#46
One would not call himself a bad person for making a wrong turn, he might call himself a bad driver, but not a bad person. Let us never make the mistake and look at ourselves as bad people for making mistakes, we might have done wrong things, but that does not make us bad as a person.

sleepy wrote on 16 Aug 2019 02:23:

Just as there will never be an act that will turn a human being (literally) into an animal, or a jew into a non-jew, so to there will never be an act that will determine a person BAD. A person by definition cannot be bad. A person is a soul down on earth, and a soul in essence cannot be bad. All that can be is that one can use his soul for bad doings, but the soul itself will not be bad.
Or in other words, we use our powers of the soul sometimes to do bad stuff. But not that the soul itself is bad.

I don't think these concepts apply to goyim. 

#47
There is almost nothing one can do to achieve happiness. But if one works and lives with meaning, purpose and does what's right, then he will be happy. In other words, being happy is not a goal, its a result of a way of life.

gyehelp2017 wrote on 16 Aug 2019 02:39:

Sources???

#48
Why feel depressed over the past if we can feel happy about the future. If thinking about the past will help us grow and become better, then go ahead. But if it only brings us down, then why not (for the time being) focus on the future, and with time we will learn how to handle the past with happiness.

sbj wrote on 19 Aug 2019 15:56:

Lubavitcher Rebbe and Chassidut, I think

#49
What you did yesterday does not define you for today. What you did yesterday is done already, but how you will be today is still in your hands, so use it wisely!

#50
Hashem does not give us struggles that we cannot overcome. Sometimes we got to use all that we got to keep strong, But we definitely can overcome those struggles.

gyehelp2017 wrote on 21 Aug 2019 14:57:

Hey 2017, Hi!

This maybe true, it could be good if you could upgrade the hard drive with backup (source sheets...)

”Hashem does not give us struggles that we cannot overcome. Sometimes we got to use all that we got to keep strong”

Some struggles we have are overcome-able, yes - with help from outside ourselves!

I’m just sayin’ what works for me :-)

Markz wrote on 21 Aug 2019 17:38:

As I once heard from Rabbi Avrohom J. Twersky speaking about concept in the 12 steps - being 'powerless', and someone asked him that according to torah we always have Bichirah, how can that work together? He answered brilliantly, that yes! We always have bichirah to do whats right, for some with their own power, and others that are powerless themselves (according to the 12 steps) with the help of others outside of ourselves (Higher power, group meetings, the steps.....). But we always have the power to get to the bottom line to overcome even the worst addictions, each to their own.

I don't see the contradiction, with all friends and "outside help" which is necessary, however if the person himself doesn't want to change then no friends or therapy will help. 

I chose to join gye, I chose to fight each urge, I chose to go to therapy, I chose to join live meetings, it was my free choice. 

gyehelp2017 wrote on 21 Aug 2019 17:58:

I heard another pshat, that a person is born with the ability of free choice, if he became an addict and lost free choice, then ye he chose to take that path which eventually took away his power of free choice.

It's like a person which makes himself deadly ill to a point that he has zero control to choose to live because at that stage it's too late, he used his "free choice" to end up in a situation which can't be backtrackted.

R' Shafier speaks about this in his "Fight" series.  Many ppl were put in certain situations that were nearly impossible to overcome.  Their nisayon was not to overcome that specific challenge.  Rather, once they were put in that situation how did they respond?  Once they became addicts, did they seek the necessary help?

#51
As long as we believe that we can change, then we have hope. And as soon as we actually take our first step to change, then not only do we have hope, we also start having freedom.