Thank you all for the very kind words! 

I was recently extremely humbled by watching a certain huge talmid chacham being interviewed. When asked how the talmid chacham was able to become who he was, he said he was blessed with a very easy life. He grew up in a home that Torah was paramount, so it was only natural for him to spend so much time and effort in his learning. That was his response. 

I have no doubt this talmid chacham has had many challenges and that the y''h didn't just let him have it easy. However, he clearly had the attitude that it is easy and that he is just doing ratzon Hashem. 

There is a mussar concept to make a nisayon less and increase emunah (slightly misquoted but you will get the concept). We see it when Yaakov went to Rachel and Leah about leaving their fathers house and explained all the hardships that he went through, and they responded agreeing that it was rough for them. There is a major question! Hashem just told Yaakov to leave Lavan! He should have said Hashem told us to leave and we are out of here, and Rachel and Leah should have said, "we will do it because Hashem said!" The lesson is that a person should make a nisayon less challenging if possible and not say it is hard but I will do it anyway. 

I think that is what the Talmid Chacham was saying that he had it easy. He had trained himself that it was only natural for him to become a Rav and learn Torah, so he was able to stay focused and not get distracted by other things. 

Maybe that can be applied to our challenges as well. The most important thing that has helped me get to where I am was/is attitude.  When I finally stopped being so harsh on myself I was able to start getting above the water. When I started to celebrate every victory I started to realize that I could overcome this! I think that is this same concept of lessening the challenge. 

When I came to GYE I thought it was an (almost) impossible thing to break free. Ironically, the more I was able to convince myself how possible it is to break free the more I broke free. 

Breaking free is really attainable!!! Everyone can break free and it just takes a little bit of effort every day!!! Every second you are clean is worth more than you can imagine!! 

Day 8 and onwards!

lionking wrote on 22 Dec 2020 02:28:

Hi Guys,
Yes for me everything is a trigger, pictures, books, even vidoes that may have something, triggers me. 
Any advice ?


Thanks 

Bigmoish wrote on 06 Jan 2021 05:46:

"Stickin' with it" has its ups and downs. Sorta like life. Sorta like marriage. Sex, learnin', business, raisin' kids. 

Dat's livin' I guess. 

wilnevergiveup wrote on 12 Jan 2021 05:51:

This may sound harsh to some, but the only one at fault - is reality. It's the cold, hard, naked truth. Oh yeah, that root canal thingy, isn't just on the man...he causes his wife's teeth to decay and she may lose her ability and desire to eat and enjoy food for a while. Or forever.

But, if properly addressed and worked on, it can be a beautiful set of teeth. Both rows of straight white pearls, working in harmony, the tastebuds singing in delight as the deliciously delicate flavors tickle their fancy...

We have the ability to create an intimate experience that can be "The good, the bad, or the ugly."

Great post @WNGU!

When you come on after a fall, it shows so many people how it is possible to really break free. 

This "Day 2" is not the same "Day 2" you have had in the past. You are in a different universe of days, and the place you are now is miles and miles ahead of even prior high numbers. Don't forget that and keep pushing forward.

The best thing I was told when I fell after a long streak was....

*SLAP* ...... *HUG* 

Here are some reminders for myself for today:
- One day at a time!
- One tiny drop of lust is a drop too much!
- Keep on davening to Hashem to help me stay clean!
- Try to help others as much as possible 
- The greatest tikkun for the past is keeping strong now 

.... found the world of GYE, (learned all of this about myself)  so I had guidance from reading the old threads, conversing with great individuals, and I've become a different man.

How? Through calming down about it. Realizing that no matter the physical or emotional desire or feelings, it's just that.  A desire or a feeling, NOT a need. Yes, obviously men are wired to feel like they need ejaculation, but we taught and trained ourselves to overdo it. We became slaves to the smallest organ in our body. Instead of thinking with our brains we think with our...

.... instead of me using her as a toilet to masturbate in, because all the girls in the street turned me on and she's the only permitted release.

If you are certain she is the one for you, you owe it to her to be mekabel to NEVER watch pornography again. Once married, besides the destruction watching pornography can cause if detected, and besides the toxic effect it has on married life by brainwashing you that your wife is an object - at most a kosher masturbation tool, watching pornography is cheating on your wife - plain and simple.
.... 
You do not need to practice for your wedding night - what you think you need to do, you already know good and well how to do. What you do need to do is learn what is really supposed to happen on your wedding night. If you don't tell your chosson rebbi that you need your prior "education" erased, you better get to a GYE mentor before your chasuna to straighten you out.
​....
Get on the phone with an accountability partner. If you are engaged, there is not much time left. You can't afford to not be motivated at this point. Let someone hold your hand and if necessary pull hard to get you far away from all the garbage ASAP!


May Hashem shower you and the kallah with bracha. May your home be a place where the Shechina will comfortably dwell.

YeshivaGuy wrote on 15 Jan 2021 21:17:

Yeshiva Guy I want to give you some perspective on the decision you have made. You think you decided to rid yourself of an iPhone as a protection for now - while you are a bochur, which of course is true, and you should be applauded for making that decision. But it goes way beyond that tzaddik.

Yidden have always been careful to make their homes sanctuaries - safe places , unaffected by the street. The term teivas Noach has been used about our homes (and yeshivas). For generations, despite our interactions with goyim out there in the world, we came home and closed the door to whatever was going on "out there". Along came the radio and television and brought the goyim right into our living rooms. Gedolei Yisroel campaigned against TV and to a great degree were very successful and many guys who grew up in TV homes, upon marriage, left the TV out of their new mikdash me'at. Even radio - many bnei Torah restricted radio listening in the house either completely or to a large degree. Some made a gender of "only in the car". Eventually Torah true newspapers were published to help us "know what's going on the world", while protecting us from questionable content, which also served as a great service to keep our homes pure. And then along came the Internet..... and wreaked havoc on all this. Let's not even discuss shmutz. The amount of apikorsus - open and subtle is enormous. People who never dreamed of watching goyishe movies, do so quite often now. And we have been desensitized to aidelkeit. Clips of people's happenings are sent around with no concern for their privacy and dignity - simple example - why should someone's car accident be public? Why are we watching someone in their tough moment? The amount of lashon hara and rechilus is appalling. Since when is "online" the heter to say (or write) just about anything? Kids are seeing traumatic events and tragedies rach"l.

When a bochur decides, "my home is going to be pristine - a kodesh hakadoshim. The street has no entry past my mezuza. Western Culture will not enter my abode. There will not be a device in my pocket that will bring foreign ideas - open and subtle kefirah, lashon hara, or images that even the "heimish" news does not realize are unacceptable - why do they show pictures of lady politicians and the like?! Why?!" When a bochur makes that decision, he is protecting himself, his future wife and kids from challenges to their emunah and their kedusha. You are a wise man. 

Here’s a look at my mind right now as I lay in bed:

Yetzer: hey I see ur down
Me:yup really feel horrible, will speak to Rebbi tomorrow 
Yetzer: great idea. Why not masterbate now though so you’ll get some relief? After all these emotions aren’t your fault, you need a break
Me: hahaha! Halarious, dude u think I’m gonna be nichshal now just cuz I’m down. What shaychus?
Yetzer: well ur in pain, and anyways ur a failure in other parts of ur Avodas HaShem. I mean, u even missed night seder!
Me: 1. Just cuz I’m a failure (which is debatable) in some parts of life doesn’t mean I should fail here!
2. Being nichshal now will make me feel so so horrible 
3. This isn’t the way to deal with problems. An “ever” is to be used for Kedusha. It’s not a toy to be played with when one is down.
Yetzer: ok fine, u got a point. But if u change ur mind let me know
Me: lol! Ya right bud, have a gn