173. Write your old ideas

Part of recovery is discarding our old ideas and adapting new ideas along with a whole new design for living. I wrote up the beliefs and ideals that I picked up along the way and have held so dearly for most of my life--they come primarily from breath-mint conmmercials and TV sit-coms. Here are a few of them:

* If I get lucky enough to make eye-contact with the right person (usually happens while crossing a street), I will achieve instant bliss (we'll magically end up in bed together within the next fifteen seconds).

* The goal of life and the only way to be happy is to have as much sex as often as possible with as many people as possible. (And everyone else shares this belief, too).

* If you don't have sex, or if you don't want to have sex, something is seriously wrong with you.

* Sex is the only thing that matters in life.

This next one isn't directly related to sex, but is sure results in a lot of that Restlessness, Irritability, and Discontent which will eventually compel me to act out for relief:
* There's no problem in the world that can't be solved in 90 minutes or less (usually 30 minutes, including three commercial breaks).

Recovery must include letting go of these ideas, and adapting healthy ones.

--Elyah

174. SA and Recovery Audio Recordings
Here's a huge stash (hundreds of recordings) at these two links:
SA Recordings
Daily Reprieve

And I'd like to point out two specific sets of recordings:
175. Back to Basics
This is a recording of four one-hour sessions which covers all twelve steps. It's very straightforward and very practical.

176. Big Book on Audio
This is an audio recording of the Big Book.

--Elyah

Thanks Elya,

We can always count on you for great resources.

Eye.nonymous wrote on 15 Jun 2012 06:29:

that's amazing, K9 doesn't let me on those sites, because they are storing potentially porn images and videos. Cute, ha?

obormottel wrote on 15 Jun 2012 22:32:


That's interesting. I have k9 and although some of the files were blocked, I was still able to download at least 90% of them.

--Elyah

No, it doesn't even let me on the page. Perhaps my wife put some extra boundaries when she set the filter up.
its all good

Blocked for me too. It's in the open image/media search category, which is blocked by default.

Maybe you can get whoever holds your password to temporarily whitelist it just so you can d/l the SA stuff.

Just PM Eye and he'll send them to you. With an anonymous Gmail account you get 5GB (that's right GB) free storage on Google Drive to share files as big as they come.

Blind wrote on 17 Jun 2012 07:50:

Sorry, but these files take up about 6GIG. In order to get the space I need, I'll need 12 volunteers to do join me on DropBox. You'll have to do the following:

1. You have to NOT have DropBox installed on your computer already.
1. Send me a PM with the E-mail address you intend to use for Dropbox.
Then, I'll send you an invitation to join Dropbox.
2. If you accept the invitation AND install Dropbox on your computer (using the same E-mail which received the invitation), we each get free bonus space (500megs).

If I get 12 people to join me in this, I'll have enough extra space to make these files available (I already use DropBox for other purposes, so I can't use the space I've already got for this).

If I don't, I wont.

--Elyah

177. Al-Anon prayer

I cannot control or change my friends or loved ones, so I release them into Your care for Your loving hands to do with as You will. Just keep me loving and free from judging them. If they need changing, God, You'll have to do it; I can't. Just make me willing and ready to be of service to You, to have my shortcomings removed, and to do my best.

---------------------------

One of the most painful aspects of recovery is seeing our own lives improve while yet seeing other people who are so near and or dear to us who could benefit so much from what we have gained. However, they remain either unable or unwilling to follow a similiar path.

All we can do is change ourselves. We cannot change our wives, our parents, our children, our siblings, our friends, or our neighbors. A big part of recovery is being able to accept other people for who they are, and to focus only on cleaning up our own side of the street. Sometimes someone does walk into the doors of recovery, and we help them for a while, but then they leave and slide further and faster downhill. That is the most painful, I think. But, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. Along the road to recovery I think we will find opportunities to help people who need help and want it, and when those opportunities come along we should hope they should be obvious to us. If we need to force anything, we're probably putting our efforts somewhere where they are not welcome.

Also, as radical as this statement may be, it may very well be that the road to recovery you have found is not necessarily the same road that other people need to take.

"Love and tolerance for all is our code." It has to be, otherwise we'll go crazy.

--Elyah

Thank you all for being a part of this thread. Here's the complete summary (I made a link to each section, and to specific resources when a link was available):

ADDITIONAL TOOLS FOR RECOVERY

IMPROVE RELATION WITH SELF

EMERGENCY TOOLS
1. Short prayer, "I'm powerless, please G-d help me!"
2. Move somewhere else. (Get away from the trigger!)
3. Pick up litter.
4. Sing (or hum) a favorite tune. Or listen to music.
5. Call someone from the program or the forum NOW. (Or post)
5. Get to a meeting AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. (Get to the forum)
6. When you're angry: Ask yourself, "What am I ashamed of right now?"

HAVING A PROGRAM
7. Participate in the fellowship of the program.
8. Take the Step Zero questionnaire.
9. Admit complete defeat.
10. Answer the 20 Questions found in the White Book ( pg 8 ).
11. Get a sponsor.
12. Treat your sponsor's suggestions as orders.
13. Work the steps (all 12 of them!).
14. Have a daily program (but not one's own).
15. Read the "Just for Today" card every morning.
16. Live in the solution (and not in the problem).

MEETINGS
17. Don’t lust, and go to meetings.
18. Home group.
19. 90 meetings in 90 days (temporary measure).
20. Start a meeting.
21. Take on a commitment.
22. 5 meetings a week (regular program).
23. Telephone meetings.
24. SA Net.
25. Step 1 meetings.
26. Check meetings.

BASIC SELF CARE
27. Zero tolerance for lust.
28. Avoid all known triggers--people, places, and things.
29. Abstain from all mood-altering chemicals.
30. Avoid emotion-rocking activities.
31. Abstain from sugars and white flour.
32. Write a Pornography-free certificate.
33. Dump sexualized clothing.
34. Know clearly: What is sex with self?
35. Find yourself clean forms of entertainment.
36. TV and Movie abstinence.
37. Ask yourself, "What am I feeling right now?"
38. Early to bed, early to rise...
H.A.L.T. (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired)
39. Keep phone beside bed.
40. International phone numbers.
41. Healthy food
42. Moderate exercise
43. Accountability or filtration software

INTENSE EGO DEFLATION
44. Get out of self
45. Practice rigorous honesty
46. Talk in detail to sponsor
47. What am I not telling my sponsor?
48. Over my dead body
49. Am I done with lust?
50. Am I in or out of SA (GYE)?
51. Openness
52. Ask for feedback
53. Ask for reality checks
54. Willingness
55. Do what I don’t want to do
56. Clean the toilet
57. Pray out loud
58. Litany of Humility

ON THE STREET
59. Take a different road to avoid triggers.
60. The SA (or GYE) salute.
61. Custody of the eyes.
62. Paving stones and rooftops.
63. Flick your eyes to the top left.
64. Shake your head.
65. Snap the elastic band.
66. Don't breath through your nose.
67. "G-d, may I find in You what I'm looking for in that woman (etc.)"
68. "G-d, take away my lust. I pray for her (etc.)."
69. "G-d, please take away this image (or fantasy)"
70. Bookend risky situations.

DECISION MAKING
71. What's my next right action?
72. Rushing is not sober.
73. What would my sponsor do?
74. What would my sponsor say?
75. Take an action of love.
76. If I can't reach my sponsor, the answer is "no."
77. If in doubt, leave it out.
78. Always have a plan, and use it.

GOOD ATTITUDES
79. Abstinence from lust is the most important thing in my life without exception.
80. All hits are toxic; I refuse them.
81. I won't act out--no matter what.
82. It's none of my business.
83. Who I am is none of my business.
84. Bring reality into situations.
85. No one is flirting with me.
86. No one is lusting after me.
87. This is not a sexual situation.
88. Only a sick person would respond to my lustful advances.
89. Sex is only a small part of any real relationship.
90. Clean and Sober.
91. Attitude of gratitude.
92. Easy does it.
93. One day at a time.
94. Keep it simple.
95. This too, shall pass.
96. Three thinks is the limit.
97. Let go and let G-d.
98. First things first.
99. Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.

THINGS TO REMEMBER
100. The pain and the loss.
101. My addict never sleeps.
102. My addict lies.
103. I am not smarter than my addict.
104. Run the movie through to the end.
105. The joy of recovery.
106. If I take an action, my feelings will follow.
107. Keep learning about recovery.

IMPROVE RELATION WITH G-D

SURRENDER, PRAYER, AND MEDITATION
108. Surrender in every moment
109. Meditate on the Serenity Prayer
110. Select 12-step prayers
111. Daily quiet time
112. Invite G-d in
113. G-d’s will discernment tool
114. Envision the presence of G-d
115. Examine old ideas about G-d
116. Came… Came to… Came to believe

MAINTAIN A FIT SPIRITUAL CONDITION
117. Pray every morning and every evening
118. Read SA and AA literature
119. Write fear lists
120. Maintain a gratitude list
121. Restart your day anytime with the Serenity Prayer
122. Daily sobriety renewal
123. Contact your sponsor regularly
124. Take Good Orderly Directions
125. Make a written 10th step
126. Write about what’s bothering you

ENLARGE ONE'S SPIRITUAL LIFE
127. Attend a religious service at least once a week
128. Move from fear to love
129. Listen to the Joe and Charlie AA workshop
130. Keep a diary
131. Read spiritual literature

IMPROVE RELATIONS WITH OTHERS

FORGIVENESS AND AMENDS
132. Forgive them all (step 8.5)
133. "I was wrong when..."
134. Who do I least want to meet today?
135. Traffic Sobriety.
136. Do whatever your sponsee refuses to do.
137. Rescuer, Victim, Abuser
138. Pray together

FRIENDSHIPS
139. Work with another SA (or GYE person)
140. Stick with the winners
141. Stay in the present
142. What you think and what you feel and what you do...
143. Put the welfare of others first

SERVICE
144. How are you?
145. How can I be of service?
146. Always say "yes" to SA (or GYE) requests
147. Take on a service commitment
148. Sponsor others
149. Buddy list
150. Rotate out in good time

CARRYING THE MESSAGE
151. Call two newcomers every day
152. Share your experience, strength, and hope
153. Give your sobriety date
154. Quit preaching - tell them about the illness
155. Find your own Dr. Bob
156. Laugh

MISCELLANEOUS
157. Twelve steps to insanity
158. The pre-recovery promises
159. Hang out with your own gender
160. Write yourself a letter (and reply)
161. Slogans of recovery
162. Prayer: G-d, please help me have a positive sobriety.
163. Prayer: G-d, please help me see straight.
164. Increase your awareness of your perceptions and motives.
165. Talk, feel, trust
166. The Ramban's letter
167. Torah
168. Is this good for my recovery or not?
169. Whatever I place my recovery in front of will flourish; whatever I place in front of my recovery won't.
170. Humility, Fearlessness, Honesty
171. Watch out for RID (Restlessness, Irritability, Discontent).
172. BYOB (Bring Your Own Book)
173. Write your old ideas
174. SA and recovery audio recordings
175. Back to Basics
176. Big Book on Audio
177. Al-Anon prayer

Hope to see you again soon in another thread.

Also, with your help, I hope to be able to provide the SA audio recordings through a different link.

--Elyah

Elyah
This is something else. Yasher koichacho!
I have no doubt that if I and everyone else follow this action plan, we'll stay sober for a very long time.
Mottel

I managed to put some of the files in DropBox so far (but I can't add much more without your help).

Try these links and let me know if you can access them (probably best to SAVE TARGET AS):

(I tried to shrink the files, but couldn't manage without the quality getting really bad).

Best of SA Audio

Back to Basics

--Elyah

WOW ELYA !!!
I think that post with the list belongs in the GYE Hall of Fame!