Don't get me wrong, i am  not demeaning what your doing. Its such an original approach that I am curious about its effect on others. Lust is an illusion. I know of someone who told his wife that all his years single he thought if must be heaven. Now, that he is married he sees its no different than any other need. A
"good piece of chocolate" is better . So, illicit lust in any form is for sure really nothing.

Youch!

Odd thing is , I dropped porn a while ago  with the help of merciless filters - but I remember that this was my main motivation. Their eyes. They all played their parts like bad actresses but the men were never acting and they were cruel animals - as was I in my sick fantasy land - but only good actresses can act with their eyes. Their eyes almost always screamed "stop! stop! stop! stop! stop hurting and degrading and using me!" - rare is the woman who truly wants to be used, even one who's done it over and over again.  I couldn't take that. I remember a site bragging that they always made girls cry. I couldn't take, and that put me on the road to recovery. Still not home, but at least porn free. An addict yes - in fantasy land we don't hurt anyone - but porn was too real, because those things actually happened,  and I saw real pain and I couldn't enjoy even in the throes of my worst days, and I refuse to hurt or enjoy a dog being tortured, heck - in camp when kids picked off the legs of a spider I protested -  never mind a "consenting" - that is, taken total emotional and fiscal advantage of - human being.  And if we didn't watch it, pay for it, - this torture wouldn't happen. End of story.

You know, I've read about "John School" for men caught with a first offense with a prostitute - and they tell you about the realities of prostitution, the pain, degradation, disease, abuse, and what they really think about the "johns". Perhaps it's time for "porn school"...

Keep on posting.

kanesher wrote on 02 Dec 2009 20:30:


Well I haven't completely cleansed myself of it yet, which is mostly why I do this. It's more for me than you.

And yes, I will continue.

PART TWO:


As quick as that the glamour of being a porn star was gone. In the five years I was shooting I caught
Gonorrhea and Chlamydia many times. Sometimes both at the same time about every 3-5 months.
Catching these STD's makes you so sick! Your stomach hurts your back and my private parts were on fire
of pain. It sucked! And also you get yeast infections and bladder infections pretty often too. A lot of people
get herpes. I was lucky that I didn't.
I continued in the industry because my life was ruled by a porn star lifestyle. And this lifestyle was very
destructive. Besides catching STD's as a porn star, there were more bad things. I soon became friends
with other porn girls and we would do nothing but drink all day. Or take pain killers all day. I soon got
addicted to alcohol and pain killers (Vicodin and narcotics).
You first start taking pain killers to get through your scenes, especially [edit]. Even agents would tell their
girls to take them so they could do a good scene and the agent would get a pat on the back by directors
for having such good talent. My addiction grew and I would drive home from shoots totally trashed. If I
would have been pulled over I would have gone to jail for a D.U.I for sure! I even had good friends call me
asking me to pick them up from their shoot because they were too [edit] up to drive home. It was sad
because the companies that would shoot us would know what was going on and they would even support
it sometimes.
A lot of times when I shot for certain companies, I would know I didn't need to bring my own alcohol
because it would always be on set for them and the talent. Note: It’s completely illegal to give talent
alcohol or drugs when they are shooting. I even got hurt on set where the director and all the crew knew I
was drinking. I had to go to the hospital because they didn't clear off the set properly and I ran into glass
and had to get 8 stitches on my ankle. I went back and did the shoot because I wanted to be a "good porn
star" for the company. I wanted to get more work from them maybe even a contract. That didn't happen. I
wish I would have thought about myself.

Check out these facts.

Why am I showing them to you?

Because we must know the enemy if we are to slay it. And it is quite the beast. The porn industry is a revenue-generating monster (a monstrosity it is).

Why should you care how big the industry is and how much money it generates?

Because the government won't shut it down, that's why. Same reason they haven't killed the tobacco tycoons even though smoking kills, even second hand. And so does porn. Also second hand.
What does it mean?

It means we're on our own. A million to one. Lone knights fighting through the darkness against all odds to save ourselves and others, out of personal interest and a greater calling of justice.




Pornography Industry Statistics
Size of the Industry $57.0 billion world-wide - $12.0 billion US
Adult Videos $20.0 billion
Magazines $ 7.5 billion
Phone Sex $ 4.5 billion
Cable & Pay Per View $ 2.5 billion
Internet $ 2.5 billion
CD-Rom $ 1.5 billion
Novelties $ 1.0 billion
Other $ 1.5 billion

Porn revenue is larger than all combined revenues of all professional football, baseball and basketball
franchises.
US porn revenue exceeds the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC (6.2 billion)

Child pornography generates $3 billion annually



I couldn't believe that last one. What does that say about society??

SICK!

Sick isn't the answer. It means we've forgotten how to live on a societal level. When you open the TV and everyone is lying and everyon eknows it and people still vote for the best liar...you've gotten realize, we've forgotten how to be in touch with ourselves. Forgotten how to live.

The abuse, the pain, the emptiness, the broken homes and broken marriages and broken hearts -
porn is just a giant band aid put on all of it. Don't we know that better then everyone? And it's a self-propelling cycle. the industry breaks more hearts, which requires more porn. An addicted society - a society remember is just a bunch of people.

Yeah, just like the drug industry. Spend forty billion dollars fighting it - but as long as we feel empty, we will always find a way to get our drug of choice. End of story.

I've got more fun statistics for later.

Voting for the best liar? Why, you couldn't possibly be referring to Barak Hussein Obama now, could you? He would never tell a lie.

These stories are telling. Whenever a person views porn, c'v, besides doing an aveira the the person is also the beneficiary of another human being's suffering. We can assume that any given "actor" or "actress" in the industry is a suffering, broken soul.

Hey K-nesh. I wasnt trying to say that it was the answer. I was trying to summarize all that he wrote in one word. Especially the part with the kids ugh ugh ugh

Since the law is that "models" must be 18 or older, technically stuff portraying a 17 year old who's one day shy of 18 is "child porn".

But I seriously doubt that that's what this disturbing statistic is referring to.

No it most definitly is not referring to that. And thats what makes this whole thing so sick.

Here's more fun facts.
It may seem random, but I'm building up to a point.
You'll just have to keep checking in....


Pornographic websites 4.2 million (12% of total websites)
Pornographic pages 372 million         (one page per US citizen!)
Daily pornographic search engine requests 68 million (25% of total search engine requests)
Daily pornographic emails 2.5 billion (8% of total emails)
Average daily pornographic emails/user 4.5 per Internet user
Monthly Pornographic downloads (Peer-to-peer) 1.5 billion (35% of all downloads)
Daily “child pornography” requests 116 thousand on peer-to-peer
Websites offering illegal child pornography 100 thousand
Worldwide visitors to pornographic web sites 72 million annually

the stories are fantastic . they kill my taivah like an electric shock .you have no idea how long to this day i am fighting ideas of private relations taught to me by porn. i can't shake them b/c i never had the flip side to disgust me. 
thank you .
  please keep it up Master Wayne . 

P.S. give me a good sick one!Gross me out! i wanna get nausious on my key board! .  >