Hey everyone,
long time no speak. im writing to you write after a new fall. whats a new fall you ask? lemme explain...
for a while my addiction had me watching 5-6-7 hours of porn (omg right?) more then once a week. i would stay up till the wee hours of the morning and then some. i realized, man this has gotta change and gotta change fast, but, i just couldnt stop. i had to have those hours and hours it was like fuel for me.
i stumbled on the taphsic method a long time ago but only recently realized its great potential. At first i would just lose oodels of money, but then after a while it started to kick in, when i couldn't just lose 50 or 100 dollars anymore. first it kept me at bay for a week then 2 then 3! inevitably i would fall but that became irrelevant! the point now became to not have porn be a part of my life. after a few weeks/months like this i came to see that i was still having hour upon hour binges and i decided that if the taphsic can curb me from weekly mess ups it can also curb me from hour binges and i imposed upon myself a huge knas that just makes it not worth it to act out for longer then a few minutes! i also gave myself another way out, the knas would be smaller if i messed up without porn! and even smaller if it was without and outside stimulation what-so-ever!
anyway, i felt that at the very least this should be shared with the oilam on the forum. for me its not as much about eradicating porn from my life this instant (although i wish i could) as it is slowly edging it out of my life (no pun intended). this is definitely helping. i can wake up tom not nearly as miserable (or tired) as i wouldve in days of old and know that im finally really taking serious steps to prevent this from staying PART of my life...

Thanks Mr. Clean,

So was the tapsitic used primarily to combat porn or masturbation? In other words I see you eventually used it twofold one for porn and on for masterbation so you originally use it for porn but still allowed masturbation?

Also you write , "I was still having hour upon hour binges and i decided that if the taphsic can curb me from weekly mess ups it can also curb me from hour binges "

Whats weekly messups and whats hour binges?

The answer to the first question is yes. First I allowed myself some "outlet". Don't know if it was right or wrong but I did... Regarding the second, I was having hourly binges every week (or even more then once a week)... I'm still very bothered when I mess up but at least I'm bothered by a 30-40 min binge with non-pornagraphic matieral as appossed to a 5 hour all night fiesta...

Sorry I am not getting the lingo. Whats a one hour binge?

sorry for the long break...
what i mean is instead of watching porn for 5-6 hours through the night i will watch/look at some pics for 45 min. why 45? becasue i have set in place a big knas if i break that time limit... and so far im willing to, instead of pay a big knas, only browse some pics for a short while and pay a smaller one. in my brain its a worthy tradeoff. it also shifts the battle from "should i watch hardcore**** to should i let myself browse some scantly clothed pic for 45 min. its a fight id much rather have...
this isnt the final solution but its a nice step towards it i think. it prevents a weak moment from turning into a internet fest...

and during those 45 min binges it never lures you to see more and more. You are satisfied with 45 min and thats it? Just to be clear, I am not attempting to be critical I am shopping for solutions what would work for me. Thats why I ask you.

totally understand. this is why i post:)
here's how id put it, you know how there are times that you have a real desire to watch porn but u also know that if you were to "tend to your desires" without porn you would end up not watching anything and only be MZL. (not that that is good but i'm sure its better then watching porn AND bieng MZL) why? becasue the desire drops almost all the way to zero after MZL regardless of how you got there. so the way i see it, if i can get myself to find a different method of release, by setting up a system in where if i overstay my visit online ill be fined heavily then i make sure that i'm done within my time limit. of course during,i'm wishing it never ends but i also have some price i'm not willing to pay for that pleasure. for some its only a few dollars for others maybe hundreds, to each their own, but this puts a second thought in my mind of "how worth it is it really?"
does that answer the question? lemme know

and now for the DEVIL'S ADVOCATE!!!!!!

D.A: so basically we are giving in to lust here? i thought the purpose of GYE was so we don't give in to lust.

i understand why one would think that heres how i would respond.
the purpose of GYE is that we should get better. period. some do that through 12 steps some through therapy and some dont do it at all. for me, i know only what i see, and i see that i dont watch porn anymore for 6 hours at a time and feel like crap after.full stop. am i lusting? sure, but am i working on the lust, of course. in some ways i am working on the lust more then anything else! but porn is not an option. as an example i would bring illness and fever. we know that someone is sick and we make sure to give him antibiotics but if theyre fever is pushing 103 we FIRST bring down the fever however we can even though its just a symptom, i think thats a good example.

Like I said it's not a final solution. But the other option would be doing what I'm doing to fight lust PLUS watching porn for many hours... Can't see how that would ever make sense

mr.clean wrote:


Who limited it to those two options?

Please forgive my brevity, if you want me to explain I'm happy to
mr clean wrote:
Our sages say רשעים מלאים חרטה. Until now you had the feelings of a רשע - felt like crap. Now you are a צדיק no more regret
This is exactly what the YH wants - you gave it to him on a silver platter, and you can sleep well

markz wrote:

The reason why I write this is because I'm an absolute am haaretz and I have no clue what a rabbinic authorities say. That's the truth.

So please teach me - is your LOX (local orthodox or conservative rabbi) of the opinion that masturbation is allowed according jewish law? Or at least compared to porn, are there any books that allow it over porn?
I thought mast is worse than porn? I read the bible last week and was shocked what happened to the 2 sons of Judah that died because of mast.

I think I was in the same boat as you mr clean and waydown a few months ago, but if you have a rabbi that can make life easier for me please give me his number here or email me markzgye@gmail.com

I didn't ask a rabbi but I used my intuition. I figured that if I watch porn than its automatically going to lead to masterbation. It always has.
Always. So this way I just cut out the porn aspect. I don't know of any rabbis off hand but I can prob think of a few, if I may ask are u orthodox?

@cordnoy I'm open to other options if u have any that work. Not just ones that are heeby jeeby have faith and hope for the best kind of ideas...

I don't mean to sound crass or cynical in any way I'm Legit open to ideas...