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The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :)

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Getting out of Isolation and connecting with others is an important part of recovery. This board is for non-addiction related threads, where members exchange jokes, have fun - and drink Lechayim Together!

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TOPIC: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 351934 Views

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 15 Dec 2016 11:58 #300002

jewishfiltergeek
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Ever Wonder?

If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing nightgowns?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposite?

Why do 'overlook' and 'oversee' mean opposite things?

If horrific means to make horrible does terrific mean to make terrible?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one or oneteen?

"I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do." is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians should be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"

If a disgruntled postal worker is unhappy, is a happy postal worker gruntled?

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 19 Dec 2016 16:09 #300379

YidFromMonsey
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jewishfiltergeek wrote on 15 Dec 2016 11:58:

Never wondered till now but I do now... lol

You're better than yesterday but not as good as you're gonna be tomorrow. - Harvey

Hello Everyone!

yfm10952@gmail.com

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 08 Jan 2017 16:51 #302516

jewishfiltergeek Current streak: 9 days OFFLINE Expert Boarder Posts: 86 Karma: 7	Thinking of changing my username to "nobody", so that I can leave a thank you and it should say: The following users left a thank you, Nobody.

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 08 Jan 2017 16:59 #302518

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8281 Karma: 427	jewishfiltergeek wrote: Thinking of changing my username to "nobody", so that I can leave a thank you and it should say: The following users left a thank you, Nobody. On this thread that would pass On the humor free thread you'd see your karma drop
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Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 08 Jan 2017 17:05 #302520

shlomo24 Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 2213 Karma: 135	jewishfiltergeek wrote on 08 Jan 2017 16:51: Thinking of changing my username to "nobody", so that I can leave a thank you and it should say: The following users left a thank you, Nobody. That's hysterical.
	If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 08 Jan 2017 19:42 #302540

stillgoing OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1700 Karma: 157	npr.com President-elect Donald Trump served up his latest Cabinet appointment on Monday, announcing he had chosen New Jersey governor Chris Christie to be secretary of steak.
	BIG SHOT! Free Choice?! Yirai's Memories STORY TIME :) Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go. FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards) 613stillgoing@gmail.com

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 09 Jan 2017 03:56 #302574

gevura shebyesod
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Hey don't post food jokes on a fast day it's Loeg LoRosh.

!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 12 Jan 2017 22:27 #303001

Blind Beggar OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Not a sexaholic, just trying to be good. Posts: 780 Karma: 12	I called my dog "Four Miles" so I can say I just walked 4 miles if anyone asks if I ever get any exercise.
	The Blind Beggar is a character in Rebbe Nachman's story of the Seven Beggars. If I view a woman as an object, I am powerless over lust, but I don't have to look. I can guard my eyes. I want to guard my eyes. I do guard my eyes. Why do I say these four lines?

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 13 Jan 2017 01:26 #303013

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8281 Karma: 427	Blind Beggar wrote: I called my dog "Four Miles" so I can say I just walked 4 miles if anyone asks if I ever get any exercise. You called your dog. Ok ~~weird~~ Is he another recovering lustaholic?
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Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 17 Jan 2017 05:22 #303336

Markz
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Kollel Guy wrote on 12 Jan 2010 08:28:

I was never zocheh to see it, but my friend told my about one chassidish guy who made the entire plane play musical chairs for 1/2 hr - so he shouldn't sit next to a lady, and then switched on the movie.

Still, I don't know why anybody needs a video. By far the best entertainment on the plane is when a yeshiva bochur has a pushing match with the stewardess, shimoneh esrei vs. big wheely thing with a bunch of 1/2 oz cans in them. He usually wins.

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Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 31 Jan 2017 04:19 #304655

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8281 Karma: 427	Hilarious Kiruv vid www.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?v=38142
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Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 31 Jan 2017 19:13 #304703

mayanhamisgaber
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a great post by markz

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 31 Jan 2017 12:48:

WOW (i don't mean women of the wall!!!)
if there are any questions you have in kodshim please feel free to ask i have learnt z'vachim minachos and more

Kodshim: Some are holy and don't need gye
Zevachim: Any addicts killed their YH?
Zera'im: most of us have done that
Warning: Spoiler!
mz"l
Nezikin: Dov is an expert
Nashim: Cordnoy is an expert.
Anashim: Ask Gevura or Shlomo
Moed: I like to party, do you?

[/quote]

very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 26 Feb 2017 05:40 #306792

gevura shebyesod
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So this old guy goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him "I have two pieces of bad news for you. The first one is that you have cancer."

"OMG that's terrible. What's the second one?"

"You have Alzheimers."

"What a relief, at least I don't have cancer!"

Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 03 Mar 2017 03:27 #307314

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8281 Karma: 427
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Re: The Depressed Person's Chill Spot :) 03 Mar 2017 10:35 #307348

mayanhamisgaber Current streak: 44 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1199 Karma: 71	Wasn't that your' old truck?
	very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!