Hi everyone. Wow, a lot has changed since I first found out about this site many years ago. I tried to fight against porn addiction but gave up for the past few years. It was easier to pretend that it is ok and that I don't have a problem. Since then it is shocking how far I've fallen. But I want to believe Teshuva is possible. It is funny, because I am not even really Frum anymore. Never the less, it is time to embark on the journey of quitting porn. I hope you can still accept me and help me out. 



Since I came out of denial earlier this summer, the most I've managed is two weeks. Lately its been more like 4 days at a time. Still an improvement over multiple times every day, but I'm hoping I can get to a good long stretch. Yom Kippur coming up is good motivation. Looking forward to hearing from people.  

healingsquirrel71 wrote on 21 Aug 2024 00:17:

Hey, good for you for waking up for your slumber! Youve come in contact with your true inner holy self, that wants to be free of all things distancing itself from hashem. Keep on listening to him. What do you mean by not frum anymore?

By not frum, I mean I don't always keep shabbos or kosher, and I also am agnostic on some of the 13 ikkarim. But I believe in God and am okay practicing Judaism in my own way. So you can call me "OTD", or "liberal jewish" or whatever label fits . I hope this can still be a space for me.

healingsquirrel71 wrote on 21 Aug 2024 05:08:

One step at a time. It is amazing that you have taken steps to overcome porn addiction and that you signed up to GYE. It is worth doing the Flight to Freedom program and the 90 day chart. There is a book called The Battle of the Generation that speaks about how to overcome porn addiction from a Jewish standpoint. Take a look at the book and see whether it speaks to you. You can download it over here:
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation
There is an audiobook and a download button at the end of the page. If it doesn't speak to you then I guess you will have to break free without it.

Are you dealing with any other sexual struggles aside for P&M? If yes, it would be advisable to specify them without going into the little details that can be triggering to others so we can help you. People have come here after going to massage parlors and calling sex lines and many other things so no matter what you are dealing with someone else has already posted about it.

Each one of us on GYE is beloved by Hashem and he takes pleasure in every small step that we take in the right direction. Equally important and more beneficial is to know what we are losing out in our day to day lives on a personal non-spiritual level by watching porn. You will hear more about that in the Flight to Freedom program but I wanted to point out that becoming clean isn't just for spiritual reasons. It is a necessity for our regular healthy living as well. Wishing you success on your journey. Welcome aboard. Continue posting and sharing and make friends.

healingsquirrel71 wrote on 21 Aug 2024 05:08:

GYE is the most non-denominational frum organization out there. 

Primarily because lust is a human problem not a religious problem.

Identify however you want. The only criteria for admission here is a semi-genuine interest in getting clean

Hatzlacha and keep on trucking!

Thanks for your reply! Yes, I have started the flight to freedom program and really like some of the tools I found, like urge surfing. I have started skimming battle of the generation, there is some interesting stuff in there for sure. 

I am not dealing with any sexual struggles other than Porn, but just that by itself is a huge problem for me.

chosemyshem wrote on 21 Aug 2024 13:37:

Thanks! I have a very-genuine interest in getting clean

Hi! You are definitely in the right place, my friend! Stick around, read the forums, get to know the oilam, ask questions, and your very-genuine desire to kick these habits once and for all will take you far, BeH! 

healingsquirrel71 wrote on 21 Aug 2024 05:08:

There is a space here for every Jew. Certainly ones that are on this holy journey.