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TOPIC: Safe House 4160 Views

Re: Safe House 15 Feb 2012 07:26 #133020

  • Yosef Hatzadik
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Re: Safe House 15 Feb 2012 11:52 #133028

  • TehillimZugger
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KidusHashem wrote on 15 Feb 2012 04:50:

Just got off my first full 12 steps phone call session. It was great to share and talk with other people who are dealing with this.

I have a strong desire to count days and figure out how many I've been clean but I don't really want to do that. I don't want to care anymore about how long I've been clean b/c it doesn't really matter how long. All that matters is this moment right now because that's all I ever have. That's all that life is. I don't want to approach the six months salivating. I don't want to throw parties for my hebrew and english 1 year sobriety anniversaries. I realize that all that stuff is just another way of feeding my ego and telling myself that I am good or special.
Well, actually, my sobriety is not due to me and if Hashem wanted, I would never be sober even for a moment. If He wanted, I would be miserable for the rest of my life. If I want to count days, count the days that Hashem has been kind to me and helped me when I didn't deserve it (every day of my life). Stop building up a fake "self" in your mind that consists of what you consider your achievements b/c you have none. You haven't ever achieved anything. Ironically, this mind frame is what achieves the most b/c when you show Hashem that the Koach he's channeling through you humbles you and you recognize it for what it is (his koach), He gives you even more of it b/c you know how to appreciate it properly and not abuse it.

like
?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם
My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him?
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Re: Safe House 20 Feb 2012 07:24 #133351

  • hubabuba
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shvua that if I fall (mstbrt, vw adlt sxl mtrl etc) and do 100 pushups with 10 minuts of the fall, $50 to GYE. If didn't do 100 pups, $500 to GYE.
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Re: Safe House 01 Mar 2012 09:07 #133999

  • TehillimZugger
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hey Kiddush!
how bout sending some of the cash my way...  ;D
?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם
My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him?
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Re: Safe House 01 Mar 2012 16:59 #134023

  • obormottel
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How's it going, KH?
Baby steps.
If the road is pulling you down, it's a sign that you are going uphill, so just press harder on the gas!

Have a great day - unless, of course, you made other plans.
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Re: Safe House 01 Mar 2012 20:49 #134042

  • gevura shebyesod
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TehillimZugger wrote on 01 Mar 2012 09:07:

hey Kiddush!
how bout sending some of the cash my way...  ;D


Take it easy, he hasn't told us that he owes any yet (and I hope he never does).
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends
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Re: Safe House 02 Mar 2012 00:45 #134051

  • hubabuba
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thanks for the concern guys. No, I don't owe anything B"H and I'm not doing all those crazy pushups.
I'm doing well, the Taphsic method is great for "forcing" some sobriety to get you back on your feet after a fall. I was only down twice, once for 2.5 days, once for 1 day. In the past, a fall meant a few weeks or months of down time.

But taphsic is only good for forcing recovery. It's not actually helping me grow, so I'm trying to be active in other areas like 12 step call, speaking with my sponsor and a new thing for me is working on giving. I learned from my sponsor that learning to do real giving (i.e. giving without getting) is so important in breaking the addictive mentality b/c as addicts, we're always taking. It's the most egotistical lifestyle there is. Real giving is a great way to break that.
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