Hi everyone,
I smile as I am writing this...and at the same time a bit nervous.  I am an older Avrech in Kollel with a lust problem (I hate to admit it, but I realize it's true) and am only now coming out of my box after many, many, many years (as you will see in my next post, hopefully when I get around to it).  I am not really sure what I am doing yet nor where this will take me (hence my hesitation), but at the same time I feel that it might be helpful for me to come out in the open.  I must go now for I don't have much time now to share with you my story. 

But for now can anyone share with me maybe some words of chizuk to encourage me in coming forward....this may help me move forward here.  Thanks

Dear Kedushashachaim,

Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here.

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best – and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"… See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information…

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week… This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps – which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc… So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not…

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook

This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude

The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

May Hashem be with you!

hi!
you did a great thing by coming here and posting. it takes some guts to face the fact that there is a problem and we cannot fix it on our own. you will find that many many other yidden are in a similar situation and we all struggle together and help each other grow. read up on the site and the forum. post as much as you feel comfortable with. you came to a great place. many people have been helped here. find the right tools and formulas for your situation and work with them.
lots of hatzlocha
zs

Thank you ZemirosShabbos for your kind and encouraging words.
Ok, now I will attempt to share with you my story.  But before that, I would like to point out a few things for you to keep in mind while and after you read my story.  PLEASE DO HAVE THE PATIENCE TO READ THIS IN ITS ENTIRETY FOR YOU WILL GET A TOTAL PICTURE OF WHERE I AM COMING FROM, WHERE I AM HOLDING NOW AND MAYBE SOME OF YOU'LL WILL HAVE SOUND ADVICE FOR ME REGARDING MY NEXT STEP
-- Also, The purpose of my story is to provide CHIZUK to all those who may find it inspiring.  For as you will see this is a struggle that I had to put up for many years on my own (of course with Hashem's help)...and you'll get to see my progess and struggles as time transpired in my life.  There is practically no one in my life who knows about this issue about me besides myself, Hashem, and now you. And I would like you all to pay close attention to Hashem's השגחה פרטית ("Hashgocha Protis") and unbelievable patience with me till this very day.  So at least maybe my trials and triumphs will be a zechus for having inspired even one of you.
--  After you get a scope of my story, you should know that I haven't quite closed the gap of recovery yet, which frustrates me and upsets me greatly.  (I feel constant internal anguish over this).  You'll hear more about this after my story.

So, here's my story...
With much introspection I have come to realize that I was born with a natural tendency for what I would call for a lack of a better term -- women's aesthetics.  If it sounds strange to you, just accept it because I know certain tendencies that I had even at the age of four to appreciate or admire (obviously, a four year olds immature and innocent admiration) pretty women (I am sparing you the details exactly how this panned out).  Obviously, this is not sexual at all because a four year old kid doesn't have the physical hormonal state to express it.  So it was just a an admiration similar to a kid being impressed with a shiny toy or the like.  Please note that in this early stage I of course, didn't know it was wrong and a kid tends to do what makes him feel good.  With me that was looking at a nice girl or woman...not intentionally looking out for it, but rather if I saw one I would admire.

Unfortunately, I was brought up in a house with the cursed TV. >  So my being exposed to it only added fuel to the fire of what started only as an innocent "look" as you might say.  I started then to look out for tv shows, movies or programs that featured females that seemed pretty to me (I'm not sure if kids under 13 are necessarily attracted to women yet....I'm not sure.  But something of the sort).

At some point after the age of 13, the Yetzer Hara had me in his strong grasp and I discovered a physical way to express my so-called attractions to those tv figures.  So after enthuastically watching one of these shows with that character, I would imagine that individual and express it in the form of הוצאת זרע לבטלה (loosely translated "masturbating") (again, in an effort to respect you all, I am sparing details.  But rather trying to get the idea across).  This continued throughout my highschool and college years.  Mind you, that I went to a very frum Mesivta.

Originally, I had done the above in all innocence and didn't think too much of it.  However, as I matured with age, and being that I always had a kesher with learning torah to some degree, and, thereby, came across the Rashi's explanation as to why Er and Onan were punished by death by Hashem and the triumph of Yosef over his yetzer harah to sin with Potifar's wife and similar chazal's and sources from the torah, I started developing a guilty conscience over my behaviour.  However, I still continued acting as such as I continued onto college.  The introduction of internet in to my house only propelled my problem even further by allowing me to be exposed to a broader spectrum of schmutz and more inappropriately graphic than was available on TV (at that time, maybe TV today has caught up with the internet... have no idea).

With Hashem's great mercy and kindness, a few sparks of light helped me turn back to serving Hashem in terms of davening, adding on other mitzvos with time.  As a form of chizuk for you to  see the Hand of Hashem in all of this, I will share with you some of these sparks which were also part and parcel the source for the road to recovery from this evil Yetzer Harah that I have.  In my senior year in college when I was already listening to shiurim (lectures on Torah), I was assigned to write a big english paper by the Professor of this advanced English course.  The topic was supposed to adhere to the theme of the course dealing with individual's rights in media and advertisement or something of the like.  I had chosen to write a paper entitled "Worshipping the Stars" basically bashing in a very eloquent way the whole entertainment industry (TV, Movies and their actors).  I don't mean to get into a political debate with this, but rather to indicate that this was a paper that gave me further inspiration to start breaking my addiction to TV.  During this time I also started devoting some time to learning Gemarah and as my interest in learning increased my need or interest to watch television decreased and eventually disappeared.  Additionally, I was introduced to a very dear Rabbi who I am still close to today who helped me eventually leave secular studies and devote my life to Torah study...more later about this.  (Please note that I am too ashamed to speak with him about my issue...that's why I'm here spilling my beans for the first time.)
My behaviour continued as I moved onto a certain professional graduate school.  By then, I was basically white shirt and black pants and pretty frum already.  Please take note, that I was part of a class composed of mostly non-jews and non-frum jews that made me stand out.  The spring and summer seasons in that university was herendous in terms of the female classmates dress code.  But Baruch Hashem I was without exception Shomer Negiah (this goes for most of my life).  However, that wasn't enough to deter me from observing the wrong things on the internet.

By the end of the first year in the university, the build up of pressure to try to break out of my addiction combined with an ever stronger desire to learn more Torah was instrumental in me deciding to take a year off to learn in Israel.  I thought that this was the answer to my addiction and everything would go away.  I was wrong because after a few months of being in the Yeshivah in Israel, I would get occasional strong imaginatory image flashes in my mind from what I had observed on the internet...which caused me great anguish.  I never acted upon it though in terms of masturbating or the like.

Incidentally, I realized my place in life and called my school while in Israel to cancel my attendance in the university.  That was my Kabalas Hatorah for Shavuos of that year.  Please do note the Hashgacha here...PART OF THE REASON I AM A BEN TORAH TODAY IS BECAUSE OF THE ADDICTION. IT WAS ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS WHY I CHOSE TO DEVOTE MYSELF TO LEARNING IN THE FIRST PLACE FOR I THOUGHT THIS WOULD RID ME OF THE PROBLEM.  Now, I will not say that my thinking was a complete failure for my habits have weakened considerably with time.

To make this already long story shorter, after a 1 year and a 1/2 of being in Israel (of course "sober") I fell once again, into my bad habits after two months back in the states.  Meanwhile, of course I  was continuing to study in Yeshivah while struggling on my own to overcome my problem.  Eventually, I found a shidduch (which by then I was a few months "sober") and married (B"H).  However, as the Yetzer Harah never gives up, I had an internet capable phone and low and behold I fell into the same slump only now married and shocked that I had fallen once again after about 8 months of being sober.

So now, I am B"H still married (my wife has no clue I have this issue) and two kids later with the same problem.  So here is my situation for which I am currently seeking advice on what my next step should be in closing this gap which I will try to explain to you now. 
[i]I have worked extremely hard in overcoming this monster that I have within me.  On the one hand I have managed to control my eyes while walking the streets to much significance (this is on my good days.  But when I fall, I notice that it is harder to practice Shmiras Ha'einayim).  One of the methods I employ is learning a sefer while walking (it's a gift that Hashem gave me).  TV for me is no longer a challenge for I have absolutely no interest in it at all.  Also, I don't desire anymore to surf the net for shmutz per say.  All of this has been accomplished with Hashem's help with two seforim (books) that I am currently learning:  קדושת החיים which is an encyclopedic work that deals with almost all aspects of shmiras ha'einayim sourced from the torah and chazal and our past and present chachamim and also a pocket-size handbook called והאר ענינו which encourages one to be a Shomer einayim...both are in Hebrew.  I highly, highly recommend them to all of you.

However, there is  remaining (significant) problem which has weakened my ability to fight it a bit.  It is very hard for me to describe, though, without going into more detail.  Since they are details that are more personal to me and may be more graphic in the sense of what precisely is my challenge, I don't know whether to share it here or elsewhere on a different forum because, as  I mentioned before I am seeking sound advice on how to close this gap.
PLEASE ADVICE TO THE ABOVE ACCORDINGLY.  I also welcome any other comments or questions regarding my story above.  Thanks for listening patiently.

KH welcome. Your story at least the addict part of it is similar to mine and many others here. The first thing you need to do is to get a filter and preferably and accountability software. Have your read the GYE handbook yet?  It is a wonderful place to start. In addition you should sign up for the daily emails. Hatzlacha and a lichtaga Chanuka knowing that you have taken a major step in turning around your life.

Hi Kedushas Ha'Chaim!

Welcome to the GYE community!

I am fairly new here, just a few months longer than you - so the below is not 'expert advice' or anything like that, just a few observations and words of chizzuk from a fellow 'newbie'.

First off, I really admire your courage in stepping forward, making contact and sharing your story. It is a BIG first step and I"H one of many that you will make along your journey.

In reading your story, there were so many things that I can relate to. Having early fantasies, tv as a launching-pad (in my case - cable-tv with premium channels, but I digress...), finding out that it's a big aveira long after it was an ingrained habit, the ensuing spiritual/physical fight with its highs and lows, and how internet made/makes the battle so much more complicated.

I think you have had many amazing victories and accomplishments. Turning away from darkness and devoting yourself to Hashem & your family, staying clean for a year and a half in Yeshiva despite all that poison, and so many more. Although my path in life is a bit different (I'm somewhat in between Yeshivish and modern, still watch movies on occasion, and have been out of yeshiva & in the working world for close to 15 years) I relate to so much that you've gone through and have profound respect for your strength and accomplishments.

Here are a few observations & thoughts on some specific points in your story. Again - not 'expert advice' but just some words from a fellow traveler who is stumbling along:

kedushashachaim wrote on 03 Dec 2010 01:53:

I hope that you don't take any offense to me saying so - but I think that the fact that you, as a young child, had a natural tendency for "women's athetics" as you call them - is completely healthy and normal. In fact, I would think that if you did NOT have those tendencies, then THAT would be a cause of far greater concern and nisyonos later in life (ve'hameyvin yavin).
Obviously, the fact that as you passed puberty your natural desires/fantasies strengthened and tv became a launching-pad of sorts to for things that eventually led up to habitual HZ"L - is something that is a personal tragedy for you (as it is to me, and most of us here who have gone through it) - BUT please take heart in that you are certainly not alone in this, and we are living in through a very difficult time. This is not in any way to belittle the damage of HZ"L - just to say that I am certain that our struggle and victory is precious to Hashem.

In terms of moving forward - there is so much to be said, and the experts here will surely offer you many warm insights and advice over the coming days. (And I already see that you got the 'welcome package' post from ZemirosShabbas that gives a great explanation on first-steps. Definitely go and skim through the GYE Handbook very soon, as it really organizes things well and solidifies what you need to do)

Some practical points (that were not immediately obvious) to me when I started on my initial GYE voyage:

1. If you want to send a personal message to someone - this is referred to PM'ing someone (as in "PM me"). The way to do this is to click on their profile-name - and in the person's profile there a link to "Send personal message" under the Actions section. On that note, feel free to PM me if you have any questions on starting out (or anything else) 

2. It is very easy to feel overwhelmed when starting out - both on the forum and with GYE in general. I certainly felt this way when first starting out, and in some ways still do relative to how much material is available on the forum. This may not apply to you (in which case please ignore) but if it does - don't give up and keep posting. This problem FEEDS on isolation & self-loathing, and no matter how much progress you feel you may be making on your own (for example - and this is obviously a simplification: the Yetzer Hora is very likely to completely leave you alone for a few weeks or even a few months - just to get you to think you don't need to keep active on the forum/community). While it's hard to make that "First Post", I can tell you that in some ways it can be even harder to keep in contact with people after the first one or two weeks of excitement wear off, and all those warm greetings begin to subside... You definitely should use these first few weeks of strength to establish connections with people here and get good advice, but independent of how that goes - never give up and keep posting your thoughts and struggles!

3. It's a very good idea to physically 'speak' to someone experienced - over the phone - very early on. You may have already done this - but if not, take a look at the hotline section (http://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/hotline/Hotline.asp). While you will get tons of great advice and chizuk from the people here on the forum - I personally found that speaking to a live voice on the phone is a completely different experience & is very helpful when starting out.

4. Something that took me several months to understand is that much of the advice, tools/treatment-options, chizuk/attitude, etc - both on this forum and the GYE website overall - boils down two core-categories:

Advice&Approaches for those who are Addicted (or borderline Addicted)
vs.
Advice&Approaches for those who have occasional problems or a bad habit - but are not really addicted.

You will read a lot on this forum regarding stopping to fight against it, let-go, and realize that Hashem is really in control. This is excellent advice for everyone on some level - but it is far more aimed-at/essential to people that are Addicts. The classic Torah/Mussar/Tefillah approach that you are taking using קדושת החיים and והאר ענינו is essentially relevant to people in the non-addict category (and if you are in that category - I would recommend you check out the Tikkun HaYesod section in Sefer Beis of Taharas Hakodesh for a healthy and practical take on Teshuva for this).

For myself, I had started out thinking that I was 'mildly' addicted but was really in the second category - but could fight this with a more classical CheshbonHenefesh/Tikkun approach. Why did I join GYE? Mainly for the group support & treatment tools (like phone groups, 90-chart, tapsik, etc). However, recently - with much help and patience from people here - I have come to understand that I really do have a serious addiction and that, while wanting to look at & think about (as you put it) 'women's athetics' in all their permutations - is how my addiction manifests itself - it is really rooted in a deeper general LUST addiction (i.e. desiring things in general) - and that itself is rooted in a deep, subconsious distrust of Hashem and feeling that the world is always against me. So I have decided to join a 12-step group. (Sorry to go on-an-on about myself... I thought an example would be good to illustrate what I was abstractly describing).

Obviously I have no idea if you have an addiction or not. Furthermore, what 'Addicted' actually means, the grey area between 'borderline-Addicted' and a 'bad habit', the topic of porn-addiction vs. lust-addiction - are all topics that heads greater than me should explain when/if it becomes relevant for you. However, the thing you wrote:
kedushashachaim wrote on 03 Dec 2010 01:53:

make me wonder whether you may have something deeper to probe. You should definitely discuss the 'remaining (significant) problem' with someone here (perhaps the phone hotline or a PM if you don't feel comfortable posting to the public thread) so you can get clarity and further advice. (In addition, if the problem that you're referring is in any way related to your married life - there is a Baalei-Battim forum that you can get access to upon request. PM one of the admins like Kedusha or Guard if you want access)

Wow - that was a long post... and all I had meant to do was just say "hi and welcome"  ;D : sorry if it was rambling - but these are some thoughts on things I would tell myself if I could time-warp a few months back (ok who am kidding - if I could do that, I'd be very busy giving myself investment advice... err... ahem... I digress)

Anyways - Hatzlacha Rabba, Lichtige Channuka, Tizku LeMitzvois, and
let's grow together!!!

Post away

Read all of DOvs stuff he is a gaon

Read bardichevs battle (it is very long)

Read harrys son (yoosef hatzadik combined it so look up the last few posts in the thread its there)

If u like to drink we have that too

If u like yiddish (willy BP bardstown)

We have that too

Keep on trucking

B

Thank you all for your responses and especially Naftali Z. for taking the time to address a few points.  It was really thoughtful of you...
I have looked at the GYE Handbook but I'm not ready for it just yet because I would like to PM an "expert" first about my "remaining" issue...

Can someone please recommend to me an expert who I can PM about my specific issue and I'll BE"H see where I can move forward next...thanks.

Please note that using the phone hotline or phone groups, though they may be the most helpful, is not an option for me because I wouldn't have privacy from family members (esp. my wife who does not know that I have this issue).  So I am kind of relying on private messaging, using this forum, and/or any helpful tools from GYE whenever I may have  a free moment like early in the morning or late at night when all are sleeping.  thanks for understanding.

One final point is that my daily involvement in learning torah full time is a great and probably one of the major factors why my addiction has been tamed to a significant degree.  As the Gemarah speaks out בראתי יצ"ה בראתי לו תורה תבלין (i.e. that the only antidote to the Yetzer is Talmud Torah.  This means that without a constant involvement in Torah learning one couldn't stand a chance.  When I am learning well on any particular day, I am practically oblivious to my addiction...I don't even think about it twice.  My hope is that utilizing the tools here (once I am directed and helped by an expert by my specific issue) will help me close the gap which I have trouble doing myself.
Looking forward to your responses...
Afrailachem Channukah and a Good Shabbos

Welcome to the Forum!  Lots of luck.  Just stick around, keep on posting.  That's a good start.

kedushashachaim wrote on 03 Dec 2010 13:42:


Frankly, you might just want to post your question here first, and see what happens.

You've got to be specific enough that people might be able to help you, but don't delve into the specifics too much so as not to trigger anyone.

Look around some other threads, you'll get the idea.

Besides that, if you write anything too explicit someone will just tell you and you can change your message afterwards, or they will notify one of the moderators and they'll just do a little editing.

LOTS OF LUCK!

CHANUKAH SAMEACH!

--Eye.
 

Welcome! I am the admin of the forum... (I printed out your story - and Naftali's answer - and read it over Melava Malka  ;D)

You seem to be doing pretty well - thank G-d!

As Naftali Z. pointed out, you may not have an addiction per-se. But you definitely do need more chizuk and group support, and that is something you will surely get over here on GYE.

Feel free to PM me, or send an e-mail to eyes.guard@gmail.com if you want to talk about specific problems/issues you may have.

Welcome Reb Yid,

I read whole story. For the time being I suggest you post away and share your story, your struggles, your hopes and victories. This will help you gain more perspective on you struggle.

Also put  a filter and webchaver on your computer.

Also study the handbooks like a piece of gemara.

Feel free to PM.

I will add that I do not know if learning about kedushas hachaim and shimeras eyneim is the path. I found the I need to gain awareness of my habits with this issue, change my thinking about it (HANDBOOKS) and take steps that work (HANDBOOKS).

Also talking to live people is scary but is very helpful

I see that a few of you have commented on my recommendation for והאר ענינו and קדושת החיים.  Honestly, I have to rephrase the statement I had made regarding them.  I stated:



It wasn't completely accurate -- (I was writing this about 3 am and I was very very tired by then...so I didn't realize till your responses what I had actually had said).  So please let me correct myself.  What I mean to say is not that it is the sole method by which I was fighting it, but rather that it helps me at least to keep the ideas I learn from them in mind.  So even when I fall, I know, or at least hope, that the penetrating words of Chazal or the Divrei Chizuk in those seforim will help me get back on my feet faster...or at least encourage me not to give up (i.e. throw in the towel) when I am down (even down deep).  So far they have helped me in this respect.  However, I do agree that they are not the sole solution.  [Proof is I am here with you all sharing my ideas and feelings for the first time after about 30 years of battling this on my own!!!]
Secondly, with regard to posting my specific problem, I am taking it in steps so as not to get overwhelmed.  Therefore, I will speak over with the admin and I'll also ask him how exactly to share it with you to seek your advice/comments as well as for the תועלת הרבים in general.

FINALLY, I WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR KIND WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT AND COMMENTS...I HAVE GOTTEN MORE COMFORTABLE WITH SHARING WITH YOU AND I AM STARTING TO REALIZE THE VALUE OF SHARING WITH A GROUP WHO SHARE THE "SAME BOAT" WITH ME.  I FEEL BETTER KNOWING THAT I NO LONGER HAVE TO BE "COUPED UP INSIDE" TIZKU LEMITZVOT VE'CHAZAK VE'EMATZ!!!!

P.S. How do I quote from a particular post so that it will show from whom I am quoting from?

Welcom kedushas Hachaim

kedushashachaim wrote on 03 Dec 2010 13:42:


Reb Tzadok Hakohen in Pri Tzadik mentions the above chaza"l but he adds that there is another chaza"l "Yitzroy shel odom mis'chadesh olov bechol yoim, ilmoley hakodosh boruch hu oizroy loy yochol loy" which seems like contradicting the first chaza"l which states that torah is enough.
He explains that for the YH which Hashem created it would be enough to overcome with torah alone. But the YH himself is adding more nissyonos and difficulties which even with the torah it is impossible to overcome. The only solution for the second YH is  Tefilloh, to ask Hashem to help us with that struggle as we are powerless. Thats the "ilmoley hakodosh boruch hu oizroy loy yochol loi" Without Hashem's help (of course after taking the first antidote of Torah) we don’t stand a chance.

One more thing: To be tomid besimcha also helps loads..

kedushashachaim wrote on 05 Dec 2010 13:03:


The problem we are struggling with THRIVES ON ISOLATION.  Getting out of isolation is a major part of recovery!

BTW, to quote someone, instead of choosing "reply," choose, "quote."

tomid besimcha wrote on 05 Dec 2010 13:35:


Thank you for that very important addition...  it was quite insightful and of course very true.  And frankly, without סיעתא דשמיא in anything we do, we don't stand a chance!!!  Wish you all as well as myself סיעתא דשמיא in our endeavors to overcome our Yetzer as well as in all other aspects of our lives, amen.