Sorry, was interrupted so couldn't finish my previous post.
I personally exercise, play music, listen to music, and read a lot. Also I barely have time to breath. I have found that sometimes a sense of boredom in yeshiva can come from not feeling connected and excited about the learning that I'm doing in seder. Is this something that you've noticed? If not then just try to fill up your schedule with things you enjoy and care about. I found that it helped to be productive not just "fill my time", and relaxing and enjoying is part of being productive.
As always, Hatzlacah Rabbah!

And another idea that just popped into my head to share, if you're not taking care of things you should be doing, start doing that. Make a to do list and check things off. Life is busy for everyone, everyone has many things they B'etzem should be doing but ignore and push off, try viewing yourself as the super awesome accomplishing person that you are (v'ha raiyah you are working on overcoming a tremendous abttle and making headway) and get to work taking completing the other myriad of positive and productive things you could/should be doing.

Today was a rough day. Super unproductive, my mind was out of control still clean though! Hopefully tomorrow will be better

sunnyswan6 wrote on 15 Dec 2024 23:01:

You may have meant it just to grump but you really complimented yourself. The hardest times to stay clean is at moments that your unproductive and don't feel good about yourself. Keep it up buddy!

Inspired by @amevakesh who told me the same when I posted that I was unproductive.

Day 45 - halfway there!

WOW!!!
Super accomplishment!
I get chizuk seeing your posts on your progress. I am sure there are others who feel the same!
Keep it up!!

60 days clean!!!
Honestly never thought this was possible, but here I am. For some reason, the past week was super easy, not sure why. Almost at my goal, which feels amazing, have to keep reminding myself to take it one day at a time. 
For the next 2 weeks im gonna challenge myself to be careful with shmiras einayim in general, something that I don't know if I've ever done. Being in Israel it's harder for some reason, but I'm gonna try

sunnyswan6 wrote on 01 Jan 2025 11:51:

Wow you are a gibbor! 

I saw earlier that you wrote it's easier because you are in Israel. Now you are writing that it's harder because you are in Israel! 
Us (ex) pervs, have conflicting thoughts! I'm glad it's not only me! 
May Hashem help you continue on your amazing journey. 
Ah freilichen zos Chanukah (it's almost lighting time in Israel)

I meant the struggle with porn is easier, but regular shmiras einayim feels much harder

sunnyswan6 wrote on 01 Jan 2025 12:40:

Yup. It's a tough challenge

sunnyswan6 wrote on 01 Jan 2025 12:40:

Shalom Brother,

Yaasher Koach on 60 days! That's an incredible accomplishment!

Could you elaborate on those feelings? what specifically about shemiras einayim feels harder? 

Kol tov

Starting to think that this kabbalah was a bad idea. Used to be I would see something and that was it, sometimes I fell sometimes not, now it became a huge focus and I think about it much more. I'm still going to finish my Kabalah but I think it's more harmful than not

sunnyswan6 wrote on 06 Jan 2025 13:47:

I applaud your self-awareness. Everyone is different and you have to find the things that work for you.

Perhaps you might try a more positive angle? When you don't look, try to acknowledge that success and say a quick tefilla. "Thank you Hashem and please continue to help me choose kedusha when I can." 

Hatzlacha and Kol Tov. 

sunnyswan6 wrote on 06 Jan 2025 13:47:

I hear you completely. 
A little while back I made an internal kabbala (b"n) to be completely clean in all inyanei kedusha. (Obviously p & m but shmiras einayim and shmiras hamachshava as well) I went 12 days but I felt it was too much pressure with other stressful things going on in my life. I stopped the kabala though not stopping the zehirus in these inyanim and it definitely relieved the pressure somewhat. A kabala is a good thing as long as it works for you internally. If not try to continue to be careful without it. You might find it easier to deal with the nisayon without the added pressure of a kabala that can sometimes feel like an all or nothing game.
Hatzlacha!

Day 70!!
I can't believe I got this far after nearly ten years of struggling with this. It has gotten easier over the past few weeks. And only 3 days left till my horrible Kabalah