Guys! (and bubby)

More jokes and less joking around!

:D

Uri wrote on 12 Oct 2009 19:57:


No picking on Bubby sonny boy, she's having fun.
Be a good boychik and go find RATM a nice link to his breakfast.

yes mommy  :-[
www.vintage123.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/grapenutsjan1910gh.jpg

LOL

OH MY GOSH!
THATS PERFECT!
HARD TO BREATH!

Rage AT Machine wrote on 12 Oct 2009 20:18:


Poor Rage!

The suspense must be killing you :D
(it really is funny...)

Guard, help the poor man before he starves!

sicko

Do you realize there is a cut up body in the background? :o :o :o :o

Rage, remind me to thank my Tatte in himmel that you are an ocean away!

Rage AT Machine wrote on 12 Oct 2009 20:31:


I get mine from scrambled eggs.
But to each his own.

I dont blame RATM for getting into a feeding frenzy knowing a great bowl of breakfast awaits just out of sight. Its not a fair tease.

Then again, what kind of tease is? :D

why we need a man like Winston Churchill:


"A sheep in sheep's clothing"
On Clement Atlee

A modest man, who has much to be modest about
On Clement Atlee

"An empty taxi arrived at 10 Downing Street, and when the door was opened, Atlee got out"
On Clement Atlee

"I wish Stanley Baldwin no ill, but it would have been much better if he had never lived"
On Stanley Baldwin

"He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened"
On Stanley Baldwin

"He looked at foreign affairs through the wrong end of a municipal drainpipe"
On Neville Chamberlain

Lady Astor to Churchill "Winston, if you were my husband I would flavour your coffee with poison"
Churchill: "Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it"

Bessie Braddock to Churchill "Winston, your drunk!"
Churchill: "Bessie, you're ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober"

"What could you hope to achieve except to be sunk in a bigger and more expensive ship this time"
On Admiral Mountbatten

more great warning labels:

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.
"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.
"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.
"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.
"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.
"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
"Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.
"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.
"Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter."
"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.
"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.
"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
"For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.
"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.

"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.
"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.

"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.

"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.

"Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.
"Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.
"Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.
"Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.
"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.
"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
"Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.
"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
"Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.

Shampoo instructions can be really bad for folks with OCD:

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

Uh oh.

"People often write me and ask how I keep my wood floors so clean when I live with a child and a dog, and my answer is that I use a technique called Suffering From a Mental Illness."

- Heather Armstrong (who suffers from OCD)

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants in a
study of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this
disorder.

The response was gratifying; they got 3,879 responses one hour after
the ad came out.

All from the same person.

A waiter approached the man studying the menu carefully at the fancy restaurant. "May I take your order, sir?" he asked.

"Well, I was wondering how you prepare your chickens." The man replied.

"Oh, it's nothing too special, sir," the waiter confided. "We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."