They don't allow phones, period. Phones have to be given in to the hanhalah, and they give it back over the weekends.


I have relatives I might be able to use a computer by, but I'm not interested in doing these things behind my yeshiva's back.


Such a thing is assur gamur, and you should be embarrassed to suggest this k'ilu it's a perfectly legitimate option.


I would've never thought of that by myself.

By the way, in the little that I did email mentors, I spoke about all these points.

tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 02 Sep 2024 01:29:

I am happy to hear that you got in touch with mentors. I'm a bit confused maybe I wasn't clear but why is it assur to use a library or college computer for GYE?

Maybe to clarify, I was enrolled in said college at the time, I would not suggest using private computers without permission.

It may also be that we are from different spectrums of the yeshivishe velt, if so I'm sorry if it bothered you and hope you weren't offended. There are many guys on GYE who come from different backgrounds and have different views and standards on various hashkafic topics and we sometimes forget that what is a davar pashut to one may be, as you said, assur gamur to another. But we are all here to get clean and escape the difficult nisyonos we face and are trying to help each other along the way. Please take all (or at least all of my) advice with a grain of salt.

I'm sorry, maybe I was jumping to conclusions, but I never heard of college or library computers that are filtered.

you were not incorrect, the computers were not filtered and that is why it is not pashut to do and requires a lot of figuring out (logistics), for myself I was able to figure it out, but if you don't think it will work for you then it's not a good plan. regarding your relatives, %100 nothing should be done behind your yeshivas back, if they have rules/an understanding that you won't have access to the internet while in the yeshivah then you have to ask the hanhalah first, which I'm sure is something you have talked to mentors about and have made a decision about how/when/or if you will do. 
This is definitely one of the more tricky parts of GYE but Iy"h you will have a great zman and continue to grow in this area as well as in your general learning and yiddishkeit. Please feel free to contact me to talk more, my info is in my signature. Hatzlachah rabbah!

I'm torn between wanting to rip you apart because you're annoying, and having rachmanus beacause I feel bad for you.

I sent you a private message and am taking this discussion of this thread. This thread is very valuable and asked a critical question which plagues many bachuring going into the zman and I don't want to get it side tracked. Does anyone else have further eitzos for accessing GYE during the zman? What about that help hotline IWLR (and maybe also some other guys, I lose track how many amazing people are doing amazing things on this site) was setting up, any updates?

You probably want a semi-private phone for GYE, so if the Yeshiva dorm shares some sort of public phones, that might be tough.

If you can have any sort of kosher music player, you can prepare a bunch of shiurim. Rabbi Shafier has a good series. You can print out essays to read. You can journal and track your thoughts and progress. You can try to find a special Rebbi to open up to. You can bring a sefer, as others have mentioned The Battle of the Generation and read it daily - take notes on you reflections as you go to help internalize the material for yourself. Reb Guard shared a 50-page document to print and take. Prepare mentally for your perceived challenges and have some strategies in place to aid your success. Don't focus too much on the negative. Try to find positive motivation to fuel your success.

And Daven to Hashem sincerely that you are trying and you need his help. 

Hatzlacha!

Warning: this may sound controversial!
My personal opinion is - take it or leave it - that a Bachur who is in a very yeshivish Yeshiva, where:
1. Sadly in most cases the Hanhala has no understanding of these struggles,
2. Or even if they do, but they are judgmental and it's harmful for your relationship with them if you open up to them, 
3. Or perhaps they just can't make exceptions to their rules...
If any of the above apply then of course a Bachur should do it behind the yeshivas back! Go to your relative (or any Internet hub where there is filtered internet, most frum towns have one) and use their computer to check in to your GYE account. It's פיקוח נפש.
חייך קודמין. It's for your good. For your learning. For your avoidas Hashem.
On this it says in Tehilim אל תהיה צדיק הרבה!

Wishing you and all the Bochurim of GYE an uplifting Elul Zman!
UpAndDown

Thank you upanddown!
As read your post I'm inclined to agree. Yeshivas have blanket rules that are intended to be for the overall best interest.
If you can get kosher access without it affecting the Yeshiva, I'm not saying you should do it, but consider your situation and what you need.

Perhaps ask your previous Rav if you are uncomfortable making that call yourself.

Hatzlacha

tzaddikvikam wrote on 25 Aug 2024 09:24:

i would think (but who am i) dont access the GYE during the zman,  just shteig away!!

download the GYE 150 page bouchrim hand book go through it every day little by little.

hatzlacha in your new yeshiva,

I don't think you should do anything behind the yeshiva's back. Generally speaking, yeshivas understand that bochurim have these struggles and they are there to help. I think that if you share with them what you are doing for GYE or what you want to do and you are looking for ways of being able to do it they will accommodate your needs. I don't know whether they will allow you to go somewhere for computer access but at least they will allow you to use a phone. The yeshiva may have heard about GYE but even if not it won't hurt to educate them about it. If I understand correctly you come home for Shabbos so you can go onto the website on weekends. During the week make an arrangement with the yeshiva that you can use your phone to call mentors and a chavrusa. If you feel uncomfortable talking to the yeshiva about this the day you get there then wait a month before talking to them. If you don't feel comfortable sharing all of your struggles with the yeshiva just say that you struggle with M. There are many very good bochurim who struggle with this and it doesn't say much about the boy's level of Yiras Shamayim or any other measures of how good the bochur is. If anything, when the Yeshiva sees what you are doing for recovery and what GYE has to offer they should be impressed. You might want the yeshiva to first have a basic impression of who you are before you share this with them. Most yeshivas nowadays are aware of these problems and how widespread they are although I am not sure if they are aware of how common it is to watch porn. If the yeshiva insists on you talking to them instead explain everything that there is on GYE, including the toolbox, the Flight to Freedom program, the book and the mentors.

Shalom Brother Yitzchakm,
Thank you for your perspective. One of the maiylos of a public forum is that you get different angles and can choose what's fitting for you.
Kol tov

tzaddikvikam13 wrote on 02 Sep 2024 03:30:

I'd like to apoligize.
Looks like I mixed up hopefulposek and hopefulswan.