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The Frustration Solution
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TOPIC: The Frustration Solution 3226 Views

The Frustration Solution 17 Sep 2015 16:57 #264028

  • selfloathing
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Hey All,

I wanted to get some advice for one of my triggers, frustration and anger.

When I get into a fight with the Mrs., a client, failing at a project, etc. I usually end up back in the muck.

What are alternate, healthy, means of dealing with these situations? What has worked for you?

Re: The Frustration Solution 17 Sep 2015 17:08 #264029

  • waydown
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Finding other kosher fun outlets. Exercise, gym, a ball game, listening or watching a kosher movie, just shmuzing with a friend, bike riding.

Re: The Frustration Solution 17 Sep 2015 17:30 #264031

  • eslaasos
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selfloathing wrote:
Hey All,

I wanted to get some advice for one of my triggers, frustration and anger.

When I get into a fight with the Mrs., a client, failing at a project, etc. I usually end up back in the muck.

What are alternate, healthy, means of dealing with these situations? What has worked for you?


What worked for me was acceptance, but it took a while until I understood it.

For me, it wasn't only the cause of the frustration, it was more about what the situation, both the external issue and my reaction to it, said about me. Any stress point became a reminder of my overall failure as a human being, father, husband etc. Once I learnt how to accept that I am a person with value who messed up and is not perfect, it relieved half the pressure, allowing me to save my mental energy for the actual situation, and most times I was able to respond more productively. Took a while to internalize.
Quotes that speak to me
What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy)
My Thread    My Other Thread

Re: The Frustration Solution 17 Sep 2015 18:46 #264038

  • cordnoy
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eslaasos wrote:
selfloathing wrote:
Hey All,

I wanted to get some advice for one of my triggers, frustration and anger.

When I get into a fight with the Mrs., a client, failing at a project, etc. I usually end up back in the muck.

What are alternate, healthy, means of dealing with these situations? What has worked for you?


What worked for me was acceptance, but it took a while until I understood it.

For me, it wasn't only the cause of the frustration, it was more about what the situation, both the external issue and my reaction to it, said about me. Any stress point became a reminder of my overall failure as a human being, father, husband etc. Once I learnt how to accept that I am a person with value who messed up and is not perfect, it relieved half the pressure, allowing me to save my mental energy for the actual situation, and most times I was able to respond more productively. Took a while to internalize.


Great stuff!
Have you been readin' a book?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

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Re: The Frustration Solution 17 Sep 2015 18:52 #264042

  • eslaasos
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cordnoy wrote:
eslaasos wrote:
selfloathing wrote:
Hey All,

I wanted to get some advice for one of my triggers, frustration and anger.

When I get into a fight with the Mrs., a client, failing at a project, etc. I usually end up back in the muck.

What are alternate, healthy, means of dealing with these situations? What has worked for you?


What worked for me was acceptance, but it took a while until I understood it.

For me, it wasn't only the cause of the frustration, it was more about what the situation, both the external issue and my reaction to it, said about me. Any stress point became a reminder of my overall failure as a human being, father, husband etc. Once I learnt how to accept that I am a person with value who messed up and is not perfect, it relieved half the pressure, allowing me to save my mental energy for the actual situation, and most times I was able to respond more productively. Took a while to internalize.


Great stuff!
Have you been readin' a book?


No, books can hurt my eyes, depending on the book. I learnt that in therapy. On the other hand I do try to listen to some guy reading from a book most days at 1.20
Quotes that speak to me
What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy)
My Thread    My Other Thread

Re: The Frustration Solution 17 Sep 2015 18:59 #264045

  • cordnoy
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eslaasos wrote:
cordnoy wrote:
eslaasos wrote:
selfloathing wrote:
Hey All,

I wanted to get some advice for one of my triggers, frustration and anger.

When I get into a fight with the Mrs., a client, failing at a project, etc. I usually end up back in the muck.

What are alternate, healthy, means of dealing with these situations? What has worked for you?


What worked for me was acceptance, but it took a while until I understood it.

For me, it wasn't only the cause of the frustration, it was more about what the situation, both the external issue and my reaction to it, said about me. Any stress point became a reminder of my overall failure as a human being, father, husband etc. Once I learnt how to accept that I am a person with value who messed up and is not perfect, it relieved half the pressure, allowing me to save my mental energy for the actual situation, and most times I was able to respond more productively. Took a while to internalize.


Great stuff!
Have you been readin' a book?


No, books can hurt my eyes, depending on the book. I learnt that in therapy. On the other hand I do try to listen to some guy reading from a book most days at 1.20


7's are wild!
Spin dat wheel!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: The Frustration Solution 17 Nov 2015 01:59 #268792

  • kohelp613
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eslaasos wrote:
selfloathing wrote:
Hey All,

I wanted to get some advice for one of my triggers, frustration and anger.

When I get into a fight with the Mrs., a client, failing at a project, etc. I usually end up back in the muck.

What are alternate, healthy, means of dealing with these situations? What has worked for you?



What worked for me was acceptance, but it took a while until I understood it.

For me, it wasn't only the cause of the frustration, it was more about what the situation, both the external issue and my reaction to it, said about me. Any stress point became a reminder of my overall failure as a human being, father, husband etc. Once I learnt how to accept that I am a person with value who messed up and is not perfect, it relieved half the pressure, allowing me to save my mental energy for the actual situation, and most times I was able to respond more productively. Took a while to internalize.


Wise words

Re: The Frustration Solution 17 Nov 2015 02:26 #268796

  • Markz
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Welcome Wise Man!
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Re: The Frustration Solution 17 Nov 2015 10:37 #268816

I'm not quite in your situation, but I understand stress, especially when it comes from other people. What I try to do is remember to organize my goals and values in life. What matters more, the fight/stressful situation I'm currently in, or the job I need to finish? In my case, I have nasty partners for a school work project, but I try to remember that my goal is to graduate and deal with the stupid situation.

Re: The Frustration Solution 17 Nov 2015 19:01 #268859

  • shlomo24
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for me what helps is to remember that god runs the world and he loves me dearly so anything that happens to me must be for the best. that usually takes the edge off whatever is happening and then i can get dow nas to what actions i should do to help myself. i usually would call someone to vent and not let it fester and see what they say to do, many times the solution is obvious but in when i am stuck in my head i don't think straight.
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

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