Patient: I am feeling pretty s@#$%y today
Dr: Why is that?
P: Well, my wife went to mikvah Thursday night, and we still didn't um...you know
Dr: I hear: is she feeling ok?
P: Yes, it seems so.
Dr: Is she stressed?
P: Is she breathing; is she alive? of course she's stressed!
Dr: Aha! So how have you been handling it?
P:Well, I the last several weeks I have been rlistening to R' Pemansky's tapes; his primary focus as of now is that the wife must be treated ALWAYS with affection...in actions and in tone. I have also been practicing focusing on her needs, like R' Dessler says; not on mine. We have both been reading a book about marriage from Dr Chapman that discusses the language of love, and that one must know his spouses language, for otherwise, you will not be loving properly.
Dr: Very interesting; sounds like you have been making progress. How is the marriage?
P: much improved. We are talking more, making eye contact more. It is pleasant....um...except for the last 12 - 16 hours or so.
Dr: Well, let's get back to that soon. How was the intimacy Thursday night?
P: It actually was very good all around; she was in a very good mood. We didn't end up...you know...finishing, but it was a very enjoyable for both evening.
Dr: And over Shabbos?
P: Lukewarm at the best.
Dr: So what do you think happened lately?
P: I'm not really sure. Perhaps stress of the weekdays coming up; perhaps something else.
Dr: Can you ask her?
P: Um...like straight out?
Dr: Yes; like this: "Darling, how are you feeling? Is all ok?"
P: Well, actually, I did that several times, but once or twice it might have had a sexual connotation, like I wanted something.
Dr: And she doesn't like that?
P: Sometimes yes and at times, no...no set rule, but...she was doing that smily winky thing several times in day...although that usually doesn't translate into intimacy.
Dr: Here is what I suggest. Since I'm not a professional (for I am actually you), and things have been going fairly well the last several days, I suggest that you continue where you left off yesterday. Write her a love note via email. Ask her out for lunch. Clean the house for her (ouch! are you @#$%in serious?) Make that phonecall during the day saying you love her, and most of all: Wipe that dejected look off of your face! Life is on the upswing...don't let one day get in the way.
P: Aha...ok...um...I'll try...and if it continues?
Dr: Time's up; gotta go. We will see you next week.

love it!

This is great. I hope you paid yourself for the hour of therapy.

Paid myself...and then returned it for good behavior.
I wrote the first part of email to her.
We will be doin' lunch!

cordnoy wrote:


Great. Enjoy!

do you have any time open?

and are you seeing someone for multiple peronality disorder?

u mean i have to wait for next week for the next session? can we do this more often? every day that goes by, i am missing valuable marriage time with my wife!!!

Pidaini wrote:


He's seeing himself for multiple personality disorder.

cordnoy wrote:


Hahaha! I can so relate to that. When we hear our own voice telling us to do something we hate doing out of love for our wife. "Are you @#$%in serious?" That says it perfectly.

I almost had a talk with the "rabbi" in me today, but I cant write it down; one should not talk to a rav like that

was probably similar to the conversations I used to have with Hashem