL THIS YOU WILL SOON SEE)

MOMMY IS ALWAYS READY FOR SHABBOS ON TIME

SHE GETS DRESSED FOR SHABBOS OMG!PLUS

I CAN’T WAIT FOR SHABBOS JUST TOO SE WHAT COSTUME SHE CAN CONCOCT

NOW THERE IS A FAMILIAR "SHPEEL" IN MY HOUSE

MY MOTHER IS TOTALLY PREDICTABLE, I CAN GUESS EXACTLY WHAT SHE IS DOING

LIKE IF SHE WILL GO OUT TO VISIT MY BABBY SHE WILL WEAR THIS OLD ROBE

IF SHE IS SATYING HOME ITS REALLY NICE ROBE

IF SHE IS GOING TO A SIMCHA LIKE TO EAT IN A HALL IT’S HORRIBLE

SHE DRESSES LIKE I DON’T EVEN HAVE THE RIGHT WORDS MAYBE CAUSE I LOVE HER TOO MUCH

SO HERE IS MY TAKE ON IT (IT’S A GUESS HEY I’M ONLY 12)

TATTY LOVES (COULD BE DEMANDS BUT THAT’S NOT MY BUSINESS) THAT MOMMY DRESSES WAY TOO COOL. I KNOW IT BECAUSE I ALWAYS WATCH TO SEE IF HE APPROVES.

HE DOESN’T SAY WORDS JUST LIKE SHAKES HIS HEAD (OR GRUNTS REALLY FUNNY, NOT) SHE RUSHES OFF TO HER ROOM AND WALLA!! NEW COSTUME!!

DON’T GET ME WRONG SHE LOVES CLOTHES SHE GOES SHOPPING ALL DAY SHE HAS TONS OF MAGAZINES ABOUT FASHION

TATTY CAUGHT ME READING THEM BOY DID I GET IT. OUCH IT STILL HURTS. SO I KEEP CLEAR OF HER READING MATERIAL.

ANY HOW I DON’T LOOK DOWN UPON HER HOW SHE DRESSES BECAUSE I KNOW SHE IS THE BEST BEST BEST IN THE WORLD

OKAY SO WHAT HAPPENED THIS SHABBOS?

I CAUSED TROUBLE ,I BROKE A FEW RULES ,I WAS CAUGHT USING MOMMYS LAPTOP(SHE LET ME BUT SHE DIDN’T WANT TO TELL TATTY SO I TOOK THE HEAT ,ME AND MOMMY HAVE THIS DEAL YUP SHE IS COOL). I WAS ALSO CAUGHT WITH A BOOK I TOOK OUT OF THE LIBRARY (REBBI DOES NOT LET) BUT WHAT BROKE THE CAMELS BACK WAS MY COMMENTS..

I USUALLY KEEP MY THOUGHTS TO MYSELF BUT I DECIDED TO TEST THE WATERS AND BE A BIT “CHUTZPADIK”

HERE GOES BLOW FOR BLOW

TATTY: YANKELEH

ME: IGNORING

TATTY: YAN-KEH-LEH

ME: TAH ? WHERE YOU CALLING ME

TATTY: WHEN I SAY YOUR NAME I MEAN I AM TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION

(ME: I THINK I AM IN TROUBLE)

TATTY: “TATTY NEEDS TO TALK TO YOU” (WHEN HE GOES 3RD PERSON I AM DONE DONE DONE)

ME: TALK ABOUT WHAT?

TATTY: DON’T BE FRESH

ME: (FAKE CRYING) WHAT DID I SAY?

TATTY: NOW YOU ARE COVERING UP AH AHA

ME: TATTY I WOULD LOVE TO TALK TO YOU BUT…

TATTY: BUT WHAT?

ME: YOU GET SOO MAD AT ME SO FAST

TATTY: I NEVER GET MAD

I HAVE A WAY OF BEING “MASBIR” THINGS I AM NOT A KAASAN WHAT A CHUTZPAH YOU CALL YOUR FATHER A KAASAN VEE HUTT MEN DUUS GEHERT WAIT TILL I TELL YOUR REBBI ABOUT THIS .. CALL YOUR OWN FATHER A NAME AN INSULT! MY OWN SON! FORGET IT I HAVE NOTHING TO DISCUSS WITH YOU
YOU HAVE BAD MIDDOS.. YOU ARE UNGRATEFUL!! YOU ARE AS STUPID AS YOUR M M M

HE STOPPED MIDSENTENCE AND LOCKED HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 19:02 #311486

stillgoing
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bardichev wrote on 18 Oct 2009 20:07:

PART 5

MOMMY: PSST YANK ITS ME, MOMMY OPEN YOUR DOOR

ME: “IS TATTY WITH YOU?”

MOMMY:JUST OPEN THE DOOR SHE IS LAUGHING AGAIN (WHAT A SPORT)

YANK, LISTEN YOU HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO TATTY

ME: WHAT? I SAID NOTHING AND I WAS JUST A LITTLE FRESH I DIDN’T CALL ANY NAMES HE JUST FLIPS OUT.

MOMMY:TZADDIK LISTEN ITS ALL FROM HASHEM PLEASE (SHE REALLY IS SUCH A FRUMMY ON THE INSIDE)

EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO A PERSON IS “BASHERT” FROM HASHEM

GO ASK HIM MECHILAA WE CAN STILL HAVE A WONDERFUL SHABBOS

ME: WHAT DID I DO??

MOMMY: (TALKING TO HERSELF SHE NEVER DOES) NOTHING NOTHING LIKE ME

ME: WHAT?

MOMMY: JUST SAY I AM SORRY HE HAS A LOT ON HIS MIND

WHATS THE MATTER?

MOMMY:HE IS SCARED YOU WILL BECOME A BUMB

ME: ME A BUMB ?? I AM JUST AREGULAR KID

MOMMY:HE THINKS YOU ARE INTO GIRLS

WHAT?? ME I AM JUST AREGULAR KID?

MOMMY:YANKELEH (OUCH SHE IS IN BIG TROUBLE IF SHE IS ALSO YANKEHLEH-ING ME)

YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU

ME: YESS MA DON’T SAY THAT TWICE

MOMMY:DO IT FOR ME! (OUCH AGAIN)

ME: MA ONE SECOND!

AM I BECOMING A BUMB?

MOMMY:NO!

ME: AM I ANY DIFFERENT THAN YOU WANT ME TO BE

MOMMY:NO!

ME: ARE YOU DIFFERENT THAN TATTY WANTS YOU TO BE??

(MOMMY HUGS ME SO HARD I FEEL MY NECK CRACKING)

SHE WHISPERS IN MY EAR “ I AM WHAT TATTY WANTS ME TO BE”

YOU WONT UNDERSTAND TILL YOU GET OLDER

ME: MA! ME AND YOU ARE ON THE SAME TEAM I WILL DO IT FOR YOU !!

AS LONG AS I KNOW I AM NOT A BUMB IN YOUR EYES I AM COOL AS YOU!!

MOMMY:THAT’S MY BOY!!

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 19:03 #311487

stillgoing
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bardichev wrote on 19 Oct 2009 21:14:

PART 6

HI TATY ITS YANKY

YANKELEH IM AT WORK NOW WHY ARE YOU CALLING

I WANTED TO ..

APOLOGIZE OF COUSRE!! RIGHT?!

YESS TATTY

RIGHT?!

YESS TATTY YES

I AM CALLING YOU TO SAY I AM SORRY

ALSO..

WHAT ALSO?? FIRST SAY YOU ARE SORRY!!

TATTY I REALLY AM SOO SORRY I REALLY WANT TO MAKE UP SORRY

YOU KNOW ITS NOT EASY TO MAKE UP

I KNOW.. BUT I AM STILL SORRY

YOU KNOW YOU HURT MY FEELINGS YOU KNOW??

THATS WHY I AM CALLING TO SAY I AM SORRY

AND YOU KNOW IT WAS VERY UPSETTING THAT MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD WOULD HURT ME ANDMAKE CHOIZIK OF ME AND LAUGH AT ME AND IMITATE ME AND...

TATTY I REALLY BEG YOU FOR FORGIVENESS!!

BEG? YOU NEED TO BEG? BEG?

WHY ARE YOU TREATING ME LIKE I AM A BAAL GAAVEH?

YANY BE CARFUL ARE YOU SORRY OR PLAYING GAMES???

I DONT LIKE TRICKS AND I AM IN MIDDLE OF A MEETING I DONT HAVE TIME FOR YOU .. IMEAN FOR YOUR ANTICS.. YANKY JUST GO BACK TO LEARN..
YANKY I AM LOSING MY PATIENCE..YANKY ...

YANKY..??

YANKELEH??