I've been fighting this battle for many years, and although its taken a significant amount of time with many falls along the way, I've become more 'aware' of triggers and thought patterns.

I've also been in therapy for the past couple of months, which has been invaluable. It's helped me to identify thoughts (cognitive behaviour) as a response to certain areas of my life that cause me anxiety/fear, or other negative emotions.

In short, more often than not I'm not merely 'struggling' with porn as I once had been, but now able to focus on the cause and effect of desire, emotions (that may trigger a need for porn), and the ability to be resilient after a fall.

The most important lesson that I've learnt from this experience is that determination is not enough; what is needed is consistency. It's not simply about not acting out for 90 days, but rather to re wire the brain to:
1) familiarise it in preparation for NOT looking at porn and guarding my eyes,
2) accustomed thoughts and associations to other priorities and values, e.g. Visualisation (e.g. Imagining being strong amidst a moment of desire, and consequently not watching porn or acting out),
3) thinking seriously about consequences.

I highly recommend therapy for anyone that has struggled with such problems for a long time. Trust me, I am a very self aware person and very determined, but since deciding to seek professional help it has helped me to BELIEVE in the possibility that I can break free and recover from this burden, one that has real consequences.

It takes time. It's a process and requires hard work. But ultimately we're stronger than we think we are and can learn to be true to ourselves and fight hard everyday for what will make us a better person.

I agree -finding a therapist, focusing on the issue and developing a plan were and are crucial to dealing with the addiction.

me too

Finding a therapist and exploring the issues that cause you to retreat into porn and masturbation is crucial. I found that until I began to address my emotional baggage that I couldn't even think of confronting my addiction.

Yes, I recently started therapy, and I am very thankful for having found the right one. It is a long way for me, but it is also a tremendeous zchus to be able to learn so much about ourselfs. For me the discoveries were rather painful, but it is exactly this pain that led me to act out, and now I am learning to express this feelings of pain. So, before you embark on your way of therapy do not forget that it will be painful, but it is very rewarding and definitely very helpful if you found the right therapist, beH.

I agree wholeheartedly with all of the above but don't forget to mention that all of the therapy in the world just doesn't take the place of a good shmooze with a fellow addict.
(I am not saying that a good shmooze with a fellow addict takes the place of therapy either.)

Therapy plus the discovery that you are not alone in fighting an addiction go a long way. I previously mentioned that when my wife would go away to visit our kids out of town that I would resort to porn and masturbation as a coping mechanism for being by myself. Since I saw my therapist and discovered the wonderful chevra here, I have been tahor-including two trips by my wife out of town.

WOW KUTGW