I am for the fist time, in about 20 years, clean for 80  days, and i happen to start enjoying life probably for the first time in many years too. My wife told me last night that i have been much more relaxed and started laughing properly again, if she says so then it must be really that way or at least i am going in the right direction.
When i have a slip i try to push away the thought by thinking of other things, i.e. the last thing i learned or last night for example i started thinking of Al Hanisim and said to Hashem if he made this Nes for the Makabim he should also take this thought out of my mind, shortly afterwards i fell asleep, with no fall.

I also start looking at women differently not anymore as objects but us people with feelings and allthough they sometimes dress or dont dress with big writing on 'please look' it is just not worth it to look, the looks are supposed to be kept for my wife only. What helps me alot here is my non jewish therapist who says that it is normal to look, when i tell that to myself that it is not so Ossur, then the force of the Y.H. fades away abit - enough to get past that person and not look back. 

But what helps me most is GYE, i am in a mini Community where 4 are still active and we have a hangouts group. We hope to start soon with a conf call.
Thank you very much for all your help.

90 days isn't a destination rather a fascination

Seems you dropped the lusting boat somewhere on the way with the impressive tools you're using thanks to the gye community groups.

So here's the confetti - enjoy

Shared experience is a very powerful thing and I'm so happy that people are utilizing the mini-communities. 

Thank you very much. I know its just a stepping stone to get further - i have to keep reminding myself of that, as soon as i tell someone how many days i am B.H. clean, it is usually followed by a slip or fall as i think i mastered it - but this is obviously a constant and very rewarding work.

Welcome,

SoundsI like you are on a good mehalech.

Keep it up and keep us posted please.

B'hatzlachah

I allways read the Shmiras Enayim Emails which are of very great inspiration to me, but it never occured to me that this would ever happen to me. But B.H., he opened my eyes this week and i realised this happens the whole time actually. For example when i used to go to the bank, usually a young girl served me, this past week i went to the bank and for one of the first time in many year a Guy served me.
But what got me to realise this even more is the following story: We have a new cleaning team in our community and the team now consists of 2 males and two females, it used to be just males as i think is correct also for Kovoid Beis Hamedrash - all non jewish. So now we have for a few weeks this new team, but i did not know this because they only come at night to clean Shul and the Beis Medrash, allthough i learn there at that time. My friend who also learns in this Beis Medrash told a few nights ago that he cannot concentrate anymore on learning, when i asked him why, he said because there is this new cleaning team and they lock themselves in the cleaning room and laugh loud and i am sure do other things there too. that is when i realised if I watch my eyes, Hashem watches over me, as Dovi said in one of his Shmiras Enayim Shiurim in August, from the Sefer Vehoer Eineinu, that when you watch your eyes Hashem says - you belong to me.- i just listened to it last night. 

I reached a further milestone in my struggle - the 90 days - looking forward to working on it day by day. For the first time in many years i have not masturbated for 90 days. And not watched movies for more than a year, blocked youtube as well as facebook in the meantime - even for innocent looking stuff. 
My wife told me the day after i hit 90 that my radiation has changed, so i thought, wow this is really what it feels like. Next goal is not to let down my guard and keep on posting. I am starting to enjoy it.

Thanks brother!!

KOP










Keep
On
Positivity

It b.h. helps me just to write things down to get them out of my head, that way i do not have to think about it the whole time. Yesterday i had an urge to google for pictures which i did, i looked at some and then decided that it is not worth it to look at, as i do not want to start all over again - it felt great to just click on the X on the top to close the window again. 
I realised this urge came from stress i got due to  a meeting i had in the morning. I will now look for other stress relievers. If anyone has ideas please reply.
otherwise it is B.H. going very good, i saw the therapist today and he was also happy with the develpment.
Thank you GYE for always being here when needed.

Yesterday was a hard day, i started to have this fantasy again the only way it went away was by occupying my mind with something i learned in the morning. Are there any other ideas?
Thank you , 

Surrender. Hashem, you gave us free will. But I know I'll mess it up. So I give it back to you. Please help me on this.

I recognize a lot of me in your posts (finally getting better after 20 years, occasional lust/slip, starting to live...).
Let me add a few 'tricks' that I find very efficient:
-in Google you can block the images (go to Settings\Privacy\Content Settings\Images), this will block all images when you browse except the website you allow. Beware, this isn't a real safe solution (like a real filter) but at least before watching pictures/movies you need to enable them and thus you have a bit of time to decide what to do.
-every night before going to sleep I write down all the things I should be grateful for and thank Hashem for those , believe me you will be amazed how much there's to thank for every day. Obviously I don't write down the same things day after day. After a while it gives you a different perspective on life, you start to see and understand Hashem is with us at every step of our lives. No need to be a great Tzaddik to see Him.
-Recently I started going to a new therapist, he instructed me to tap on my back every day at least three times when I do something good (whatever it is). The idea is to build a positive cycle which will be used instead of the negative cycle  (pictures, masturbating...). No more need to escape if we can have a real life.

Keep it up, you're doing great

Thank you very much. I will try these points - one at the time but they all sound great.

@ mike dupont.
Sorry only writing back to you know, i was not so much in the forum for the past few days.
Its very interesting, allthough i know everyone on this forum deals with the same things, Porn and Mast.... but you don't know if he is really in the same boat. 
So thank you for the encouragement that there are other people with exactly the same problem as me and keep going strong as you say by keeping positive and not thinking that its not possible.

Good Morning to everybody
I hope you are all doing good. According to my day count i am also doing good. My filters are also good and B.H. the desire to watch is boiling down. But i just feel restless as i am not getting further, i am like stuck abit of how to continue.
Any ideas?