Shalom u’Vrachah



Please note: 

I may update this from time to time with more tips, so please feel free to look back every now and again. 

I am by no means an expert on these things, not by a long shot, but I wanted to post these methods that have helped me to stay away from looking at and "acting" upon inappropriate things in the hope that they may help others as well.

That said, here are some of the things that have helped me;



1.     When using the restroom, taking a shower, changing clothes, or doing anything else that requires the lower area to be uncovered for any period of time, I find it helpful to not look at that area. For me, I close my eyes, or simply look at other places (walls, ceiling, etc.). 

If you have difficulty specifically when in the shower, a Rebbe once suggested to me the following; 

If you are working on a project or have something at work that you are in the middle of, whenever thoughts of an inappropriate nature arise, try to divert these thoughts and instead think about the project you are working on (for me, I am writing a few books, so I sometimes think about that, or I think about an issue that I am having with regard to a specific project I am working on). 

If doing that does not help, then try postponing acting on the urge until you have completed shampooing your hair. If you succeed there, try postponing acting on the urge until you have finished washing your upper body. Keep trying to postpone the urge as long as you can, and it should gradually diminish. 

This is what has helped me. 

A slight note: 

If possible (i.e. if you can keep your balance while washing yourself), while taking a shower, try to keep your eyes closed as this may help prevent you from seeing that area. If absolutely necessary, try opening your eyes to tiny slits - just enough to see what you need (e.g. to find the soap, get a towel, etc.). If you can, even keeping your eyes closed until you have gotten both the upper and lower parts of the body covered seems to work the best (i.e. after getting both shirt and pants on). 



2.     With the exception of the shower, I find that it is helpful to not touch the lower area at all. 

If one has difficulty when using the restroom while standing, they can use a piece of toilet paper instead of touching directly. The same goes for sitting down. 

If one must put medication there, use disposable gloves, and wash the hands immediately after throwing the gloves away. 



3.     I have found it exceptionally helpful (at the suggestion of 2 separate Rebbeim) to study the laws of Shmiras HaLoshon on a daily basis. 

I find that the easiest way to do this is to subscribe to the emails on the 2 Daily Lessons and the Q & A session from the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation. 

It takes about a total of 10 minutes to go through all 3 emails. 

To sign up for these emails, go here: cchf.global/individual/email/?#signup_form 

If you prefer WhatsApp (though not the same content as the emails), go here: cchf.global/individual/whatsapp/?#singup_form 

If you are interested in more, there are other options - most of them free - and these can be accessed by going to the top of the page on the Chofetz Chaim website and going to either the "Programs" or "Daily Learning" sections.

(Please Note: I am not affiliated in any way with the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation with the exception that I also receive and study the daily emails and WhatsApp messages from them, and that these lessons have helped me in my daily life.) 



4.     At the suggestion of another Rebbe, I have also started going over and memorizing the first 2 paragraphs of chapter 41 in the Tanya and going over them each day right after Shachris. 

It takes all of 5 minutes to read, and if you want to spend more time on it, or memorize more, all the better!



5.     If one watches animated or cartoon-like shows or movies such as anime (I have found anime to be the most problematic for me) and/or CGI (looks more real than drawn cartoon-type animation, but still easily recognizable as not real), reducing watching these shows/movies a little at first and then gradually more and more until one does not watch them any more helps a lot as well. 

In my own personal experience, I have found that the less I watch these shows, the less urges I have. 

If you still feel the need to watch something, the best option is to try and find Torah videos to watch, but if you can't do that, try watching things like shows on nature or how things are made. If you have access to YouTube, there are plenty of shows like that on there that are completely free.



6.     If one does not do this already, I have also found that putting on Tzitzis & Tefillin helps as well. As it is known, keeping one Mitzvah will lead to the keeping of other Mitzvos. 



7.     Try reciting TIkunei HaZohar # 48 (Tikkun HaBris) each morning after Shacharis. See here for a PDF of it in Hebrew: dailyzohar.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Tikkun-48-2.pdf (also attached to this post if you are unable to access the link, courtesy of DailyZohar.com) 

I have also attached a transliterated (Aramaic to English) copy of Tikunei HaBris. 

In addition to helping prevent one's thoughts from wandering to improper things, it also helps with success in business dealings, helps to correct anything that has already been done with regards to looking at or acting upon inappropriate things, protection from negative forces (Mazikin), and more. 

Lately, I have found that the recitation of this Tikkun has helped immensely with both curbing desires as well as banishing inappropriate thoughts. 



8.      This is probably the best one to start with - Recite the full Krias Shema Al HaMitah each night and do a Cheshbon HaNefesh (do this by thinking what Aveiros one has committed each day and making oneself a list of what one has done and needs to rectify it, either between man and Hashem e.g. one looked at something they shouldn't, thought something they shouldn't, or between man and his fellow - e.g. one spoke angrily to a family member and should ask their forgiveness for speaking that way and hurting them, taking something without permission, etc.). This helps to rectify things that have already been done. 

For more information on both this and on the Tikun HaBris (Tikunei HaZohar # 48), see this 3-part speech by Rabbi Anava here (as the links were not working before, I have unlinked the text. To watch the videos, copy the link and paste into a new web browser window or tab):

Part 1: youtube.com/watch?v=P-ugYAL5jLc

Part 2: youtube.com/watch?v=U1U4IxrMhrg

Part 3: youtube.com/watch?v=toWgHEvlkyk

Though I am not sure when I will get to it, Bli Neder I will try and upload these 3 videos to another website if you are unable to access YouTube. 



9.      Say Tikkun HaKlali every Friday and everyYom Kippur Katan. This helps to rectify the Avairohs that have been done. 



10.    Say Shir HaShirim every Friday before or after Minchah (depending on your Nusach, and it is already part of most Sefardi Siddurim). This also helps to rectify most Aveiros committed Bein Adom l'Makom (between man and Hashem, such as things like looking at or thinking about inappropriate things, though the acting upon them needs more than this to rectify it). 

For more information on this and Tikkun HaKlali, see the videos by Rabbi Anava that I posted above. 

In fact, I highly recommend browsing through the many videos by Rabbi Anava, they are all very interesting. Some of them are in Hebrew, though most are in English, and some have Spanish subtitles. 



While I cannot say what will or will not help anyone else, for me, the combination of these things has helped immensely.

I have gone from looking at and doing inappropriate things twice a day or more, to once or twice a week, then once or twice every few weeks, then around once a month, and so on.

Granted, I do have periods of time where I slip, but that is the way that Hashem made us - imperfect humans who strive for perfection in this world as the Torah requires of us.

With Hashem's help, I give this Brachah to all those who decide to follow one or more of these things;

In doing all the above - even if only starting with one thing and working toward doing more - may Hashem give you an extra amount of help for simply trying, and through the fulfillment of the above suggestions, may Hashem grant you many more Brachos, among them, exceptional Sholom Bayis & Happiness in your lives, Wonderful Health, and immense success in your work and business dealings.

May we all be Zocher to soon experience the 3rd and Final Geulah, The Arrival of Moshiach, and the Rebuilding of the 3rd and Final Bais HaMikdash and merit to greet the Shechinah and have it dwell with us all once again in Yerushalyim Habenuyah!

thank you, good stuff