Hello GYE friends,

I hope I'm writing in the right forum; it is my first post. (English is not my first language, I will try my best)

I'm still a newbie on this amazing - straight from hashem - website, and I believe the information presented here are priceless.

As I’m climbing one day ate a time, and reading, listening to what ever I can, to really understand how my brain is functioning and to change my way of perception, I found today something that might be a life changer for myself, and maybe as well for others, so let me share.

 In the past 17 days I worked very hard on guarding my eyes not to gaze on any other woman besides my wife, and B”h I had a lot of success and I feel like a new person, I feel much closer to my wife and believe I’m a much better husband and father since then as well, but I still felt a certain feeling inside of me  at certain times during the day, a the kind of feeling that could eventually get me to fall, but I didn’t know how to identify it, and how to proceed in helping my self cure it, but today I came across the eBook called “The Science of Habit Change”, it explains the habit loop, dividing the steps of a habit in to three steps, 1- Cue (trigger), 2- Routine, 3- Reward, and it goes on to explain that once you identify the loop, you have to change the Routine to a new one, a routine that will give you the same Reward as your old one, and by doing some you can much easier change an addictive behavior ect. So, for me I found that my cue is a lack of energy, and this will get me to masturbate (or watch porn and then masturbate) and my reward would be energy. So, I figured that exercise, or an energy drink will give me the same result, so as I got triggered, I jogged for 10 minutes and did some pull ups, as I finished, I felt the reward and the Cue evaporated.

Amazing first post! Thank you

If I may add, when a person stops acting on his cues, the brain begins to disassociate these triggers, and they become weaker. This is because of neuroplasticity, in which neural pathways are constantly being formed and reorganized in the brain. Just as repeated P&M use creates neural pathways (bundling cues together with unhealthy behaviors), abstaining from P&M when confronted with cues causes these unhealthy pathways to fade away.
You can create new neural pathways by choosing healthier behaviors when cued (like exercising or calling a friend when stressed), which bundles these cues with healthier behaviors. Over time, these new, healthier responses become easier and more automatic. 

Stay Strong!!

Thank you!

You are right. Just to add, even after applying new habits, the old once will always be there, but will be pushed to the back end of the brain.

Welcome TF thanks for a beautiful post.

TF wrote on 24 Jun 2021 19:20:

Youre definitely right.
and thats what were here for, to keep ourselves aware and make sure it stays in the back of the brain.

Hatzlacha rabbah!!