Hi,

"What works for me" is the category, so I figured I'd let you know a method that I have been tinkering with, and I am glad to report that when used (that doesn't mean that I always use it), it is 6 and 0! 

Here goes: (the last instance): I was jogging in the park minding my own business (supposedly), when on my left, a 23 year old blonde girl in a ponytail wearing a tank top & shorts passed me by (I figured she was 23, for i was able to count her veins, similar to the age of a tree). Now, from the moment I saw her, I knew she was mine for the taking. I instinctively sped up (as I felt my rib cage in agony) to get a better look, and to accurately assess if she indeed was 23, or perhaps I counted wrong. It was then that I knew that I was lusting after her and it needed to stop - immediately! [First I tried several other methods; more about that later.] So, for the sixth time, I used my method: I began to sing: M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E; Mickey Mouse (come on, you know it, sing along with me), and after several glances from other passerbys, it was over; I no longer was lusting after that 33 year old brunette; I was done with her. Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog! Pulled out my index card, labeled - you guessed it: Mickey Mouse Approach; pulled out my hole puncher and notched for the sixth time  a hole in the "victory" column. The losses column is still resting comfortably at 0. It works if you work it; you're worth it, so work it! "It's a brand new day; what'cha waiting for?

Now, some of you naysayers might say that I was just using the "distraction" method, but indeed I wasn't, and I can prove it. I tried that first. I distracted myself by counting sheep, but every sheep I envisioned was wearing the same tank top and shorts. No good.

I also tried the davaning approach; so I prayed for her, but I was praying that she and I would be holding hands by the Kosel (thru the mechitzah of course), both of us fervently praying that this relationship should last.

It was then that i pulled out the last stop gap; step one! I admitted that i was powerless and my life was unmanageable, and that was true, but if she would just come home with me, my life would be completely manageable.

What was I to do? I took out my pocket chovas halevavos and mesilas yesharim, but all I could think of was that the "straight path" would be by following my "heart" and hers was probably in the same place.

Nothing doing.

When all else fails, Mickey Mouse comes to the rescue - six times in a row - Goofy would be proud.

Not that i'm so audacious to tell any of you that this tried and proven method would work for you, but it might.

So long for now (that's me!).

My dear chaver,

I recommend you spend a few weeks watching the first half (the hilarious parts) of 10 shmoozes by Rav Shalom Schwadron zt"l...but skip the serious and meaningful end parts - you don't need that stuff at all. You are clearly overdosed and suffering from a severe case of OCD (Oy! Can't Doit!).

If R' Sholom's first halfs can't save you from your PTSS (Post-Teenage Seriousness Syndrome) c"v, then try about 10 kosher badchan videos from chassidish weddings until you learn how to laugh about yourself, about humanity, and then about yourself again a little more.

...And if none of those work to loosen you up a few notches, then it'll have to be some Richard Pryor. Sorry. There may be no other way.

But that would be a last resort, and the GYE censor (I believe that's how MT gets the big bucks here) would need to 'BEEP' out all the dirty words. 

But it would still work.

In fact, watching a Pryor routine is even funnier with the 'BEEP's because it then seems to be one, long 'BEEEEEPPP'!

Kind of like what the insides of our heads should sound like if we 'BEEP'd out all negative self-talk, overseriousness, euphoric recall of naked people stuff, and sports scores from before the Dodgers left Brooklyn.

You and I both need a refuah, young man.

Badly.

a letter to a father
Dear Tatty,
     $chool i$ really great.I am making alot of friend$, and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff,i $imply can`t think of anything i need,$o if you would like ,you can ju$t  $end me a card a$ i would love to hear from you.
                                                                                                                                         Love
                                                                                                                                           $hlomo
Dear Shlomo,
    i kNOw that astroNOmy and ecoNOmics are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
                                                                                                                                         Love  Tatty