and I dont want to ever act out ever again.  Please pray for me holy brothers

We are praying!



Laying in bed & praying will NOT satiate my hunger, though. Hashem wants us to......

Sorry not WANTING is not enough

You have not wanted forever

But u won't overcome anything by not wanting

You gotta do something

Here u will find many ideas of what to do

B

Hi Bigefes!

By us, you will soon be feeling like Bigmeah!

Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information…

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week… This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc… So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not…

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook

This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude

The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

May Hashem be with you!

E. ben Durdayah

Hi big boy

you have "already" taken a huge step in fighting the garbage out of you
you came out and posted here, 
you have no idea what its like, being clean!!! your whole day/life is much different

bardichev wrote on 16 Feb 2011 17:51:

sorry bard i disagree with you
he "did" something" that he hadn't done ever before,
he posted here!

let me explain:
the most effective thing that holds me back from falling (after i start slipping) is to post here
(yeah, go back and look up my posts, a lot of them was in time of weakness)

bigefes!
stay here, post away (your ups and downs) it will help you overcome your struggle,

we all need you,

and yes we all pray for your success
your brother

Sorry

Welcome Reb Bigefes!

Shtick around! (sorry, but it is Adar, you know)

So, tell me. Exactly why don't you want to act out ever again? Doesn't it make you feel good? If not, then why do you do it in the first place?

Sober today be"H and loving it,

Dov

PS.

about what? You said good reb b!!

Rebberebber=Dov

I'm just being polite to the newbies

Yeshivah Bochrim!   Elu v'elu. 

Your cry, your scream.  This is a start. 

But the tears and that delicious longing and remorse disappear like a dream.  And then comes the work.

The wanting comes and goes.  In my case, mostly goes.  So for me inspiration is not reliable.

We all find what works for us.  The handbook says more about options.

Many guys find that posting helps them come out of isolation, out from lurking in the shadows under a black hat.  It feels good to know that we're all here for basically the same reason:  We can't stop on our own.

At some point we've just got to admit it.  Take a look at the mess we've made. That it's all just gotten out of control. 

We need help.  Actually, we need a miracle.  Fortunately such miracles happen on a regular basis, all the time, every hour.

If I may make a suggestion that helped me, maybe read the early posts in the threads of some of the guys that have been around here a while.  There you'll read miracles.

much success.  And welcome.  With open arms and hearts.

I don't have much to add to what's been said.
But I wanted to express my support.
Bigefes you took a major step in the right direction
we're all behind you!!
btw if you put a one (Hashem) in front of the efes
you're a ten!
Keep up the good work!

hi BIG!

welcome to being HUMAN!

welcome to the CLUB!

dov.ii

Rabbiner Dov (not to b confused with dov in israel, his stuntman) said some subtle wisdom to toil over.
Why do we act out?
what do others do?
everyone has their ups and downs but not everyone do the same to feel better
What can we do to change the situation?
we can-
A)fix why we feel we need to do this with joy and proper attitude
B)sometimes we need to take practical steps to use better tactics, ie. speak to rebbi, go for therapy (it's real gooood!)
C)take preventitive measures to get access to shmutz out of our lives
D)learn to identify when we feel RID (restlessness irrability Discontent) and HALT (wer'e prone to fall when wer'e weakest-hungry, angry, lonely,tired) and drop some flares and chaff and take proper countermeasures
E)learn better how to deal with a fall, and swing up from it
E.5)learn to KOT (keep on trucking mentality, it can save your life, one of most important terms i learned in my life, find out more!)
F)all that im forgetting

in yeshiva wer'e taught there are two ways at least to answer a kasha-1, give a good teretz
2, shlug up the kasha that its not a good question in the first place
Happy trucking
tz90

Correction:

Dov in Israel is not anyone's stuntman. He is a cool and super dude who does his own stunts, b"H.

dov wrote on 18 Feb 2011 05:11:

Dear "Big Efess",

Have you answered my questions? Have you disappeared? Am I being annoying? So?

No Dov,

I just have not logged in a while. In fact this is the first time since I posted