I park in the city very often. This past Wednesday, after I parked, as I was walking to my appointment, I paid attention to the cars parked to see if there perhaps was a spot closer to where I needed to be. Did I get the best spot or had I chanced it, would an even better spot been available?

And I caught myself doing it and realized that I was setting myself up for Buyer's Remorse. (Buyer's Remorse is when you regret a purchase because either you discover there was a better product or better price, etc)
What if I did see a closer and therefore "better" spot? Now I've set myself to be unhappy with the spot I chose. Or I have to challenge myself to have strong Emunah and believe G-d gave me the best spot for me, that it might not have been available when I got there, etc.

Either way, which is the smarter choice? To look for comparisons and possibly set myself up to be disappointed with my choice of parking spots or try to avoid looking at the cars altogether?

I realized about myself that I do that often in many material aspects of life and it affects my happiness which is a big key to beating this disease/battle/whatever. If I look at the houses while I'm driving and admire them, it makes me appreciate my home less. I have a great home! but its not a McMansion. If I admire pretty women on the streets, it makes me appreciate my wife less. I have a beautiful wife! But she's not a playmate.

I realized that any time I ogle anything thats not mine: women, cars, houses, parking spots, I'm eroding my own happiness and contentment in life with what I have. (I realize women/wives are more than just bodies, but in terms of ogling, we're not ogling them for their brains at that moment, are we?)

So now, when I catch myself wanting to look, I try to tell myself, "That's not yours. Be happy with what you've got. With what Hashem gave you."

If I don't know about what I don't have, I can't be unhappy about it. Ignorance can be bliss. :-)

Wow, what a great way to think about it! If I get you right here, you're saying that my not looking, you stop yourself from desiring that thing. Thanks for posting this incredibly smart idea!

When you think about it, Hashem already taught that to us:

"V'lo Sassuru acharei L'vavechem Vacharei Eineychem..."

I just applied it to my way of thinking.

Great Lesson, MeTalking!
Thank you.

I guess we are ignorant. For instance take a beautiful woman on the street that is too good to be true and looks great, perfect. What would it look like to live with her? To go shopping with her or to discuss life with her, how is she when she gets home after work, with children being loud and hungry and wanting this and that... and with me and my bad day, would she smile, would she be warm, a mensch?

Where am I getting with this????

Well, lately when I see a beautiful woman (or sometimes even a good looking guy), I bless her - like Dov suggested it some place. "Baruch Hashem, you made a beautiful woman. I hope she brings joy to her husband, like my wife brings joy to me."

And my wife really does bring joy to me, sincerly.

Well I still need to tell my wife I want to join a SA group.... Reality invades this dreaming :-)
I hope she stays with me.

That is a really great message. I can relate to it especially because I often times look at friends with bigger houses and wonder what it would be like to have one of those. It seems like I am never happy with what Hashem has given me, and He has given me plenty, much more than I deserve. Thank you for the reminder.