Thank you Professor Chancy, your thoughtful words are always on target and impact-full! 

On a different note, אין שמחה כהתרת הספיקות. I just got something cleared out of the way, and even though it will cost me a pretty penny, a lot of stress rolled of my chest...

Ty"h, day 33 successful. 

Happy Lag Be'omer!!!

Let's do a family trip to Miron. Who's coming?

Also, looking for some good people to connect with (preferably some who managed to break free for a while). RN I'm not in touch with anybody from the GYE family, except through this thread, my only one.

Yossef, I just read through your long story here… Whoa! You’re a true Mesiras Nefesh kind of guy!

I’ve been touched by too many posts in too short a time—so many ups, downs, and ups again. But wow… I’m proud of you! You’ve done better than so many others on this platform. You’re a legit Yossef HaTzadik—that name fits you perfectly!

33 days?!! Woof… when will I get there? That’s HIGH. HUGE. HOLY.

I’m looking up to you—please take me along on this ride, brother. Keep going strong! You’re my role model, and I need you to keep guiding me along the way.

Fly over to Miron—at least virtually! Sing Bar Yochai—I’m singing along, we’re all singing together with you! You’ve got a huge Oilem, hands clapping, your fire burning in the center, sparks flying up to the sky!

hollyari wrote on 12 Aug 2025 00:51:

Thank you for reading through my thread 

Gives me tremendous chizzuk that people are following my journey. 

And if you're looking for a true role model, check out Jewizard's thread. A true role model for me! He's getting married soon.

I totally agree that its super outdated and very confusing and complicated, GYE is o valuable to be not user friendly, we would live an update and revamp to this life changing site:blush:

Exactly my point!!
As a single in mid 20's, its kind of hard for me to truly understand what married people go thru, (I heard its way harder than when single)
BUT! you guys do get to be intimate, you guys of get to release (B'hetter), you guys have love, touch etc. while we singles have zero, we are expected to go into monk mode! 

Im not comparing or judging, its just truly hard for me (and probably most singles) to understand how it is even comparable...
When A married guy is "clean" its with s*x and release, whereas a single is clean, it's basically being a monk!
Would love to chat @yosefthetzadik

puremind wrote on 12 Aug 2025 12:58:

Shalom Brother,

I hear where you are coming from, and this topic has been discussed if you want to search around the forums for past responses.

Firstly, yes - it is hard for singles.

But, why do you think so many married guys are here on GYE?
Lust is hungry, and you can't satisfy it by devouring your wife. Not to mention (shouldn't it be 'yes to mention'?) all the damage that that causes. 

The need for release is fake news. We create that feeling after indulging in pleasure-seeking activities that hijack our brain chemistry. 

This nisayon is challenging for everyone. Being a "monk" is hard. Having marriage stress, kid stress, parnassa stress, in-law stress, rejection, misalignment, and many other factors don't help either, sex notwithstanding. 

As a single on GYE, what you have is an opportunity to tackle lust before it blurs its way into your marital bedroom. How fortunate for you!

I highly recommend schmoozing with a few of the mentors here to clarify for yourself where love, touch, and intimacy are one thing (relationship and bonding), while masturbation, porn, and looking are quite another (lusting and taking).

Also highly recommend reaching out to J Wiz who got clean while single and now has the tremendous, hard-fought and well-earned bracha to start his marriage both mentally and physically kadosh. He'll be the first to tell you that it's not easy, but he applied himself to learn, understand, and live the appropriate way - a testament and inspiration for all of us to see someone that seeks truth and does not back down from the fight for what is right. 

L'maskana, everyone has personal and circumstantially harder things to deal with. They also have their G-d given kochos to deal with it. They also have their own tikkun and shleimus to reach by giving it their best shot. 

You are here now. Do what you can do now. Don't wait for anything else. Today is yesterday's tomorrow. This right now is your challenge exactly how it's meant to be. Easier, harder, or the same, it is yours.

BenHashemBH wrote on 12 Aug 2025 14:57:

Gosh darn it! 
You are goooooooood!!!
Agree * infinity.

IMHO, all these married guys in the forum - they used to be single guys, they went through the challenges your are having. 

Hatzlacha!