Rabboisai,
I am posting here because I have a technique that works for me. I have been holding back to tell you about it until I was sure it worked and I have been trialing it for a couple of weeks now and I believe it does for me, so I just had to share it with you.
For all I know, it may already be something many of you do, but in case it is not, I believe it will appeal and give you success in the Reshus Harabbim, particularly if you are not a great fan of walking with your eyes fixed on the ground - I know some people are afraid this makes them look 'wierd' others are afraid of bumping into lampposts.
As I have said, I do not know if this technique is famous, or if I have invented it, so I am giving it a name for now - "Seeing without looking"!!
The technique works like this:
When you have to walk down a crowded street (say to get to or from a train station) and you know it is inevitable that there will be a lot of pritzus on show. Fix your eyes into the middle distance on an inanimate object, say a tree, a tall building etc. Focus all your eye-concentration on that object (perhaps whilst keeping your mind active with humming a song, reciting mishnayos Ba'al Peh or saying a Kapitel Tehillim) as you walk. If you do it right, you will notice that although you will be 'aware' of the people that you walk past, or who walk towards you, being there; but your mind will not allow you to focus on the detail - so you should not be able to tell what they look like, let alone end up staring at them. I have managed to get it to the point that on most occasions, I am not even aware if it is a man or womna that I have just walked past.
Something importnat to note. I think this is a rather more advanced technique, because you have to really want to not look for it to work. Intially, it will be very tempting. You will see things out of the corner of your eyes that may prompt and tempt you to look at what you might have missed, but as you learn to focus on this faraway object, you will find that you are able to blur the edges of your vision so that you see nothing 'out of the corner of your eyes'.
It takes a little practice, but it works.
It also allows you to walk around with your head held high, but still protect your eyes.
This is important to me, because although I appreciate the importance of shmiras einayim and would be prepared to do anything to safeguard myself (almost), I found that every time I walked down a road with my eyes fixed on the floor, it started me thinking about the reason why I 'needed' to do this. It got me onto a negative thought process, feeling bad with myself for having been so impure, moving on to depression and thinking H" does not love me and I need punishing for what I have done.
I know, I know, this is not the way to think and the Rabbanim speak of walking with Koima Zekufa as being the 'right way'. Walking to haughtily is not the aim ultimately, but for right now, I need to be able to 'walk tall' to feel good about myself and not be constantly reminded that I have been a lustful glutton.
Listen, these are just my ideas. I don't pretend to be the greatest Maven in these matters and please, please Guard, or anyone else who knows better than me who feels that I am way off the mark with this suggestion, feel free to correct me and even remove this post, but I have found it to be useful, so please let me know your thoughts, OK?
