Hi everyone,

I found this place by accident. I heard a shiur where it was mentioned that the Mashiach could be a baal teshuvah himself (food for thought!) so I typed in something like "mashiach baal teshuva" in Google and a post somewhere on this forum showed up.

My story is the typical one you've all heard before. Exposed to porn at an early age (11 ish), broken home, some abuse, rejection, abandonment, unable to stop my problem for many years, etc etc.

So I decided to join this forum. I also decided to get rid of my Internet since I don't really need it anyway. There are public options in my neighborhood if I must use it. Besides, I'll quit wasting time even on 'neutral' things, and maybe I'll get some projects done! Now, obviously, I don't want to be on this website in public. So my plan is:

stay here for a month
GET AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER
ditch teh interwebz after that month

Now, I realize that limiting internet access in such a way that it is impossible to misuse the internet does not solve the problem. But what it does do is give me space to work on the problem. There's an article posted somewhere where R' Twerski writes that Moshe Feinstein wrote that the only way to resist tumah is kedusha. If you are learning Torah to try to build a spiritual armor and spear, you won't get very far if you still have unrestricted internet. (SPEAR = when Pinchas takes a spear, it is spelled without a vav for gematria 248 - there are 248 mitzvot aseh, right? It's not enough to avoid evil;, you have to "attack" it by being proactive)

What most fascinates and terrifies me about this problem is that it goes against everything I want and believe in and yet I can do it anyway. Even if I manage to stay away for a time, it comes back. The strongest motivation in the world is not enough to stay away. One look at an inappropriate site is enough to bring it all crashing back.
but I suppose there is some solace in the idea that the greater the man, the bigger his yetzer. Dr. Patrick Carnes noted that a disproportionate number of the men who come to him are highly intelligent. He speculates that it is because they are better at constructing and 'feeling' fantasy, but I'll bet what he's seeing is the phenomenon of a greater man having a greater yetzer.

It took me a long time to admit defeat. I am extremely stubborn. But when I saw here something that is mentioned over and over, and forms the foundation of any 12-step program - namely that we are in fact powerless, no ifs ands or buts - then I had to face up to the ugly reality that I am in fact not in control. Just because it isn't nearly as bad as it once was doesn't mean I am okay or clear. But now that I know I've been trying to push an immovable object, I can proceed and the very stubbornness that precluded my ability to recover will now be the very thing that will guarantee my eventual success. It's not a matter of if, but when.

Well, that's me. the biggest thing here is I need an accountability partner. That's why I signed up. Isn't it fascinating that we let ourselves down so much more readily than we let down others? I know of one successful athlete who uses the power of accountability. He tells everyone that he will accomplish something. Once that's out, he better live up to his word, or else he's a liar or just too lazy and everybody will know it. The only option, then, is success. It's a burn your bridges strategy. So is getting rid of internet. If I can't go back, the only way to go is forward.

Hi mightyone and welcome. If you're going to be giving up the internet you may want to consider one of the phone groups. Dovid Chaim's group just started again this week. Also if you haven't already done so download the handbooks. Finally, if you'll still have access to email then sign up for the daily emails. The point is while the forum is invaluable there are so many other benefits and options offered by GYE. Hatzlacha and welcome. You've come to the right place. 

Welcome aboard, u did a brave thing, with admitting u r powerless, and so are we all, the ones who don't admit, are just living in fantasy land! That's already a gr8 move! Giving up the internet puts u ahead of the game quiet a bit! And if u can do it, kol hakavod! Although its not the final step to be clean, it certainly helps u focus more on ur life, learning torah is even better that both of the above, the torah is a special treatment for many things especially our problem,but will of that, we need to work a program,and the best fool proof one is the 12 Steps! We just got 2 new groups here, u can hop on to either one, or even combine them as per ur schedule fits best, Speaking of Rabbi Twerski, I know that he's highly speaking of the 12 Steps as the most powerful recovery route! So stay with us, and together we will get it history
Hatzlucha

Welcome MightyOne.
Thanks for sharing all those valuable yesodos with us and allowing us a peak into our life.

Hatzlacha Raba.

Hi Mightyone,

I am the admin of this forum. Welcome to our community!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

One of our goals on GYE is to help people "hit bottom while still on top" so they will take recovery seriously. To explain better what I mean, please see this page. If you're here, it means you're already taking serious steps in recovery, so keep up the good work!

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. The lay down the cornerstone of all our work at GuardYourEyes. Before the GYE handbook people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, someone with a low level addiction wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences", putting in filters etc... For the first time ever, this handbook details all the techniques and tools dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now, anyone can read it through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook to the next tools, as the suggestions become progressively more "addiction-oriented".

We suggest printing out the handbooks and reading it them at least once. Then, we suggest going back and reading them again slowly on the computer, and this time pressing on the many links that are found in the different articles.

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

Using the twelve steps is how we overcome our addiction.  For more info about the 12 steps and different 12 step programs, email me at workingmyprogram@gmail.com.  Hatzlocha!