Hello everybody,

I have been browsing on this website for 2 weeks and have decided to introduce myself. I grew up in a traditional/modern home and discovered P&M when I was around 12 years old and was doing it almost all the time until I became more frum around 2 years ago. I have tried to get rid of it, and I drastically decreased my falls, but have not been able to beat the YH yet. I was very inspired by many of your posts and decided that sharing my journey could help. I'm open to any advice or chizuk from all of you and my PM's are also wide open (although they do not seem to work).
Part of he reason I decided to post is because I wanted to start the 90 day challenge and I am on a 12 day streak except that earlier this afternoon I looked briefly at a few inapropriate thumbnails on youtube (nothing happened), does this count as a fall? For me I would have counted it as a slip but idk how it is defined here.
Also facing difficult times because I am currently working remote, I am alone at home, with the work computer that I cant filter (If anyone has tips for this situation)

Anyways looking forward to beat the YH, bzH !!!

Welcome to the family, you came to the right place and kol hakavod for coming out and introducing yourself. Here you will find people who understand your struggle and have lots of experience with helping you move in the right direction.

In terms of your question about what's called a fall, I'm no expert but I would think that youtube is not considered a fall officially, but from experience it's a very slippery slope from there... especiallywith an unfiltered device. Most of us would say that being alone with an unfiltered device is a recipe for disaster.

I would try anything to put some sort of (even temp) filter on the device and have it removed when you return it to the company, I imagine that there's a way, perhaps someone can chime in on ideas. If all else fails, I would advise not opening that computer unless it's in a public place, ie starbucks, library etc. The same way you wouldn't put an alcoholic alone in the same room as a bottle of whiskey, you can't put a frum Jew in the same room as an unfiltered device (this imho is wheteher he is an addict or not). 

Much hatzlacha to you on your journey

Hey welcome! 

You came to the right place. GYE is a community of people working together to help each other beat the YH. Sounds like you'll fit right in

It sounds like you've made tremendous progress on your own. That is truly impressive and you should pat yourself on the back for having come so far. 

Stick around and check out some of the excellent resources on the site. See the Flight to Freedom program to help you learn about your struggle and some powerful tools to help you fight, and the excellent book the Battle of the Generation to help you reframe the struggle as an opportunity. (Links are in my signature.) The most powerful resource is of course the chevra. Connect to friends, find a mentor, and keep on fighting.

The 90 day chart has official rules - I'm pretty sure looking at Youtube thumbnails for a second doesn't violate them. That being said, many guys have found Youtube to be a very slippery slope and that cutting out youtube was a huge help.

I relate to your work computer issue very strongly. My work computer was a huge issue for me until one day, with endless support from the guys here, I put on my big boy pants and asked my boss for permission to install a filter. Guess what happened?

I got fired.

That's a joke. I didn't get fired, it was no big deal, and I installed the filter. The filter has been a huge help. Putting on my big boy pants and asking was also important (for me, at that stage. Happy to schmooze about that more if you'd like.) In short, in might be more possible to put on the filter than you think.

Until that point, there are browser extensions that are helpful. Wizimage that will block all images, and there are various site blocking extensions you can use to block specific sites. Because they work on the browser, not the computer, and are so easy to remove, they are more just temporary stopgaps to help you in the short term (though Wizimage is very helpful in general).

Although filters are a very important tool, it's doable to get clean with consistent use of unfiltered internet. That's because the change works on you, not on the computer. But why make life harder for yourself?

Hatzlacha and keep on trucking!

Welcome to the GYE fam!
GYE is the right place to beat this monster!

Read around through the threads, there's a wealth of information hidden away in them.
As mentioned, The Battle of the Generation is a tremendous tool in the working through the struggle.
Another tool, when you are ready, is to connect with some of the guys from here. (For me, it was and still is, a large part of my journey to freedom and cleanliness.)

(If I may be so bold as to recommend that you reach out to Hashem Help Me - HHM - who is the mentor-in-chief around here. He has helped hundreds brake free, present company included.He is one of the warmest, caring people you will probably ever speak to. But if you're not ready, take your time.

Either way,
KOMT!!