Dear forum,

I am back from camp and ready to make a clean start.  In two months over the summer I fell one time.  I have been back a week from camp and just moments ago I had my first fall of the year so I decided to post again.  From here on out until next summer I am beginning my journey again and this time I have GYE from the beginning of the year to help me have a great year.  So, here I go again starting my first day of the fight for year #10 of astur*ting and desperately trying to stop!

TrueRatzon!

The language we use both for ourselves and others is critically important in
sending messages to our subconscious.  When you say you had your first
fall of the year it makes it sound like you're expecting more and this is
just a normal thing that happens because you're back from camp.  At
camp you were busy, distracted in another way.  You get home and
you get distracted another way.

The word "try" is a weak word also.  It's like "I might."  Firstly
when you try really hard you're saying you're in control and that's
the problem in a nutshell.  You need others to help you and be there
for you when you're sober and when you're not.

This has nothing to do with camp or falling.  It has to do with
filling up something lacking in your soul by tuning out emotionally
and spiritually.  When you figure out what is causing this you
will be able to heal.  Until that time, wishin' and hopin' will get
you nowhere.

I'm proud of your 2 month sobriety, don't get me wrong. I'm simply
pointing out what subconsciously you're already telling yourself,
setting yourself up to fall again, maybe.  In live groups this is
where you get help, or on the phone groups where you can
realize others are struggling and hear how they are dealing with it.

Elya