I AM FAINTIN……………………….

:o :o :o :o :o      :o          :o    :o :o :o :o
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
i almost started davening for them and then i was like, hey! it's fake! lol!

guardureyes wrote on 01 Nov 2009 20:32:


Guard, you're off your gain. Proper guard thought should be : If I sell this to hollywood then I can get bard to give GYE 30%...

                                    PART 18

REBBI WEINBERG ESCORTS THE FREIDSTIENS TO THE DOOR .HE PUTS A SMALL NOTE ON THE CLASSROOM DOOR SAYING HE IS SORRY HE CAN NO LONGER MEET PARENTS TONITE DUE TO UNFORSEEN REASONS.THE PARENTS IN THE HALLWAY LOOK VERY UPSET.

TOO BAD ,HE THINKS.. I AM IN HOT WATER

HE LOCKS THE DOOR.

HE PUTS HIS HEAD DOWN ON HIS DESK

RABBI WEINFELD BEGINS TO CRY.. AND CRY..

WHAT A ROTTEN GUY WHAT A PIECE OF TRASH..THAT HESHY FRIEDSTIEN

WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS??

WHY DID I EVER TRY TO HELP OUT THAT YANKI KID??

KIDS ARE DANGEROUS

PARENTS ARE EVEN MORE DANGEROUS

PARENTS THAT DON’T GET ALONG ARE THE MOST DANGEROUS!!

WHY DID I EVER TAKE THAT WOMAN’S PHONE CALL??

AM I CRAZY??

I NEVER TAKE PHONE CALLS FROM PARENTS ON MY CELL..I MAKE ONE EXCEPTION BOOOOOM!!!

DID I NEED TO LOSE MY CAREER? MY FAMILY? MY STATURE?

CRY. CRY… CRY..

WHO CAN HELP ME?? MRS.FREIDSTIEN ?? FUGGEDABOUTIT!! SHE IS “TOAST” I WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED IF THAT MONSTER MURDERS HER TONIGHT..


CRY. CRY… CRY..

I DID NOTHING..FRAMED..DUPED..SLANDERED..RUINED..
WHO KNOWS THE TRUTH??!!

CHANI FRIEDSTIEN? YES! BUT …

THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP ME IS YANKI!

I NEED THAT KID NOW ! HE CAN HELP ME!

CRY. CRY… CRY..

OK I NEED TO GRAB HOLD OF MYSELF ..AND IF I ACT LIKE A “SICKO” PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE IT.

OK

LETS GO AND FACE THE MUSIC

I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS

RABBI WIENFELD STANDS UP LOOKS AROUND HIS CLASSROOM WHERE HE TAUGHT FOR THE PAST SEVEN YEARS
HE LOVINGLY LOOKS AT THE CLASS PICTURES..
HE LOOKS AT ALL THE EMPTY DESKS OF HIS TALMIDIM HE SO MUCH LOVES AND CARES ABOUT.
HE LOOKS AT THE DESK OF YANKI.
OY THAT BOY HOW I WISH I COULD STRAIGHTEN OUT HIS HARD LIFE.
OY THE PRINCIPAL WARNED ME
“KEEP AWAY FROM THE TATTEH” ..HE IS A BISSEL A PARSHA..
“ THE MOTHER IS REALLY A HIDDEN TZADEKES” ..
“NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE”..
OY WHY DO I OVERDO IT..
WHY CANT I JUST PUNCH THE CLOCK..
TEACH AND LEAVE..

RABBI WEINFELD HEADS TO THE CLOSET. TO GET HIS HAT AND COAT..DRIVES HOME

AS RABBI WEINFELD PULLS UP TO HIS SMALL HOUSE HE SEES SOMETHING WEIRD

IT LOOKS LIKE A BAG ON HIS FRONT PORCH

RABBI WEINFELD WHO IS DRAINED FROM THE EVENINGS EVENTS HAS NO STRENGTH FOR ADDITIONAL MYSTERIES

HE GRABS A SMALL FLASH LIGHT FROM HIS GLOVE COMPARTMENT..
HE TIP TOES OP THE STAIRS

HE SHINES THE LIGHT ON THE BAG…COULD IT BE…
YIKES!!! IT’S A PERSON!!

HEY! YOU! HE SHOUTS!

RABBI WEINFELD IS FRIGHTENED

THE PERSON RAISES HIS HEAD AND SCREAMS OUT…

“REBBI!! SAVE ME!!

YANKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE IN MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT??

YOU WHERE HERE THE WHOLE TIME??

YANKI!!!!!!

HOW CAN YOU SCARE ME LIKE THIS??

REBBBI SAVE ME!!

YANKI  YOUR PARENTS ARE PROBABLY SCARED SICK???

REBBI I NEED YOUR HELP!!

YANKI!! ITS TOO DANGEROUS!

REBBI I NEED YOUR HELP!!

YANKI!! ITS TOO DANGEROUS!

REBBI BE “MOSER NEFESH” FOR ME I HAVE NO-WHERE TO GO!!


YANKI I THINK I AM IN MORE TROUBLE THAN YOU.

REBBI I WILL SAVE YOU.

HOW YANKI??

I WILL.REBBI YOU SAVE ME  I WILL SAVE YOU.

YANKI YOU KNOW I AM DESPERATE..

REBBI TAKE ME IN TO YOUR HOUSE..PLEASE..PLEASE..

YANKI YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, I WILL GET KILLED IF I DO.

REBBI BY WHO?

UMMM UMMM YOUR FATHER!

REBBI I CANT GO HOME TO HIM

EH WHY NOT YANKI?

HE IS A REAL SICKO!! I WENT ON HIS COMPUTER TONITE UCHHHHH REBBI HASHEM HATES ME .. I AM WORSE THAN A GOY!! I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEARN TORAH..MY EYES AND MIND SAW TOO MUCH GARBAGE. IT’S ALL MY FATHERS FAULT.. HIS SILLY LAPTOP..HIS TOY..IT’S LOADED GUN..REBBI HELP ME…I FEEL SOOO HORRIBLE SOO GUILTY..I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO HIM


YANKI ZEESEH YANKI TRUST ME I ‘WANT’ TO HELP BUT…IF YOU COME IN MY HOUSE WE WILL BOTH GET KILLED..AND MAYBE YOUR MOTHER TOO..

OY GEVALDDD REBBI MY MOTHER IS PROBABLY SICK WHERE I AM REBBI PLEASE GIVE AN “EITZAH”

YANKI CALL YOUR MOTHER TO MEET YOU AT THE SHUL NEAR MY HOUSE.

REBBI WHY CAN’T YOU TAKE ME IN

YANKI I..I..I.. JUST CAN’T PLEASE TRUST ME PLEASE TRUST ME .I LOVE YOU AND FEEL FOR YOU. HERE YANKI TAKE MY PHONE AND CALL YOUR MOTHER..

YANKI!! WAIT!!

WHATT REBBI?

CALL THE HOUSE NOT THE CELL!!

WHAT REBBI!! I DIDN’T HEAR YOU..ITS RINGING ALREADY!DONT WORRY!IT'S RINGING.

I don't think I'm gonna be able to sleep tonight!




(thinking how much that 30% could be!  )

gulp....

*whispers franticaly*
hang up, hang up, hang up!!!!!!!!

Don't forget!

He's calling his mother's Cell Phone with the Rabbi's Cell Phone & His Father has the phone.

Harry looks at the phone & who's name is on his wife's caller ID? The Rabbi?!

Oy! Vey!

bardichev

it's good your'e on our side

because those soap operas would be chasing you to be their head writer

Reb b -
Don't understand what's going on here. Have no time to read any of this gibberrish chazeraishahft............................................nu, when is the next installment already?
D ;D v

dov wrote on 02 Nov 2009 21:51:


Ditto ;D

Noorah

      PART 19

Heshy..Heshy..Heshy
The man of so much promise..the delight of his parents..the public speaker..the helpful friend..talented..opinionated..success story..

Oy what the future could have held

Life was so calm...
Until...he lost some money... And made it back rather quickly...oy where those meant to be happy days..

But..everything changed for me..I was no longer "only"his wife he would explain.. I was the image of his success..we needed to project the "correct" image..

Out with the old in with the new..he would ask "don't you love all your new stuff"? I would giggle and say "what was wrong with the way I was when we got engaged married learned in kollel"??


He would say Chani I'm not a little boy any more..ride along with me and you will enjoy life..

But..our kids?? The mixed messages??they he would retort. Will be better off with happy parents ..

Everything he did was always right.Every Rov and authority was always wrong.. 

Then came the late nights the leaving his family high and dry..oh the apology gifts..the clothes..the perfumes..the fling trips..The phoney hellos and cynical goodbyes..

What was gained ?? a wife who shares a name with a Mattel product.a son he didn't raise or know.

Oh what was I to do?
Leave?he would fight for his kids..not that he wanted them..but Heshy Freidstien ...

So I played the part and I raised my son my life my tzaddik to be as normal as possible..endured the shame of being the. "Shiksa" of my family..the hurt the humiliation...

What do I get in return..Heshy is addicted to p*#n great me chani now has new compotition..uh uh games over ...

MOMMY MOMMY!!!

Whaa whaa???

Where am I???

Esti(my 6 year old)
Why you out of bed??

MOMMY WHY ARE YOU ON THE FLOOR?? ARE YOU FEELING SICK??

Esti mameleh go shluffy mommys never get sick!

Chani friedstien if you collapse now you will lose it all

Hey I am talking to myself..ok.. Let's find yanki..let's help heshy..let's live happily ever after..sweet dreams.

First things first
Tell Heshy Yanki is gone..

Let's Roll light cameras ACTION!!!

Wow what a story.

Rebbe, do you live in Mets? They had a rabbi writer before.

                                  PART 20

phone calls

phone calls

why is she bothering me

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!LET ME VENT!!!LET ME BE ALONE WITH MY COMPUTER I NEED TO EASE MY PAIN!!

another phone call

now she is calling the office


LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! I AM UPSET I NEED TO ESCAPE  IN MY COMPUTER WHEN I AM UNDER STRESS I NEED THIS OUTLET I JUST NEED IT NOW I NEED IT!! IT'S NOT GOOD IT'S NOT BAD
NOW I AM IN ACAPE MODE..I NEED HER TO STOP BOTHERING ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH SHE IS GETTING SMART NOW SHE E-MAILING ME

HA HA HA SHE IS SSSSSSOOOOOOOOO DESPERATE I LOVE IT!!!GOOD CHANI SWEAT IT OUT A LITTLE

DEAR HESHY

ITS AN EMERGENCY PLEASE CALL ME!! HESHY I SWEAR IT'S AN EMERGENCY!! HESHY DO NOT IGNORE ME!!
HESHY COME HOME NOW!!

HA HA HA HA HA !!!

SHE IS SO SILLY GET ME HOME WITH 10TH GRADE TACTICS

HA HA HA !!!!

HEY ONE SECOND !! THE JOKE IS ON ME !! HEY SHE IS ON MY COMPUTER !!! HEY HOW DID SHE GET THE PASSWORD!!
HELP!!! I A DIEING!! HELP!! I WAS CAUGHT!!! SHE BUSTED ME!!!! HEYYYYY!!! HOW DID SHE GET THAT PASSWORD!!!
IT MUST OF BEEN THAT LITTLE SNEAK YANKI!! HE MUST OF OPENED MY COMPUTER!!! THEY ARE BOTH DEAD!DEAD! DEAD!!

OH MY GOSH!! THEY KNOW WHO I REALLY AM!!! I AM GONE!!!!  A CAN KILL MYSELF!!!!!   

    UCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

ring ring!! my cell phone again? no! hey it is some one elses ringer!  oh it's chanie's phone.I forgot I had stolen it from her Prada Pocket book...

HEY THE 'SICKO' IS CALLING HER AGAIN.. CHESKY WEINFELD .. OK I MAY BE ADDICTED TO COMPUTERS AND BIG DEAL I AM A REGULAR WORKING PERSON HE IS A "REBBI" AND HE IS CHASING MY WIFE!! AND LOOK HE WAS CAUGHT RED-HANDED AND..HE CAN'T CONTROL HIMSELF.. HEY THIS GUY MAKES ME LOOK GOOD

HE WILL GET IT NOW LET'S ROLL HARRY!!!HA HA HAA

Yikes, this sitcom is going to be classified under "Horror Movies" when it comes out!