yoe bloke! i have swimming trunks
cheers mate

israel613120 wrote:


What we call beer, you call lager. What we call beer, you call disgusting. This might be mutual.

Got a new one today... they call grates hubs...
lets check Webster's to see what a 'hub' is: "the effective center of an activity, region, or network." Now how does that make it to a stovetop? do you do all your activities by the stove? then what the heck are u doing on this site!?!?!?

Where else would you make your cholent?

Guys guys guys,
It ain't a hub. It's a hob.

shlomo613 wrote:


Now, that explains it!

The other day, my wife said: I'm in such pain; the [sorry: thought it meant somethin' else] hit me square in the face. I was kinda perplexed.

Later that evenin', she said that Lady Isabelle (wife of Lord Lucas) invited her and some other socialites for some hob-knobbin'.

Oki.

I'll let Shlomo613 translate this.
Just got on que, mate, and this huge lorry just stuck his boot into my bonnet. I leaped out of my auto and a huge row began. Suddenly my American friend sicked and for some strange reason asked for a nappy? He explained that his pants got wet. I thought he was jesting so I looked in my pocket for a soviet, but my mobile fell out so I call up his flat but he was engaged. "Would you like a biscuit?" someone asked me, "not really, my whole wing has fallen off because of this lorry!" We put the wing into a trolley from the nearby sweet shop, and pushed it out of the zebra crossing. Then the lorry driver apologized for causing this diversion in the middle of the town centre and he told me that he was on his way to a chemist's shop, and he had the nerve to ask me to a game of draughts! I told him that I'd rather send my Alsatian on him. He didn't appreacite my humour and called his barrister. Not to be outdone I wrote down his number plate, and told him that he better expect a letter in the post. Then I went to my flat, took the lift to my floor, and put my favourite flannel under the tap, and then placed it on my head. I then ate aubergine that were past the expiry date (yuck!), and fish-fingers & chips, and then went to the gents.
Just wanted to know if you guys in the stolen colony that you call the united states saw my anorak, I've been looking for it with my torch since my mum tided up
Hope you enjoyed, My name is Joe Bloggs

P.S. This Shabbos, is July 4th. A very sad day, - you rebels!

(No, I am not English, -- unless you consider us all to be English rebels

Hilarious! You have certainly had an eventful day. I must say your English is very good. You are clearly hanging out with the right kind of people. Would it be our Royal Highness or perhaps just a minor squire?

cordnoy wrote:

Very funny Cords! Your wife is certainly well connected. I'm not sure about the k in knobbin'. Does it kind of make up for the missing g?

Cordnoy, I've been wondering. Do you only drop g's on he end of words with double consonants, or would you even do it for a word like slug or bug or tug?
How about for compound nouns like hog-wash and sang-froid?

shlomo613 wrote:


Those are all 'ood questions. Wish I would have the knowled'e to answer them. I used to know the rules, but ever since I started postin' from my samsun' phone, and there it was be'innin' to be a pain when i was swipin' to individually type the letters and add the thin'y at the end of each word, it was 'ettin' too complicated, so I said, "for'et it!" it just wasn't worth it. thanks for inquirin' though.

American
"My shvigger is amazing, she does so much for us... she like a million dollars"

Englishman
"My mother in law is more incredible! she's like a million pounds"

I heard people use trains a lot in England. Here's a free tip

In a Madrid train station, there were two Jews in the line to buy tickets to Paris. A few people
behind were two Turkish guys quietly watching the Jews, always wanting to play tricks on
them. When the moment came, the Jews bought only one ticket but, to the astonishment of the
Turks, the two of them got on the train.
As it was a non-stop trip, at a certain moment a conductor came into the car and started clipping
the passengers' tickets. The Turks, watching the Jews, started to giggle, certain that the Jews
would be caught. But, to the Turks' amazement, before the conductor could see, the Jews ran
and both went into a single lavatory.
Used to having people in the toilets, the conductor knocked on the door: "Paris, Paris, ticket,
please!" Immediately, the Jews slipped the only ticket they had under the door for the man to
clip it. The Turks were astounded by the trick (and mad, because they had spent money
unnecessarily).
After a few days, Turks could be seen in the line to purchase tickets back to Madrid. The Jews
came a bit later. Of course, the Turks bought only one ticket. What surprised them was that
when the Jews saw it, they left the line without tickets.
Again came the moment when the conductor stepped into the car. The two Turks went for the
toilet right away, the same way the Jews had done before. The Jews sat patiently until the
Turks were in the lavatory. Then, in a flash, they went to the toilet and knocked on the Turks'
door. The Turks immediately slipped the ticket underneath the door. The Jews grabbed it and
dashed into the next lavatory.... .

markz wrote:


If it ain't a toilet, it's a loo.