I already have a thread on my journey ( which can be seen in my signature)

I have come to realize that I always need to be involved in recovery, as I will explain shortly.

To that end I heard recently, that every day one should be able to finish the day and have learned something new. So I will IYH be posting here every day (besides Fri, Shabbos). Something I learned recovery based, either here on the forum or elsewhere. 

Hopefully this will give me a incentive to always look to be learning and growing.

Please feel free to discuss and debate anything I post.

First post is something I posted a few days ago, but it's related to the reason I started this thread, here it goes.


This is from a podcast, on which Eli Nash is interviewed. 

He said a great line. He still goes to meetings three times a week even though he's sober 2 and a half years because.

Im not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget"

What did I learn today?

Heard In a shiur

As long as one is learning things to tell other people, one is not learning anything.

now for my commentary we are all quick to dispense advice that we hear from others. But the best advice you can give someone, is something you lived yourself

Speaking and hearing other people's stories helps you release your toxic shame. So the more stories you hear, listen too or people you talk to the better.

On a related note. Is hitting rock bottom a strong feeling of shame? Just something I have been wondering about.

Hakolhevel wrote on 20 Nov 2019 04:58:

I'm not fully following your question.  Are you asking what is considered "hitting rock bottom"

Dave M wrote on 20 Nov 2019 14:01:

I guess it would be related to that question. 

To reframe my question. We all have felt bad about doing bad things so many times, but usually it doesn't push us to the place of - I'm ready to do anythin,r  to beven difficult even if it's really difficult to break the cycle.

What feeling does rock bottom bring, that the person is suddenly ready to do anything. It may be that clarifying what rock bottom is will clarify this question.

Hakolhevel wrote on 22 Nov 2019 01:38:

I think there can be different levels of Rock Bottom.  When one reaches Rock Bottom, he is faced with the hard truth that he lost complete control and he needs to make real and significant changes if he wants to get out of his current mess.  That usually will entail reaching out for help.  However, it's important to capitalize on this feeling.  It will go away after some time. If one keep "digging his hole"  his Rock bottom will obviously get deeper.  What does that mean?  It means that it will take more "hell on this world" to wake him up again to make those needed changes.

The solution to our problems is usually not unknown. We just avoid it, because we "enjoy" the problem

Hakolhevel wrote on 12 Dec 2019 02:54:

Good post.  Very deep.

Ahava hatluya bedavar like Amnon and Tamar.

They are the best example because they should have had a natural love of siblings. But the love for external features, caused not only the natrual love to dissapate, but  it led to actual hate.

In our lives I feel like when we act out, it causes is to treat others (including our wives) with less respect ( to say the least) because we are self absorbed and self focused

I have a thought to share:
yosef told the people in jail ... 'the dream interpretation are to god, so tell me your dream'is that not a contradiction?  if it belongs to god , why does he ask them to tell him??My thought is.. yosef was telling them, I might not be able to help you solve your issues... that's up to GOD - but what I definitely do it L.I.S.T.E.N.  and that solves many issues ... just listen to the person with pain