Lchaim Tovim wrote on 08 Aug 2022 17:56:

i will send an email to the group

Trouble wrote on 08 Aug 2022 18:33:

today @ 4:30 EST won

i'm not prepared for the topic, but we will do our best (life experience should help)

what a call!!!
Over an hour and nine participants!

can someone write a synopsis please (and try not to include the beeps)?

thanks

I'll start it off, (was on and off a bit) 
Spoke about pressuring, prueswading, manipulating (hint: dont...) the wife into sex and certain acts. 

Body image

Passive bystander in the bedroom (your take was a chiddush to me Troub)

And some thought provoking Lchaim Tovim questions.... 

Btw L'chaim I also get a beep every time the word sex is mentioned, but to alert me, not to bleep it out... 

And Trouble, that nail on black board comparison, is something that Cords also said he heard from his wife, got me wondering, thing its popular on the women's side?... 

Woah, sorry I missed it. Can we have some more info for those who were not there? Is this for the BB forum?

Sapy wrote on 08 Aug 2022 22:12:

we explained the difference, in my opinion, between a wife who's passive (bystander; I don't like the word, and perhaps I need to read again), and one who is disengaged. our women might lay still and not do any "work," or perform any "acts," but if they're having pleasure, that is not something to complain about. and we expounded upon that. when they are disengaged, then they are nothing more than a blowup doll, and a headache to boot.

which part was the chidush?

That to some women bystannding is just fine. It makes lots of sense just never thought about it.

Sapy wrote on 09 Aug 2022 00:28:

which type of bystanding are you referring to?

When someone would've complained yesterday that his wife is bystannding, I would've agreed that something is off, what as today I would've asked if shes present and enjoying or disengaged. We sometimes get a picture and definition of a word based on our experiences, which is why that made me realize that words can sometimes have very different meanings to each of us.

Trouble wrote on 08 Aug 2022 22:00:

I liked this snippet (among others):

Guy on the chat: I'm so triggered, I want to masturbate. 
Trouble: OK...?
GOC: So I want to masturbate! 
Troub: OK, so?
GOC: What "so"?! Are you saying that I should do it?!
Trouble: I didn't say that.
GOC: So what should I do?
Troub: Um, nothing...


I think there's a powerful depth in this simplicity.

connected wrote on 09 Aug 2022 12:05:

You were on? You gotta say hello next time. Totally agree with you about this. Sometimes we spend to much time trying to reinvent the wheel.

Trouble, thank you so much for the call, after party was awesome. I'm not sure how I'm going to explain the long distance charges for phone calls to Nauru but I'll figure it out somehow.

For me the biggest takeaway was that you have a rabbi hat you can put on.

All of it was excellent, thought provoking and said as is.

Sapy wrote on 08 Aug 2022 22:12:

I don't know if any of my questions are thought provoking, more like mushed up jumble of normal abnormalities. I appreciate when you chim in, you add alot to the conversation and always give me what to think about.

connected wrote on 09 Aug 2022 12:05:

thank you all
very little time today
allow me to edit please for accuracy

Guy on the chat: I'm so triggered, I want to masturbate. 
Trouble: ok...?
GOC: So I want to masturbate! 
Trouble: ok, so?
GOC: What "so"?! Are you saying that I should do it?!
Trouble: i didn't say that.
GOC: So what are you saying?
Trouble: that it's ok to have that feeling.
GOC: Really?
Trouble: yes
GOC: So, now what?
Trouble: what do you want?
GOC: Good question.