Cholentfresser wrote on 03 Jan 2011 16:54:
My thing is this and someone mentioned this - if I'm not an addict then I'm a baal aveiro and I can control it, if I are an addict then it is out of my control and I need a 12 step program or therapy. I find myself wanting to be a baal aveiro cos I dont like the idea of being out of control and I dont want to go thru a 12 step program.
The question really is CAN YOU CONTROL IT? The question of being able to control doesn't necessarily stem from the question of "am I an addict", the question is a question in itself, can I control it.
In truth I doubt that in the literal sense you can be called addict. I would define an addict as someone who although he doesn't want to do a specific action, and knows he doesn't want to do the action at the time he is doing the action-he still does it anyway. S/o who does an action because he's bored or because the y"h got ahold of him would be hard pressed to call himself an addict (I think)!
Also an addiction stems from (usually) a long repetition of a specific action and in your case this doesn"t seem to be the case. What do I mean by this?
The Rambam talks about the idea that Paroh didn't have free will to allow the yidden out of Mitzrayim (inyunu diyomah). He explains that the Torah tells us this to let us know that s/o who does an aveiro over and over, a bunch of times, will lose his power to chose between right and wrong. Hkb"h will take away his bechirah and he no longer will have free will to chose right from wrong. It see,s that the Rambam is explaining what we would call today "addiction". HKB"H runs the world biderech hatevah. Part of what this means is that his actions are shrouded in physicality. We all know that parnasah (livelihood) is not dependant on our hishtadlus (efforts), but in the physical world it seems as it is. One of the reasons for this phenomena is because HKB"H shrouds his actions in physicality. The same seems to be true regarding addiction. What addiction [i][b]really [i][b] is, is HKB"H taking away our free will to chose. This is "acted out" in this world through what we call addiction.
The same idea is found in gemarah. The gemarah says "One who did an aveiro and repeated it (ie repeated the aveiroh again) it becomes permissible for him to repeat it". Asks the gemarah " can that really be that because one repeated a sin it becomes permissible for him to sin again?' The Gemarah responds "(What is meant by permissible is not that it is
really, but rather it seems to him that it is permissible.
It seems that this Gemarah is the source of the Rambam's idea that one who sins repeatedly can ultimatly lose his power of free will!
(As a side point- with this we can answer another very perplexing question. Many ask, how is it possible that G_D takes free will away from man? Don't we know that the whole purpose of this world is free will. According to above we can answer that free will is NEVER completely taken away from man. What the Rambam means is that free will in its regular sense can be taken away from man. Although the
regular free will can be taken away this does not mean that this person is powerless to undo himself from the clasp of the Y"H. Yes, its true that if he would try to fight it head on (as Paroh may have done) he can't succead, but if (Bitochbulos taaseh milchomah) he works on himself, he can find away around this "addiction" (like the 12 steps)!!!)
Getting back to our topic at hand: From all that we explained above it would seem that one who fell a few times over a long period of time would probably not be an "addict" in the dictionary sense of the word. But, he
WILL have the characteristics of an addict to some extent. Although he may not fall in to the literal sense of the word, but he will have the
symptoms of an addict to
some degree.
How do I know this?
Well, if we are right that the Rambam gets his principle from the Gemorah that we quoted then the obvious conclusion would be that since the gemorah is talking regarding one who did an aveirah "only" twice it must be that sucha person would be called an addict to some degree and he will have the symptoms of an addict (compulsion to act on his addiction even against his will) to some degrree.
I"m not sure if this helps at all, but if I didn"t
completely confuse you with all this, it may have made things a bit clearer.
GOOD LUCK AND HATZLOCHA
