MAZAL TOV! 

We used to just nod a hello (if lucky), but through this site, it turned into brotherly hugs (virtual and live). Even when things are tough, you don't relent and make sure to call... I have no words to thank you!


כן ירבה וכן יפרוץ, may you be zoche to go מעלה ומעלה על במתי הקדושה והטהרה! You're always an inspiration!

- Yiftach'l 

A huge, huge Mazel Tov to my dear friend!!

500 is HUGE!! But BH having the zechus to really get to know you allows me to attest that what you have accomplished in these 500 days is nothing short of GADLUS! You are huge!!! You are my inspiration for how incredible a person can be when he becomes lust free!!

This Friday I want you to count the clean days of all the people you have helped!! Let us know the number. I'll take the over of 10k!

On behalf of all of your GYE talmidim, THANK YOU and WE LOVE YOU!!

באהבה רבה,
מנוחת הנפש

amevakesh wrote on 10 Nov 2024 16:25:

Dear amevakesh,

With Chanukah just a few hours away from us: How are you doing?

Heeling wrote on 25 Dec 2024 15:45:

Thank you so much for holding me accountable. It was perfect for almost 3 weeks. Then I had a weekend off from work, and I couldn't control my curiosity to check the news. Since then, I was negligent in the news part of the קבלה. However, it still  worked regarding sports and radio, which I've managed for the most part to avoid. The biggest part that it helped me, was that I love watching videos on Youtube of Democrat meltdowns, or being bested by conservative showhosts (anyone relate?), which is something that can quickly spiral in the wrong direction. This is the reason, I originally made the commitment, and for that I was pretty good. I probably should write בלי נדר next time. Either way, it wasn’t a wasted קבלה, because it definitely did curb the urges, and halted the slide I was going through at the time. 

In Heeling's words,

​Love you all!

amevakesh wrote on 25 Dec 2024 17:11:

So I owe you something....

R' amevakesh my friend, I second the motion that "it wasn’t a wasted קבלה", as thanks to your decision to post about it here, I too (as you know) was מקבל to lay off YouTube (AKA The Big Red Monster) for a while, and was BH (mostly) successful! So a big יישר כח!!

Another מבקש of life,
iwantlife

Heeling wrote on 25 Dec 2024 17:14:

Totally forgot about that! Wow! I'm actually coming to your hometown in a few weeks, would love to celebrate together. Problem is, I'm coming with the WW, so I don't think that I'm gonna have much time to chill with the boys. But, I will take a raincheck.

amevakesh wrote on 25 Dec 2024 17:11:

I am with you on that. I also enjoy the news and election season.
Having youtube blocked by the filter was one of the smartest things I ever did.
In the vaad we call youtube "soft porn". I used to think it was a yellow circle. Now I believe  it is a red circle.
There is so much "suggested" content there that can really throw me off.

 I am also trying to stop watch clips from "kosher" sites. Very often it is not so kosher at all!

As I was saying על הניסים last night, I was struck by the following question. What exactly are we thanking ‘ה for when we say על המלחמות? It can’t be referring to fact that we were victorious in the wars, because that’s על התשועות - the salvation. ווייסט אויס that we’re thanking Him for the war itself. Why in the world? Wouldn’t we have been better off without the war?

Perhaps we can answer based on a Vort from the Dubno Magid. He explains the פסוק in 'ישעי that says שׂוֹשׂ אָשִׂישׂ בַּה' תָּגֵל נַפְשִׁי בֵּאלֹהַי כִּי הִלְבִּישַׁנִי בִּגְדֵי יֶשַׁע מְעִיל צְדָקָה יְעָטָנִי כֶּחָתָן יְכַהֵן פְּאֵר וְכַכַּלָּה תַּעְדֶּה כֵלֶיהָ. - I will rejoice with Hashem, my soul will exult with my G-d, for He has clothed me in cloths of salvation, in a robe of righteousness He has cloaked me.  Like a חתן exulting himself with a crown, and like a כלה adorned with jewelry.

Imagine attending a wedding, where a delectable shmorgasboard of food is spread out, a delight to the eyes and palate, beautiful decor, rocking music pumping through the most sophisticated of sound systems. Scores of young and energetic Bachurim dancing in sync to the latest tunes, kicking up a storm, everyone looks so happy. At the center of it all, are the חתן and כלה looking ecstatic beyond words. Someone goes over to the חתן and asks him, “Why do you look so happy”.  He responds, “Look at the beautiful suit and hat that I got, look at my tie and shoes, wouldn’t you be this happy if you had these?” He asks the כלה the same question, only to receive the same response. “Don’t you see my pretty white gown?” Obviously, something is very off. Why then does the the נביא describe his joy by comparing it to the joy of the fancy clothing worn by a חתן וכלה?

זאגט די דובנה, the ישועה is only a היכי תימצא to the true שמחה, which is the experience of closeness to 'ה that comes as a result of the ישועה. The clothing that’s worn by a wedding are only the props for the real joy that the new couple is about to embark on a meaningful journey that will bring them to experience a deep and powerful relationship with  each other. Same with the ישועה, as the פסוק puts it so exquisitely, they’re merely the בגדי ישע that act as props to the inner joy of שוש אשיש בה' תגל נפשׁי באלהי. Additional sources for this idea ע"ע אור החיים בראשית י"ב, ז ומלבי"ם תהילים ס"ג, ד.

Accordingly, when we praise 'ה, the main reason we thank him is not for the clothing, rather for the תחלית - our relationship with Him. If the purpose of the הודעה is to thank for the ישועה as an end onto itself, then the question above would be justified. We would be far better off not having the war nor the need for a ישועה. However, if the reason we rejoice and praise 'ה, is for the deep relationship we have with Him as a result of the ישועה, then perhaps it was worth it to go through the hardship of war in order to experience salvation.

Perhaps we can take it one step further. During the war itself, when the odds were stacked against us, with our backs against the wall, caught between a rock and a hard place, the extreme closeness that the חשמונאים felt to because of their vulnerability, allowed a certain dimension of the relationship to be brought out. There’s a certain level of connectivity and depth that can only be brought out דוקא through pain and difficulty. That alone is cause for celebration. Hence when we thank Him for the תשועות and the מלחמות, we’re really thanking Him, that our relationship isn’t limited to the ימי אהבה when we feel His presence, it transcends the good times and the bad, the light, the dark ימי שנאה times as well.

I can’t resist שטעלינג צו this Vort to the Inyan of קדושה. We must realize that those of us that are privileged to be on this site, have an obligation to thank Him, not only when we are victorious, but also for the ability to put up a fight even if we’re not so successful. The fight itself brings us closer, and deepens our relationship with Him, and that is worthy of celebration - לחיים

א פרייליכען זאת חנוכה!

Beautiful Vort! Thank you.
I would just say that the yesod you so eloquently lay out is really a Rabainu Yona in Brachos on the gemara (31a) Asur L'adam shayimale schok piv baoilam ho'za.
But you bring out more to our inyan here on GYE.
Yashar Koach!

I heard a different p'shat over chanuka about this. I think it was bsheim r' elya boruch. He said that until the chashmonaim came around the yevanim were having an incredible influence over k'lal yisroel. Klal yisroels madreigos in ruchniyus were getting lower and lower and no one was doing anything about it. We say ועל המלחמות to remember the fight that the chasmonaim started against the yevanim and against their way of life. The milchama was the beginning of a new era for klal yisroel where there was now klal yisroel against the yevanim.

This vort made me think of GYE right away. Until GYE came around P and M was slowly taking over and destroying tremendous chalakim of klal yisroel and there was no one fighting. We have so much to thank Hashem for - ועל המלחמות, thank you for helping us create a fight against the heintege yevanim.

Over the past few weeks, a number of my dear friends have lost significant streaks. Some people that I’m not personally acquainted with, have lost very impressive steaks as well. The pain of something so precious that gets broken, after so much effort was put in, is excruciating for many. It take herculean strength, to get back up and get right back in to it. I’m always amazed at the fortitude and grit displayed by some of our fighters, that have what it takes, to get right back up and not give in to the attitude that “once I’ve fallen, I might as well give in some to more for the next day or two, until I get back up again”. The temptation to lick one’s wounds and stew in misery for some time after a fall, is great indeed, and those that have the strength to resist it are unsung heroes. They will never get the credit for this particular effort, no visible recognition for it on this sight, yet so many continue to persevere and fight on, getting right back up, despite the fact that right next to their username, all they now have to show for their efforts is a very modest streak. What used to be a profile that proudly displayed a streak in the hundreds or even thousands, has now been replaced by a streak that’s in the single or double digits. (Please don’t take this as belittling any streak of any amount of days, I’m just trying to depict the feelings some of them are going through.)

I was recently speaking to dear friend that spent many years in SA. He told me that one of the main reasons SA didn’t work for him, was that the sobriety of each individual was based solely on the amount of time that they were clean. He said that when he fell after being clean for 2 full years, the feeling that the guy next to him, who was clean for 2 weeks, was considered ahead of him in his journey, was too much for him to bear.

It goes without saying that any perception that one’s value is based on ones streak is flawed. As has been written many times on these forums, a streak is in no way an identity. It’s no more that a tool that can be used to motivate oneself, and perhaps give Chizzuk to others, to show them that it can be done.(It’s been called a trophy by some, although I don’t think I agree to this aspect.) There are so many details that contribute to one’s identity as a fighter on these forums, most of them are intangible, and can’t be documented. The intensity of different נסיונות, in different scenarios, to people that have different temperaments is impossible to measure. Only the יודע תעלומות can measure the true value of every fighter here or anywhere else in the world. More important then being clean, is fighting to be clean. (Yes, you gotta fight smart, with guidance from those that are more experienced, but the main thing is the fight itself.)

Based on the above, I’d like to make a suggestion. The profiles that accompany each username are automatically looked at one’s identity here on GYE. The amount of posts, the streak, what level boarder he is, (the karma - although I have a strong opinion on that as well), are all meant to be the face of the user to the other people that use this site. Therefore, perhaps it should emphasize the length of the fight more than the length of the time he’s been clean. I don’t think that the clean streak should be dropped completely, but the primary focus should be on the length of the fight. I’m aware that there is a place where you can read about one’s accumulative days, but to me, this should be front and center - in  his profile, not something that has to be looked for.

How to do it, would be tricky though. Perhaps, if the display next to one’s name would display the amount of days he’s been fighting, and the percentage of them that he’s been clean. For example, if someone was clean for 150 days, then he fell once, got up, went 180 days fell again then is ready to start, his profile would read “Streak 332, percentage clean - 99.39%” , meaning he was clean for 330 out of 332 days. This would also help someone who has fallen, to get back up quicker, because then there would be a difference to his percentage. If he falls once, he would go down to 99.97%, but if he falls twice, he’ll go down to 99.85%. 

Additionally, suppose someone struggled in the beginning, was constantly falling, and then started experiencing some success, he would be given the option of cutting out that part of the struggle. For example, let’s say he was only successful 50% of the time for the first 100 days on the site, then he spoke to someone, or something else gave him the tools to start an extended streak of 100 clean days, he can have the option of his profile displaying only the last hundred days. Instead of reading 75% on 200 days, it would read 100% or 99% of his most recent successes. I apologize for all the technicalities, but if we can save people from feeling hurt when they fall, it’s worth it. 

If you share this opinion, and have different idea that can better address this issue, please share it. This is just the opinion and solution of one guy here on the forums. Perhaps if others here share my view, the good people that run this holy site will implement some type of change that will help out the soldiers that are so valiantly fighting. 

Beautiful!

eerie wrote on 17 Jan 2025 02:56:

I agree.

You have my vote!! Great idea!! Call the GYE office and get to work implementing it!!