I am now 4 days clean. You can imagine how depressing I was when I first acted out. But with all the amazing insights that I learnt from this website and from all the meetings that I have been too made it easier to get up as quick as possible. I did two things right after I fell. I contacted my sponsor and I told from going into a snowball.

Here is a few things that I have learnt on the way into my recovery that helped me. Please feel free to add your opinions and your own experience in what works for you.

Always live in the moment.

Take one day at a time. Since we anyways have no control on what's going to happen tomorrow there is no point in tinking pass today.

Know that we never have control over anything in life we only have choices. Its the choices that make the difference in what happens in our life. So once we understand and accept this we can perhaps have an earier time giving over our addiction to Hashem since we know that we never had control over it from to begin with.

One must have a filter before even thinking about getting serious recovery.

Vital to get a sponsor

Get someone to hold you accountable

Try to go to a live meeting, whether SAA, SLA, SA whichever works best for you.

Participate on the GUE phone meetings at least once a week. Its always good to hear other frum jews perspetives.

Work the steps, dont just read them. A good way to get you started would be by getting a sponsor, like this he can guide you and help you be consistent on working it.

If you have decided to tell your wife about your addiction, then never ever lie to her again about it. Because a marriage is trully based on honesty. So even if you are scared to tell your wife if you have fallen, since you will very likely tell in the futture about it anyways you could might as well get it over with right away. Like this your spouse can hold on to the knowledge that at least you are hounest and that can really help your marriage.

Call other brothers from your program on a daily basis even if you dont have a reason to call. I cant begin to tell you how vital this aspect is for our recovery. And the reason why it is so vital for our recovery is because it will get us out of stage of isolation when we will need it most. It will make it easier for us to reach out for help and call someone if we are ever in a bubble. Even if you just feel triggered by anything just pick up the phone and call a brother. We have to try to make the calling a second naturefor us.

To see a sex therapist is a big plus, they can help you realize what you have to work on in a quicker time frame, help you start going to meetings and by helping you get a sponsor. 


 

 

Have a good Shabbos everyone. I cant begin to tell you all how good it feels to be back on this forum.
May all have an uplifting and rechargeble Shabbos.

It's great to have you back phillip.

That's a beautiful summary of what helped you... I'd like to share that in a Chizuk-mail.

Keep up the good work!

I would like to share with you what I l got out of todays meeting with my sponsor. By the way for those who dont know last week I hd a fall after several month of sobriety. I usually meet my sponsor once a week after my Sunday morning meeting. What I got from him today most likely isnt new to anyone on this forum but yet its still good for us to hear it over and over again. After going over with him about my writing that he ask me to do this pass week. He noticed that I tend to act on my decisions regarding my recovery without consulting anyone. So I told him what do you mean, should I consult you everytime when an idea pops into my mind about how to better my recovery. And he responded YES, ofcouse I should what esle are sponsors there for. They are there to help guide us in every way. And he made me realize for the first time when he told me that we are not fighting this fight alone but rather we in this fight rogether with all the brothers and sponsor from opur program (in our case including our forum). So in essence what I got out from our meeting was that not only is G-D fighting for us this battle but all his sheluchim aswell are fighting for. I dont know why but this really made me feel as if a load of weight came off my back. 
May all of us always have this approach.

Amen! Thanks for sharing that with us. I have had major breakthroughs with that 'one day at a time' mindset. Please keep your tips and the good news coming! Seeing success from another boardmember is geshmak, and actually helps alot with my own struggle.