In today's "Shmiras Ainayim" Chizuk E-Mail (No. 304) was written:

In this struggle, we need to learn to "hold on above" and live with Hashem in our hearts. This is even more important that learning to FIGHT and be STRONG. One who has Hashem with him, is no longer afraid, and they can achieve an inner serenity. (A highly suggested book to read is "The Garden of Emunah" by Rav Shalom Arush). Emunah is one of the most important aspects of success in this struggle. When we bring Hashem into our hearts, we learn to "let Go and Let G-d". Trying to "control" the Yetzer Hara can lead to fear when we ask ourselves, "Can I really do it?" Instead, we let Hashem take over our lives.
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I would like to post A source of spiritually I gain by listening to a weekly a Shiur given by R' Meilech Beiderman Shlita.
(he gives weekly, a Shiur in Yiddish and in Hebrew based on the Parsha)

I don't know him personally but his Shiurim had/has a great impact on me, for me it's a great source for Emuna Peshuta witch I lack very much. He also speaks very often on Kidusha.
His Shiur is given in a very happy way mixed with Humor.

You can be added to the mailing list by sending an Email to eshbiderman@gmail.com

I wish you all great Hatzluche and would like to hear from others on different sources for spiritually.
Thanks alot

Hi everyone
A week passed and the topic had 23 views,without one reply.
I'm looking for spiritually (growing in Yidishkaiet, Emuna...),it helps me stay sober.
So I'm looking for some goods books, Shiurem, lecturers, websites,ideas.
Thank you very much and a happy Chanuka:)

Spirituality comes in all shapes and sizes.
The seforim shelves are filled with them.
Our Rabbis have tons of information.
The web is abound with spirituality.
If that's where your heart desires, go for it!
Why would you ask a bunch of sex addicts for directions towards spiritual inspiration?
The God of our spirituality is lust!
that is who we bow down to.
And if you need directions there - you are certainly on the wrong site

b'hatzlachah surfin'!

wow!
liked that
thanx

doingtshuva wrote:


Some great divrey chizzuk to getting up after a fall from R' Beiderman:

עיני לאה רכות It seems that the Torah is telling us a negative trait. That she was not pretty. Why?
Reb Tzadok explains, that when you take a string that is cut in half and tie it back together, the string becomes stronger. That is the yesod of במקום שבעלי תשובה עומדים אפילו צדיקים גמורים אינם עומדים.
However, if you keep cutting it and tie it back together again and again, the string becomes very very strong. But it doesn't look as nice.
Leah was the mother of the baalei teshuva. (Reuven, Yehuda, Dovid came from her) She was the the first to be maamid doros. Perhaps not as pretty but stronger. The strength of baalei teshuva.
The ones that keep picking themselves up, keep tying up the knots.

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כי מראש צורים אגבנהו וגבעות אשורנו
The tzurim are the avos and the gevohos are the imahos. The father contributes to their child the akshanus. The mother contributes the regesh, the cheshek to be meschazek again and again. To keep getting up after falling. that is gevohos.
it says קול דודי הנה זה בא, מדלג על ההרים מקפץ על הגבוהות
medaleg is skipping on one leg. mekapetz is jumping on two legs. the pasuk is saying that for the ones that keep getting up and being mischazek (the gevohos) Hashem kiviyachol, jumps with both legs, a closer connection.

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It says by Reuven that he saved Yosef from his bother's hands. The question is that he didn't save him. He was still sold. All he did was have them throw him in a pit (with snakes and scorpions)?
The answer is that at that point Reuven couldn't do any more than that. If you do whatever is in your ability, Hashem counts it as if you did everything. Hashem counts it as if Reuven saved yosef, because he did all he was able to.
All Hashem wants from us is to do whatever we are able to.
*****
It says that someone who does gelila takes the sechar of everyone that had aliyos.
Children are often given gelila. They can't get an aliyah, they can't do hagbaa. He did whatever he can - gelila- then he takes sechar kulam

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והוי זהיר במצוה קלה כבחמורה שאין אתה יודע מתן שכרה של מצוות
the question is that we know how much the sechar of some of the mitzvos are, and the gemara even says that for kan tzipur we get rewarded arichus yamim kol shekein mitzohs chamuros? so do we know or not know?
The Tosfos Yom Tov says, the sechar of the mitzvah we know. but the sechar of the effort to do the mitzvah or the zrisus of the mitzvah that we don't know.
Therefore the mitzvah says הוי זהיר במצווה קלה because the sechar for the efforts of doing the mitzvohs is not known. Chazal is stressing the effort involved. And for that, we don't know which mitzvos or more choshuve to the ribbono shel oilam

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ויצא יעקב מבאר שבע
כשנמצאים במצב של "ויצא" - שהוא מרגיש בחוץ, "יעקב" זה ענוה - העקב,
אז יודעים שבשמים זה "באר שבע" הם שבעים ממנו
אבל אם הוא מרגיש "וילך" - זה הולך לי , אז "חרנה" יש חרון אף

להשתנותלדוד בשנתו את טעמו לפני אבימלך - כשרוצים לשנות את הטעם לפני ה' - לחזור בתשובה, להיות אחרת
אז ויגרשהו וילך - תגרש את הוילך צריכים להתמודד ולעבוד על עצמו

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עד כאן דברי יצר הרע מכאן ואילך יצר טוב
לחשוב על מה שהיה עד עכשיו זה היצר הרע. להסתכל קדימה זה היצר טוב

doingtshuva wrote:


There are a huge variety and many different sources of spirituality to be found, starting with just
תנ"ך , אגדות הש"ס, חובת הלבבות מסילת ישרים רמב"ם
and then for the chasidim
the tanya, and a big selection of chasidishe sforim,
and for the litvishe,
the r' Yisrul salater and his talmudim

But, honestly, is our real problem the learning source which we lack?
I guess not,

The real sources for spiritually is within yourself
That's what the posuk says כי קרוב אליך הדבר מאד בפיך ובבלבך לעשותו
what we actually lacking is the power to bring it out to the light and live up to it

If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome addiction, many of us would have recovered long ago.But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried.We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn't there. (AA BB page 44)

Does this make sense for you?

Hi Cordony
I'm sure you were in a bad moment when you posted, so I wont take it personally.
It might be that I'm on the wrong site but I hope Hashem is your true God and you don't bow to ...
Try keeping it calm and simple, it's an open forum and you don't have to agree with me at all.

I'm for a long year working on my recovery and I didn't watch P... for about 8 month.
I do things my way, and whats good for me.
I feel that now I need to fill my head with Dvar Torha, nice Gidanken, Drushes.

Happy Chanuka

Sorry,
I wasn't in a bad moment and I didn't mean to write anythin' that would offend you personally.
I keep sayin': WW, which means "Whatever Works."
Because this is a public forum, I like to express the views that I believe work for the mainstream addict (which is different than a chronic masturbator or porn surfer).
If you'd like to continue this conversation more in depth, you can always pm in a private chat, or email me at thenewme613@hotmail.com.

Either way, keep doin' what you're doin'....if it works for you, and even if it doesn't, keep doin' what you wanna do.
I'm also not particularly sure what you took offense to...was it the 'bowin' down' part? That is classical SA talk!?

Let me know.
I mean no harm.
I like spirited conversation, as long as all the parties can handle it.

b'hatzlachah

Two quick clarifications

1. "b'hatzlachah surfin'" meant for spirituality
2. Our god is lust does not in any way detract from believin' in God, although I don't really know what the difference would be. It simply means that lust (for those of us who are addicted) control our every move and thought.

Cordony I'm proud of you.

But keep your spirits high

Thanks!

Spirits spirituality couldn't be higher!

cordnoy wrote:


Hi Cordony
I believe you that you meant only good as you always try to.
It's actually my fault that I'm not (yet) so familiar with the classical SA talk!?

But let me explain what what hit me the for the first second.
You asked me - Why would you ask a bunch of sex addicts for directions towards spiritual inspiration? So I'll answer you, that addicts understand me better than any other person, therefore I ask them.
If they can't help me, I'll break my head then.

The seforim shelves,Our Rabbis didn't work in the past.
Maybe now with some time sober it can help a bit


So Cordony is/was/will be my best friend.

doingtshuva wrote:


We probably do; and that is why we are sayin' that for many of us - searchin' for spirituality never really helped us; accordin' to Dov, that is a revolvin' door, and that is even part of the problem. Just spend some time here perusin' thru any of Dov's posts (and others as well), and you'll see what it is I'm referrin' to.

But, then again, WW!

b'hatzlachah

[quote="doingtshuva" post=245362]cordnoy wrote:

can you take me into that friendship?

youre in my list already.

my email is thenewme613@hotmail.com