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Does the pleasure even come close?
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If you've made progress - thank G-d, double your merit by inspiring others as well! Post the tips and advice that worked best for you in your journey to sobriety or tell us about recommendations you heard from others that work.
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TOPIC: Does the pleasure even come close? 1355 Views

Re: Does the pleasure even come close? 23 Dec 2022 03:50 #389942

  • funges
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first of all, thank you for giving me this prospective, i hope it will help me, but one thing that it does not help is the addiction, because sometimes this is a big part of it, and you dont have to like a addiction, you just have to be addicted..

Re: Does the pleasure even come close? 23 Dec 2022 04:09 #389944

The only thing that has seriously worked for me is realizing that if I want to succeed in this journey I must step out of the battle. Which is to Stop the thought in its place and not fantasize at all. Learn to manage your thoughts. like some others related once you’ve started thinking about lustful activity it’s very hard to then convince yourself that your fantasizing is mistaken. 
“Distancing and removing triggers is only bringing the door closer..Changing the insides and our nature is the key to get in.” 

“Human connection can help every sort of struggle” 

If anyone would like to reach me I’d love to help out! 
anonymouslyhappy111@gmail.com

Break free the easy way using the self-talk method!
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain--Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Check out this thread with packed Insight for every person at every stage! 
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/376994-%E2%80%9CShtark%E2%80%9D-insight-that-may-make-you-%E2%80%9Cemotional%E2%80%9D-%29

Re: Does the pleasure even come close? 23 Dec 2022 14:57 #389961

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Shtarkandemotional wrote on 23 Dec 2022 04:09:
The only thing that has seriously worked for me is realizing that if I want to succeed in this journey I must step out of the battle. Which is to Stop the thought in its place and not fantasize at all. Learn to manage your thoughts. like some others related once you’ve started thinking about lustful activity it’s very hard to then convince yourself that your fantasizing is mistaken. 

This is another reason why it's so important to have an accountability partner. Once you're in the mud, your thinking process get's fogged by the fantasies. Your partner or Mentor can help you sort out your thoughts as to what's real and what's fake. 
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Does the pleasure even come close? 24 Feb 2023 15:23 #392626

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Thank you for saying that, I feel similarly. That is why I, for a cognitive approach to work it has to be used way before the urge comes up, to kind of get used to the idea that it doesn't really make sense etc. Then when the urge comes, ideally we are a bit more prepared. 
"It is not our abilities that show who we truly are, it is our choices.” ---- Albus Dumbeldore (as per Chris Columbus)

Re: Does the pleasure even come close? 27 Jun 2023 04:58 #398099

The Gemara talks about how for every thing that we are not allowed to to there is something that has the same pleasure to do that is permitted for pig , there is certain type of fist that tastes the same and for forbidden women the Gemara says that your wife is the same thing so next time the yatzer harah comes over to you telling you that it’s so good, tell him that it isn’t any better when you do it in a forbidden manner. In judaism there is nothing that is bad, rather for everything there is a time and place so all you have to work on is having a bit of patience!

Re: Does the pleasure even come close? 27 Jun 2023 08:17 #398103

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Does this factor in the added pleasure of "mayim genuvim yimtaku"?

Re: Does the pleasure even come close? 27 Jun 2023 20:06 #398130

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justi wrote on 27 Jun 2023 08:17:
Does this factor in the added pleasure of "mayim genuvim yimtaku"?

I think there are ראיות from the Gemora that it doesn't. 
But the pleasure of Mayim genuvim is to a large degree fantasy - and leads one down a rabbit hole....
On the Tzad Hatov there is the unmatched satisfaction of not needing to deal with the heartache and agony of אוי לי מיוצרי אוי לי מיצרי  
Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com
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