I’m sitting next to my eishes chayil on a plane writing this note about hitting 90 days, that followed a fall, that came after 180+ days (that my father bought for two zuzim). Obviously I don’t know how I might have felt if it was a straight 270, but I can say I am so grateful for that fall and what it taught me.

You are never too late. That first streak after joining GYE or getting a mentor is by no means your “last chance.” This whole space exists to allow me and you to genuinely remake ourselves in this area and to help us get to the place where we believe we actually are not stuck — if I find myself having thoughts that contradict that (“Even with all that support you fell?!” “It wasn’t real change” “Now the real you has shown itself”), I know those thoughts are rooted in the very same YH I came here to overcome. And slowly but surely, one day at a time, with endless siyata deshemaya, I am. We are.

These have been the best 90 days yet. The cleanest and the most filled with authentic shteiging. AND DONT THINK THERE HAVENT BEEN CHALLENGES LOL. I wish my eishes chayil getting her period on day 6 was the worst of them, but it doesn’t even make the list!

אנא ה׳ הושיע נא

וזכּני

א.ע.