Hey R' gyefeller, so happy to hear that, you're 100% for 30+ days, that's something that you definitely should celebrate, you should treat yourself with something that has significant meaning to you, it's important to keep yourself focused on your wins and the positive, and treat yourself for them. 

And please don't say that you don't deserve it because you were in yeshiva which is a sheltered place, because the mind can be in any place in the whole wide world at any given time, for free, so sometimes the imaginations and fantasies can be worse than the real thing, so if you managed to shelter your mind as well, then you deserve every ounce of that treat.

Keep it up and keep us posted.
With admiration and love your brother Akiva 

You are an inspiration!
More then that. I am in awe of you!
Keep it up!

thank you:blush:

Holy Buchur,
You're nothing short of a hero!! Please make yourself a huge (off shabbos?) breakfast tomorrow as a celebration!! Every ounce of work you are putting into this fight is going to help you and stand with you as a you continue to develop tremendously during these formative years!! Hotzlacha Raba and keep up the great work!!

i just fell in m:cry:
it wasn't such a bad fall, bec it was very short and i gave tzedakah right after etc.
but i hope the banquet breakfast still applies:grimacing:. i hope i can just ignore this fall and continue on my sober streak iy"h

The banquet breakfast, still applies 100% because you achieved 30+ days from when you started till now.

As far as going forward, you're still doing great, lets say you've had 33 days, minus now 1 day so going forward you have 32 days, as HHM says if you climb a mountain, and trip along the way, you don't fall down to ground level, you just trip, but pick yourself back up and continue onwards, or another example is, the guy who dieted, and lost 50 pounds, then one day he over ate and gained back a pound, he's still at 49 pounds less than where he was when he started, he didn't regain all 50 pounds.

So please, my dear brother, TREAT YOURSELF TO THAT BANQUET BREAKFAST, don't give up keep your spirits high, and KOMT!!!

With love Akiva

Wow You are AMAZING!! Celebrate this massive win Tzadik

How are you doing brother?

Just discovered this phenomenal thread!

How are you gyefeller?

Muttel

i'm doing great B"H! trying hard to stay in check and feeling optimistic.

hi, guys
hope your all doing great
i've had this feeling lately of 'i never will be perfect, and hashem doesn't expect it of me, rather he wants me to try my best'
but then i think 'well, if i am going to fall, who said that this crazy urge is 'passable', maybe this situation is impossible for me not to slip'
so obviously you can't think that (thought #2) before a fall bec otherwise you will fall, but how can i give myself chizuk after a fall
if my mindset just was (=before the fall) 'i am expected to pass every challenge'? i feel like it's too opposite for my brain to go back from one to the other...

before you answer just know that thought #1 has given me a lot of chizuk/strength to go on after a fall, but now that i'm thinking too much i'm (or the YH is getting me) a little unsure of how it actually works

if you can please help me understand what and how i should think ALWAYS, before and after a fall it would be very much appreciated
thank you guys!

p.s. i didn't articulate my thoughts so clearly so if you have any questions on what i said please ask

Maybe turn off this analyzing section of your brain for a few days so you can stop tormenting yourself. Evaluating and analyzing usually are not so beneficial. Best is to get up in the morning and after modeh ani, for a split second say, "Hashem wants me to be clean today, so that is what i am going to do with His help". And that's it. No focus on this at all for the rest of the day. Do not make this the centerpiece of your davening either. When you say in birchas hashachar that Hashem should help you not come to nisyonos (v'lo li'yedei nisayon), again for a split second have this inyan in mind and then enjoy a beautiful davening of praising Hashem and asking for all the bakashos that Chazal were kove'ah in davening. Hatzlocha buddy. May Hashem give you menuchas hanefesh.

gyefeller wrote on 08 Jan 2025 03:58:

Shalom Brother,
What is your definition of 'perfect'? Hashem wants you to try, as you said, and perhaps that is perfectly perfect enough?
I don't think expectations are the way to go. Hashem doesn't ask for, nor does he need perfection - He already has malachim for that. Desire and effort to get close is what is precious to Him. 

Impossible is outside your jurisdiction. Trying to figure out what qualifies is an exercise in futility, because siyata diShmaya makes anything possibly possible. 

Keep trying, and if need be, keep trying to try. Falling does not negate the fighting, so there is no contradiction. Before a nisayon Hashem wants you. During a nisayon Hashem wants you. And after a nisayon Hashem wants you.


Thank you for the well wishes and have a great day! Kol Tov

thank you guys!
i like both your answers, it reminds me of way back when for some time i decided that this is a normal challenge- like bittul torah and you gotta try very hard not to slip. that's it. no 'but if i do...' or 'i will eventually slip..'.
i don't know what happened to that mindset, it got lost a while ago, but now is definitely the time to work on a good mindset
like hhm said 'don't give the YH too much attention, your normal and focus on other areas of your day' (-or at least that's how i read it)
and like bhbh said 'don't judge yourself on the past (and say i'm spiritually totaled [like a car...]), just think that i'm on a marathon and Hashem is telling me 'you got this! don't focus on the falls, keep running. i see the bigger picture- in which you are a winner!''
thank you both for these great 'viewpoints', IY"H i will try to engrain them in my brain  

i have no clue how to use the emojis, hence above:)