I just thought of something that I think works well--please let me know if you think it's a good idea:

There's a whole idea of trying to stay clean today, push Y'H off until tomorrow.

If I have inappropriate thoughts about a girl at school (I go to public school), I can say "those thoughts aren't shayich right now because I'm not with her right now".

I don't think it'll lead me in a bad direction, because in my heart of hearts I know they're all just fantasies and I really DON'T want shmutz or those girls.

Thoughts?

Dear Chachaman,

It sounds like your situation must be challenging, and it is inspiring that you are working hard to overcome. Your idea sounds like a good one to me. I saw something like that in the hand book. When we try to escape our reality, we are deceived into thinking it will help, when it won't. When we avoid looking, the pain is a pain of healing, as opposed to a pain of the disease getting worse. Our avodah is to accept where we are in life and try to focus on the path that corresponds to our unique situation.

I also go to public school and have had the same problem. My solution is a little different. I would think of half an idea. Then when ever I start fantasizing I just remind my self of the idea. I instantly become genuinely interested and forget about the girl. I should give an example. Could a bullet be fired into the air and come down with greater force? Because I REALLY like science, I came up with a science problem. I haven't tried this tactic with other subjects, so I don't know how well other people can do this. Just make sure that what ever you think of you truly like, or it won't work.

I definitely agree that a lot of it comes from boredom--school can get really tiring and boring, so you just let your mind wander or start looking around the classroom.

That sounds like a great idea, I'll attempt to try it myself! Fortunately, I only have a few days left of school.

Great Idea SG. I have read in seforim about people who would think of halacha sheilos before walking in the street and then think about them while in the street to avoid temptation. I'm not sure I can do that, (maybe occationally), but bullets in the air or stories about Giraffes, now that can work .

Chachaman wrote:


Thanks for sharing.

It sounds like you are dealing with alot.

My experience is that it works, but only in for the short term.

If you are dealing with an obsession, like me, you should know that the obsession is much cleverer than that. And it is very patient.

It has been described as "cunning baffeling and powerful".

Sorry for being a party pooper, but i have been where you are, and i have tried all these methods. They had only limited success.

Don't get me wrong. If it works for you, great! But for so many of us we need a much more comprehensive solution.

I only have two days left of school, and then I'll be off to a Jewish, all-male college in the fall, so I'm not too worried about this. I figure that these short-term "crushes" will go away in the long-run.

Also, I think the method is somewhat effective--if you're not with her RIGHT NOW, why have thoughts? And I avoid her, so I'm never with her to have those thoughts.


Thank you very much for replying, though. I'm sure every situation is different.

THis works for me often:
If the girl is a non-Jew, I think that its wrong to feel that way about a non-Jew because I'm Jewish.
If she's Jewish, I think that its wrong to use her for my aveira.