Anyone got any good advice about something i struggle with ( im convinced many others do as well)

1. when in Jewish shops.. trying  not to really notice the women- I find it hard especially as many frum women are very much into how they look,fashion, make up,sheitel etc

2. just walking in the street generally- noticing women,

Im not saying these incidents make me feel like acting up or doing anything sexually inappropriate as soon as i get home.rather they make me wonder and drive me nuts what it would be like if my life was different and could well be more of a self esteem issue

ANYONE Got any good strategies for this

newstart wrote on 27 Dec 2011 20:10:

Yes, most red-blooded males struggle with this.

newstart wrote on 27 Dec 2011 20:10:

I'm not sure what you mean???

newstart wrote on 27 Dec 2011 20:10:

Yeah, don't look ;D

do u mean this issue?
http://www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=4608.msg122041#msg122041

newstart wrote on 27 Dec 2011 20:10:

Seriously, some people find that davening for the person humanizes them and they can let go.  I sometimes think of them with their husband or kids (or if they are young, at home with their parents).  Just realizing that they are human and have a life and are not interested in any relationship with me can help.  I sometimes think of them having their own problems and frailties.  Car trouble, paying the bills, anything mundane.

It has been talked about a bunch on the forum.

Gibbor 120,
When lust strikes i don't care about the object of my lust i only care about my fix.  Is what you are saying part of "the steps to take when lust strikes"?
chaimyakov

First of all, as alexeliezer writes constantly, you need gedarim so that you don't reach the point of it making you crazy.  gedarim on the computer, on the street, even in your own home.  Use gedarim so that you don't have this "fight" all the time.  If it's in "jewish shops" etc. - then avoid them as much as possible.

I try really hard not to go to the mall (i hate shopping anyway).

Then, on the rare occasions that you have an issue, use tools.

Another really good tool is to call someone.  It can be a recovery buddy or just your mom.  Anything to get out of your own head.  Go for a jog, listen to music.  Again, don't fight it head on - you need to 'let go' of lust not 'fight it'.  Maybe make a list of tools that have worked for you or you have heard about but never tried. Keep it in your wallet and take it out and read it when lust strikes.

Make any sense?  Just my suggestions.  I'm sure there are plenty of others.  You need to find what works for you.