For some reason my addiction to porn has developed into an addiction into incest porn, namely mother son porn. It excites me but I really feel I am betraying Hashem and myself. I am weak, looking for “incest” that isn’t specifically incest, but I always go back to the most forbidden and perverse. It’s a shame that porn doesn’t have a recovery site, like reverse porn

Hey welcome!

Thank you for sharing.

The nature of this beast is it pulls us in, deeper and deeper, to the more forbidden and more thrilling. Doesn't mean you are a weirdo or there's anything wrong with you. I think you'll find as you get clean from porn you'll lose this attraction to incest.

Why don't you share a little more about your struggle? What have you tried to get clean? How's your filter situation?

Hello!
I'm sure enough people can relate to what you are sharing. As Shem said, the things we look for can get . . . more.
It's possible that there is some psychological reason behind this particular thing attaching to you, also could be not. 

Shame is a normal feeling in this as well. Porn and masturbation play the short game with quick bursts of what (we think) we want. Our relationship with Hashem is long-term and can be harder to feel, so we get torn between our deep wants and our surface desires.

Hatzlacha

Welcome brother!

I think you have found the 'reverse porn' site. It is right here. GYE!

Share with the others here and connect. Read about others that are also struggling and have come out of it
You will fly!

the methods of recovering from porn addiction are pretty much the same no matter what specifc genre was interesting to you. 

For those of us who could not stop, the nature of our interests often got darker with time.  I would not focus on that.  I would focus on how i am going to recover and stop these counterproductive habits.  If the nature of your interests keeps bothering you, you can explore the specific pulls that you have with a sex addiction therapist and you may learn some interesting things about yourself...

I'm with vehkam on this. I'm a mere 91 days into my journey and can tell you I spent many many hours viewing interesting genre's..... 

When you kick the habit, you'll see the specific porn challenges fall away....

Keep on trucking!!!!

Muttel

Welcome
if you haven’t heard yet it is definitely worth reading The Battle of Our Generation 

Welcome to the GYE family!
Here you will find warmth, care, and concern.
Here you WILL find the tools needed to beat this devil!
As mentioned, the book The Battle of the Generation is one of them.
Friends is another good one...

(If you are daring or desperate, consider reaching out to HHM - Hashem Help Me - at michelgelner@gmail.com. He is the mentor-in-chief around here, and has helped hundreds break free, present company included. If you're not ready, take your time.)

Keep in touch, keep posting, and 
KOMT!

Hi velvylisawolf,



I just want to share with you that I also have a particular fascination with the same genre. I think it must have something to do with the close relationship I have always felt with my mother, as my father was quite a difficult person to have a relationship with(also a sex addict as I have unfortunately had the bad luck to discover on multiple occasions). The relationship with my mother is not sexual at all gd forbid, but I just find that I get a big sense of being looked after and cared for when I watch mom-son scenes, in addition to the usual high I get from porn in general.



I’m curious if you have found a similar experience with yourself and I’m not just crazy

Thanks for bringing this up. My therapist shared with me a bit of crazy, sick thoughts people may sometimes have. He taught me that there is no need to dwell on it. Like Vehkam said.

I'm also close to my mom somewhat. For your own mental stability, think about other things. Kosher thoughts. And move on.

One more important point. STOP WATCHING porn. Regardless of type. Get a filter. Block any loopholes. People here are happy to help in this area.

Hi Velvy, how's it goin'? Just to chime in to the rest, don't put any thought into the 'type' of thing that holds you, just move away from all forms of porn. For help with that, reach out to Muttel, who has posted above.
Keep trucking!!!