One of the hardest things I will ever have to accept, is that I chickened out of going, due to nothing other than fear of showing my face.
I really wish I could rewind the clock a couple of hours and make my way over there.

Hopefully you'll get another opportunity within the next few weeks.
It was hard for me too to go. Of course it was awkward at first, but it was worth it!

kollel guy,

first a formal introduction,
hi my name is sturggle,
nice to "meet" you.

second,
why's it so hard to accept?
we all are familiar with that fear
and speaking for myself,
i can totally understand ur not coming.
it makes sense (to me).
so, no rewinding any clocks,
you didn't show, happens,
question is, who's gonna win next time?
Mr. Fear or Reb KG?

OK challenge accepted. So let's make another one soon.

We are actually working on it.

im with sturggle on this one.
we all understand your fear.
and especially for married guys,you have a reputation to uphold.we singles are just crazy little punks

imtrying25 wrote on 20 Dec 2009 17:27:


we are?
o yea.im ready to roll.iy'h i will have a new song ready for the party. 

I just keep thinking this will one day haunt me when I become a Maggid Shiur or something (yeah right). But on the other hand, if I don't go, it will probably haunt me even more upstairs - because of all the understanding and Koach to beat this I could have attained and didn't for the stupid excuse of pride. :-\

Uri wrote on 20 Dec 2009 18:47:


as opposed to the other one/s?

Kollel Guy wrote on 20 Dec 2009 19:17:
Kollel Guy wrote on 20 Dec 2009 19:17:


right :-\

Kollel Guy wrote on 20 Dec 2009 19:17:


im confused. whats gonna haunt you? meeting with other guys to be in a chavura striving to grow in their avodas Hashem? i mean wouldn't any maggid shiur wish upon his talmidim to be part of something like that?

C'mon, don't mach avek with the fact that it's not geshmak to have people walking around who know this about you. Avodas H-shem or not. You happen to be right that it's still worth it, but there's a sacrifice in there that's not small business. And I'll bet most people both in our situation and not, would not have the strength to do it. Gimme a break! The best guys in yeshivah and in kollel won't admit that they "don't know" when you ask them a question, and will pretend they can't answer now for some reason - because not knowing something is too embarrassing for them. This??!!! No way man!! Your talking some serious madregos here...
BE"H I will come, I'm just saying it's not easy.

and im totally agreeing that it's not easy.
the rest of the discussion will bli neder continue in person.

hey im with you Kollel Guy. I think sturggle just wants to bring out the importance of such a thing. Not at all to say its easy. Its not even hard. Its murder!

imtrying25 wrote on 20 Dec 2009 20:11:

Actually, that's it's of the main reasons I really want to do it. I would imagine it really puts your fake ego in it's place. This time I'm BL"N gonna be strong.

Kollel Guy wrote on 20 Dec 2009 19:17:


So what if you become a maggid shiur? I doubt you'd be OUR magid shiur (unless you were our GYE rebbe  ). It would only be awkward if you met your talmidim or your rebbe at a GYE event.