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If you've made progress - thank G-d, double your merit by inspiring others as well! Post the tips and advice that worked best for you in your journey to sobriety or tell us about recommendations you heard from others that work.
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TOPIC: Trying to change the middah 256 Views
Trying to change the middah 08 May 2023 21:38 #395476
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Been awhile since I posted anything here. Mostly because it's just been the same struggle
 But recently I've been trying something new and I feel like I've been making some progress. Basically I was learning Shemonah Perakim of the Rambam, and it hit me that his advice might be very effective for this issue. Basically, he says to go to the opposite extreme of the middah you are struggling with in order to correct it. I think my p & m issues primarily come from a desire for pleasure, so I've been avoiding normal pleasures. I tried not to go too nuts, but I went on a healthy diet and am taking colder(er) showers. I think it's working alot better than I thought it would. Anyone has any experience or insights in this? I actually went ahead and wrote a brief summary on shemonah perakim focused in on shemiras einayim. I'd love to hear what you guys think of it.
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We are not the same people we once were. We are not so locked into our urges that we have no choice. We can choose to give in or choose to win this battle today. We do not want to give in, the pleasure of giving in is false.
With Hashem on our side our victory is inevitable; the only way we can lose is by giving up on playing the game. |
Re: Trying to change the middah 09 May 2023 00:30 #395489
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Re: Trying to change the middah 09 May 2023 23:29 #395518
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Re: Trying to change the middah 10 May 2023 19:59 #395537
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We are not the same people we once were. We are not so locked into our urges that we have no choice. We can choose to give in or choose to win this battle today. We do not want to give in, the pleasure of giving in is false.
With Hashem on our side our victory is inevitable; the only way we can lose is by giving up on playing the game. |
Re: Trying to change the middah 10 May 2023 20:44 #395541
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Chooseurname wrote on 08 May 2023 21:38:
Been awhile since I posted anything here. Mostly because it's just been the same struggle But recently I've been trying something new and I feel like I've been making some progress. Basically I was learning Shemonah Perakim of the Rambam, and it hit me that his advice might be very effective for this issue. Basically, he says to go to the opposite extreme of the middah you are struggling with in order to correct it. I think my p & m issues primarily come from a desire for pleasure, so I've been avoiding normal pleasures. I tried not to go too nuts, but I went on a healthy diet and am taking colder(er) showers. I think it's working alot better than I thought it would. Anyone has any experience or insights in this? I actually went ahead and wrote a brief summary on shemonah perakim focused in on shemiras einayim. I'd love to hear what you guys think of it. I like the concept. In moderation and done properly. What you are doing is training your mind that it's ok to crave or desire a pleasure yet not indulge. I am familiar with this concept in regard to anxiety and the like. When a person needs everything to be 100% perfect all the time it can lead to issues. By training ourselves to accept a feeling of uncomfortability, even with benign ones, without a response (like not wearing your yarmulka exactly how it's comfortable etc.) it can help to build up the ability not to respond to even greater uncomfortable feelings. Another way it can be helping, is by keeping the battle constantly on your mind. Doing something to help, even indirectly, keeps you vigilant and may help prevent situations where had you been complacent would have fallen. Keep shteiging! |
Re: Trying to change the middah 10 May 2023 20:53 #395546
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Chooseurname wrote on 10 May 2023 19:59:
Definitely can be taken to some weird extremes. But if you read the pdf I think there are some very basic and helpful principles that come out. Also, I would hesitate to call a sefer of the Rambam "nuts." He didn’t say anything of the sort. The chat over here is about cold showers, so let’s all chill together 
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