I think the fact that I'm powerless over this addiction is finally starting to sink in. The thought accrued to me recently that I am observant in many areas of my life. Yet I have keep this small dark room locked from HaKadosh Baruch Hu. And no matter how hard I've tried I couldn't seem to give over this area of my life to Him. But thanks to Hashem and you guys as well my sponsor I have REALLY started to open up. When I first came to the site I didn't think I needed the 12 Steps. My acceptance of going to a SA group and working the Steps came gradually. I didn't see my addiction as being bad enough as to need such things. I am beginning to see that the Steps can to be applied to any degree of the addiction. The inherent problems are the same no matter how pervasive the addiction has become in your live.

Same here brother.

My addiction never went beyond my computer and I resented going to groups with people who had done 'worse' than me. One of the things that finally clicked in me was that I was not far off doing things with real girls myself. The line between me and that seemed to become a very small barrier that only needs to be broken once, before it breaks me.

although I don't know it to be true, I have been sayin' the followin': the difference between myself and the computer and actually fallin' with a live person is basically one thing....and that is: opportunity. If one has the availability and he builds up the confidence (if he needs to), one thing can lead to another in what seems like no time at all. We do things when we are under the spell of lust addiction that in our sane mind, we would get nowhere near.

hi othniel!

i too kept on telling myself i'm not that bad after all.

recently i realized that thats whats stopping me from changing fully because i was not being real with myself.

once we start really facing ourselves thats where we start the journey. its not only about what we did its more about how its taking us over and taking us away from real life this can be for someone who never touched a computer or never masterbated if his walking on the street is killing him he needs help.

so KUTGW and kol tuv!

and here you write that youre not that bad after all?

within minutes of writin' that you don't wanna accept where your real level is, for it really gets you down!?

What is real? what isn't?

If im missreadin' you, then just forget it....just want you to clarify so that the others can reach out to help you.

b'hatzlachah

cordnoy

you can check out the other thread