Me3 wrote on 19 Oct 2009 22:15:


The women are chasing the men - by playing hard to get.

Letakein - Nice question i share with you, but for another thread.
Now quick! Back to the antidepressants!!!

Lust is like parking meters in NYC...first they take all your change and then you get towed anyway.

...needs work, ok.....

letakain21 wrote on 19 Oct 2009 22:18:


dont cry letakain...it gets better one day






























































































































women have a longer life span

LOL! ;D

and thanks for spelling my name right, rage!

Rage found it funny:



Me3 doesn't get it either:



But Uri answered it best:



I'm not sure if anyone really understood what Uri was TryIng to say.  

If women wanted what the MEN wanted, it wouldn't be a curse at all. But "Teshukasech" does not mean "lust"... It means that a woman's entire desire is - to be liked, understood, and cared for, by a man. That is the meaning of "el Isheich Teshukasech" (notice it is "el isheich", and not to other men - so obviously not lust based). So while we just want the lust, the women fall for it and think that we want to love and care and understand them. And they often learn the hard way, that they completely mis-read their man... This is a big curse. A married man can usually feel happy in life without his wife. He is a business man, changing the world, doing big things... By default, he treats women like he treats food. He may be hungry, but once he's eaten, he's fine - and she can go to heck (I'm not talking about people who work on themselves). A married woman, on the other hand, by default, needs the recognition, caring and understanding of her husband - to feel whole. Without that, she feels completely lost. She doesn't look to "change the world". She wants only one thing in life, "el isheich teshukaseich". And that's a big curse, cuz men don't give it - by default. (Ask Dov, he'll tell you how it took staring down the barrel of the gun of lust before he learned to start using the "women's currency" in his marriage... See the Daily Dose of Dov in Chizuk e-mail #606)

(Now, you might say it's a curse for us men too, eh?  ;D But in reality, it's our biggest blessing - because it forces us out of ourselves. This clash of "needs" is what ultimately turns a man into a mentch. But poor women... till we get there...)

10 Commandments of Marriage
 
Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But, so are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 1000 grand!

Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the
man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say.
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical,
and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matters of chemistry.
That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
Bonus Commandment story.
A long - married couple came upon a wishing well.
The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too.
But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife
was stunned for a moment but then smiled,
"Wow! This stuff really works!"   

 

 

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

I loved this one:

wow mom, thanks. that must be the funniest thing i have ever read

top 5 reasons dogs are better than men:

Dogs do not play games with you--except fetch (and then they don't laugh at how you throw).
Dogs don't feel threatened by female intelligence.
You can train a dog not to make a mess in the house.
Dogs understand what the word "NO" means.

And the number one reason dogs are better than men:

You can neuter dogs legally.

woof! ouch!

Funny how we pretty much end up at the same place no matter which thread we have. Oh well.

Beware::
Singles around.
Getting discouraged.  :o

Kids  :

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an
elderly man in a wheelchair into the room.  As she went to the
receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent.


Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy
slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair.  Placing his
hand on the man's, he said, 'I know how you feel.  My mom makes me ride in
the stroller too.'.

-----------------------------

Out bicycling one day with my eight-year-old granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a
little wistful.  'In ten years,' I said, 'you'll want to be with your
friends and you won't go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do
now.

Carolyn shrugged. 'In ten years you'll be too old to do all those things
anyway.'

----------------------------------

Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving
immunization shots to children.  One day I entered the examining room to
give four-year-old Lizzie her needle.

'No, no, no!' she screamed.

'Lizzie,' scolded her mother, 'that's not polite behavior.'

With that, the girl yelled even louder, 'No, thank you! No, thank you!

---------------------------

On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson asked my son the
question. 'Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do
they get there in the first place?'  he asked innocently.

After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in
disgust. 'You don't have to make something up, Dad. It's OK if you don't
know the answer.'

----------------------

Just before I was deployed to Iraq , I sat my eight-year-old son down and
broke the news to him..

'I'm going to be away for a long time,' I told him.  'I'm going to Iraq .'

'Why?!' he asked. 'Don't you know there's a war going on over there?'

-----------------------

Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children stricken
with cancer, AIDS and blood diseases.  One afternoon he and his wife, Joanne
Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids.


A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn't know
that Newman was a famous movie star, explained, 'That's the man who made
this camp possible.  Maybe you've seen his picture on his salad dressing
bottle?'

Blank stares.

'Well, you've probably seen his face on his lemonade carton.'

An eight-year-old girl perked up.  'How long was he missing?'

thanks trying i really needed that pick me up...kids are funny...