One of the most popular threads on the forum is the  ""I'm about to FALL" thread, started by Uri in mid-August.  That thread allows forum members to call out for help if they feel that a fall is impending.

The problem is that it's often too late, the reason being that, if a member is about to "fall," he may well have already "slipped" (for the difference between "slipping" and "falling," see here, rule #8).  One reason that it's called "slipping" is that, once we've slipped, it's often a "slippery slope" until we, c"v, fall and, quite often, fall hard.

So, I thought it might be helpful to start a new thread, for those who have not even slipped yet, but are afraid that they're on the verge of doing so.  By calling out for help at that point, they may well be able to change course before things start getting totally out of control.

Remember: Just as alcoholics must avoid that first sip, we need to avoid that first slip!

Great Chiluk Kedusha. Very true that what you said. Reminds me of the pringles moto. "Once you pop the fun(?) dont stop". Hopefully wont be fun though. Kedusha, you always have something inspiring to say weather on here or the phone group. Thanks for the chizuk.

-INH

We should start a thread called "I have feeling I might be in a situation next week that could cause R.I.D".

Just kidding around, I like the new thread idea, Keep up the good work, Kedusha!  :D

i like it too.
a lot.
i think it's genius.
thanks!

i think it's genious 2!

Me3!







oh oh; did he notice?

i think some of us need some training in what "bout to slip "is . and where the pitfalls are to avoid . it could be very useful. thanx . 

lamed vavnik wrote on 01 Nov 2009 06:55:


Check out the second link in my post above.

imtrying25 wrote on 01 Nov 2009 14:17:


How to avoid a slip?  A slip needs to be viewed in the exact way that a recovering alcoholic needs to view a sip of bourbon: "If I take that one sip, I'm dead!"

(I recognize that, once someone has c"v slipped or fallen, he needs to make the best of the situation and should not let it get him down.  But, before the fact, one's attitude needs to be that even a slip is DEADLY, which, indeed, it is).

Thanks kedusha you are so right. But why do i have such a hard time convincing myself of this fact. Harder than not to look at p*** and harder than not ma***** is for me to fully accept amd understand that its so deadly. I just tell myself its not right. Its not the right thing to do. But i cant get myself to realize its DEADLY (We can cont on my post if you like)

I gotta question???? How is it possible that one who is in the process of "slipping" and about to fall any second, is going to stop what he/she is doing at that moment and log on to GUE and post on this thread? For example, if someone is continuously viewing pictures and videos and is basically "sideswiped" by the YH and caught up in a tidal wave of lust, it seems from my limited view, that its pretty impossible to stop and come here to post. At least, I can't manage to do that, anymore. Is so hard, I feel like quitting, sometimes.:'(

Giant Leap.

If you're not yet completely caught up in the lust, posting your feelings and thoughts can help you "get out of your head"... And the Chizuk you'll get from others with strengthen you.

However, you're right. In that moment of lust, nothing can help besides:
1) Calling a LIVE partner and talking it out (See this page)
2) Surrender (see Chizuk e-mail #615 on this page)
3) Tefilah. Telling Hashem you simply can't do it without His help (this is similar to #2)
4) Surrender

Giant Leap wrote on 01 Nov 2009 21:53:


Once a person has started slipping, he needs to deal with the situation that he's in, which is a difficult one.  The key is not to slip in the first place.

Say, for example, that someone is having difficulty with impure thoughts.  Although it's nothing to be proud of, it's not even considered a slip within the GYE rules.  Or, he saw something by mistake, and looked away immediately.  Again, that's not even a slip.  But, now he's tempted to allow his eyes to stray, which will, at the very least, be considered a slip.  Now's the time to post - before the slip occurs!  Don't wait -once you've slipped, it's so much more difficult!

guardureyes wrote on 01 Nov 2009 22:03:


Thanks R'Guard and Kedusha for responding. Specifically, the link to the topic of surrender is what I was looking for. My problem is that its difficult for me to surrender unconditionally. I guess I still want to have some control over the matter and thats why I am still falling. Besides the point, I can go several days clean and worry free till the YH attacks me blind-sided, then for some reason I give into the the foreign thoughts to search so and so and fall. I understand to some degree in what we are up against when we are fighting the YH. The YH is an angel of G-d and only our faith in Hashem can we defeat the YH. I have to come to the "surrender" realization myself and I guess there is no way anyone can help me with that.


Thanks for your guys' support.

Giant Leap

Kedusha wrote on 01 Nov 2009 22:53:


All right, I'm living through this right now.  I accidentally saw something online, immediately covered it up, and quickly closed out of the website.  The y"h is in a bit of a bind, because, according to both the Halacha and the GYE rules, this was neither an aveira nor a "slip."  So, he needs to stretch the truth, something he's quite good at.  But, let's get real, y"h: who hasn't accidentally turned on a light on Shabbos in their life?  Is that a reason to then be Mechallel Shabbos b'Meizid? [For the record, I try to tape most of the light switches in my house before Shabbos, but I digress].

There is a difference, of course.  In this area, the y"h has the power of an addiction on his side.  For this reason, I'm sharing my experience with others, something that I would not have done in the case of a Shabbos mistake.  By doing so, I hope that my friends on the forum will not let the y"h dominate the conversation!  But, even if no one chooses to reply, my hope is that my getting the truth out in the open will will drown out the sheker of the y"h's arguments.

Remember: Just as alcoholics must avoid that first sip, we need to avoid that first slip!