Welcome, Guest

My ENTIRE story
(0 viewing) 
Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!

TOPIC: My ENTIRE story 11011 Views

Re: My ENTIRE story 24 Jun 2024 08:28 #415717

  • Muttel
  • Current streak: 223 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 500
  • Karma: 23
yiftach wrote on 24 Jun 2024 06:35:
Why is it that your break of watching sports ended when you began watching porn again?! Maybe has somewhat to do with our conversation, albeit on a lesser degree?!

If yeah, then strengthening your commitment to kedusha will automatically cause your need to watch sports to evaporate. I never followed sports too intensely, but began following more when I was watching porn. As I let go of porn, the rest fell into place.

Let it happen by itself, why push urself to a corner?!

- Yiftach'l

This response really got me thinking. I do believe that sports provides - for me - some release somewhat similar to what porn provides, albeit on a much lesser scale in a way that’s obviously not assur (maybe I’m being medameh too much - domeh ledomeh). That being said, Yiftach, asssuming I understood you properly, your point is brilliant. It’s not just that I should wait until my footing is more firmly entrenched in Kedusha to make a move to drop sports. Rather, given that they seem to be sourced from the same cause, as soon as my level of kedusha increases sufficiently, it will slip away on its own

I love this point, and will carry on following the Yankees this season - and look forward to gaining from everyone’s support to continue monstah trucking up the kedusha mountain - until the day this slips away of its own accord!!

As an aside, I read HHM’s thread in the BB forum last night, and gained tremendous chizuk. I saw how when he hit 50 days or so, he felt like he’d made great strides and developed hasagos to be clean for life. When I texted him last night that I was clean and looked forward to getting 90 days clean, he responded by saying “ looking forward to a lifetime”. 
so just a shout out to Reb HHM for being the amazing support he is, and to all of you here at GYE that have enabled me to get this far…

My wishes that we should all shteig together in kedusha and other inyanim too, and collectively be zoche to reach zeniths of aliya until we heard the grandest of blasts, amen!

Muttel
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043

Re: My ENTIRE story 24 Jun 2024 10:33 #415718

  • yiftach
  • Current streak: 309 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 341
  • Karma: 31
Muttel wrote on 24 Jun 2024 08:28:
This response really got me thinking. I do believe that sports provides - for me - some release somewhat similar to what porn provides, albeit on a much lesser scale in a way that’s obviously not assur

Exactly my point! What was with this release until now?! I guess when you're in driving mode you're not in reverse.

P.S. Not that following sports is necessarily reverse, it's just something that you don't want/need for your aliya (at least that's what I understood from your original post).

Continued aliya!

- Yiftach'l
Looking forward to get to know you better! 

Email me @ yiftach1609@gmail.com or call/text 347-201-4989 (Google voice)

My story is unfolding here
"יפתח ה' לך את אוצרו הטוב"

Re: My ENTIRE story 24 Jun 2024 11:44 #415721

  • SHER
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 3
  • Karma: 0
I see the same thing with me

Re: My ENTIRE story 24 Jun 2024 13:12 #415728

  • Muttel
  • Current streak: 223 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 500
  • Karma: 23
SHER wrote on 24 Jun 2024 11:44:
I see the same thing with me

I see you're new here, welcome! This is the best place to get support in this battle that bonds us and to learn the tools that save us! Stick around, learn the ropes, and see the tremendous resources available here that can Be"H send you soaring!

Muttel
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043

Re: My ENTIRE story 24 Jun 2024 13:45 #415732

  • SHER
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 3
  • Karma: 0
thanks r' muttel!

Re: My ENTIRE story 25 Jun 2024 08:28 #415781

  • Muttel
  • Current streak: 223 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 500
  • Karma: 23
Just wanted to share something that happened to me with  the Olam, and would love to hear feedback.

Last night, I had a massively sinking feeling; I had fallen!! I thought to myself: how am I going to face everyone here? How can I let everyone down? I must be honest and blast it out to everyone, move on and get started with day one! 

Then I realized…. It was a dream (NOT a wet one bh and not even where the falling was part of it, just the knowledge that I fell)! So, I’m just wondering if anyone has experience with this notion, given I’m around the 50 day mark (48), wondering if this is something others have experienced. Or maybe it’s just another “nightmare” like any other?

Just wondering…..
Muttel
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043
Last Edit: 25 Jun 2024 12:44 by Muttel.

Re: My ENTIRE story 25 Jun 2024 09:06 #415784

  • yiftach
  • Current streak: 309 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 341
  • Karma: 31
Muttel wrote on 25 Jun 2024 08:28:
Just wanted to share something that happened to me with  the Olam, and would love to hear feedback.

Last night, I had a massively sinking feeling; I had fallen!! I thought to myself: how am I going to face everyone here? How can I let everyone down? I must be honest and blast it out to everyone, move on and get started with day one! 

Then I realized…. It was a dream! So, I’m just wondering if anyone has experience with this notion, given I’m around the 50 day mark (48), wondering if this is something others have experienced. Or maybe it’s just another “nightmare” like any other?

Just wondering…..
Muttel

Been there. 

One of the YHs greatest tactics. It's on us to prove him that it doesn't work. 

Hatzlacha
Looking forward to get to know you better! 

Email me @ yiftach1609@gmail.com or call/text 347-201-4989 (Google voice)

My story is unfolding here
"יפתח ה' לך את אוצרו הטוב"

Re: My ENTIRE story 25 Jun 2024 11:29 #415785

  • cande
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 706
yeah, so looks like the יצר הרע is done with the sports thingy,
and now dreaming up somethin' else to drive you crazy about.
will be בקשר,
stay safe, love you.
Last Edit: 25 Jun 2024 11:43 by cande.

Re: My ENTIRE story 25 Jun 2024 12:08 #415787

  • redfaced
  • Current streak: 581 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1128
  • Karma: 55
Muttel wrote on 25 Jun 2024 08:28:
Just wanted to share something that happened to me with  the Olam, and would love to hear feedback.

Last night, I had a massively sinking feeling; I had fallen!! I thought to myself: how am I going to face everyone here? How can I let everyone down? I must be honest and blast it out to everyone, move on and get started with day one! 

Then I realized…. It was a dream! So, I’m just wondering if anyone has experience with this notion, given I’m around the 50 day mark (48), wondering if this is something others have experienced. Or maybe it’s just another “nightmare” like any other?

Just wondering…..
Muttel

YH is starting to get nervous, that he's losing you for good. He own your subconscious still - and desperately wants to lower your morale to get you to fall. I like the fact that even in the dream you knew there was accountability & honesty.
Sucks for him, cuz you ain't going nowhere but up
May you slide down the banister of happiness and get many splinters of success up your career

Feel free to send me an owl, a howler, or even a Crumple-Horned Snorkack to Iamredfaced@gmail.com


The Red Face
Last Edit: 25 Jun 2024 12:09 by redfaced.

Re: My ENTIRE story 25 Jun 2024 13:04 #415789

  • richtig
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 561
  • Karma: 30

You may also think of this as a natural response to making great strides in changing something which has been a part of you all these years, and doing it with great ado, too. Simple response. Maybe yetzer hara, maybe a part of yourself reacting; actions change faster than our dark insides (and this stuff with it's attendant fears, shame and loneliness lodged themselves pretty deeply in).

"It is not our abilities that show who we truly are, it is our choices.” ---- Albus Dumbeldore (as per Chris Columbus)

Re: My ENTIRE story 25 Jun 2024 14:55 #415796

  • jewizard21
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 143
  • Karma: 6
I don't usually remember my dreams but in the process of becoming clean I sometimes experience one's like you described. BH the more recent ones are of me stopping in moments of clarity. It's all part of the process.

I think its part of the subconscious that is now revealing itself and trying to influence us to go back to our old ways. Try not to focus on the dream bc in the end it's just a dream.
"The best filter is the one you don't test"-Dov
Dov talks audio library:
guardyoureyes.com/tools/kosher-isle/shiurim/category/dov-s-recovery-talks

My Introduction:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412126-Me

Re: My ENTIRE story 25 Jun 2024 15:05 #415799

  • amevakesh
  • Current streak: 508 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 255
  • Karma: 24
Relax! I remember in the beginning of my journey, I had a similar dream that involved my accountability to HHM. I was going to fall, but then I thought about reporting back to him, so I refrained. All in the dream. Those dreams dissipate over time, and will become a thing of the past. KOMT!!!!
Feel free to email me at amevakesh23@gmail.com

Re: My ENTIRE story 25 Jun 2024 19:09 #415821

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 2918 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 4058
Dreams are expected as a "revolt" from the subconscious. Ignore them completely. You're a hero.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: My ENTIRE story 26 Jun 2024 08:33 #415861

  • Muttel
  • Current streak: 223 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 500
  • Karma: 23
Dear GYE friends,

Today is a special day for me, for 2 reasons she’heim achas.

Today is my personal erev Shavuos, my personal kabbalas haTorah after 49 days of reaching so many rungs of madreigaos in taharah… I’ll be hearing my personal “Anochi” after having bh, through the grace of HKBH reached this point with the help of all of you!

This wonderful feeling is augmented by having read about PY and Eerie’s clarion call to action to take what’s been given to us and passing it along to others. The second reason why today is special is because I’m happy to report: I’ve got a second talmid in the bag!!!!

What makes me so joyous about it is that he didn’t open to me like my first. I initiated with this one, chosemyahem’s letter to his Rebbi in my mind’s eye when I sat him down and opened the door of communication wide open….. he came back the next day (yesterday) asking for tips and help in controlling his urges and I began giving him HHM’s shmooz, woke up this morning to find a one word text from him - “clean”. What joy and happiness! That one word engenders such feelings of strength, accomplishment, challenge, and most of all, purity…..

It’ll be a long journey for him, but we’re looking to change the world, one bachur at a time……..

Signing off full of joyous emotion,
Muttel
We're in this struggle together; feel free to reach out! 
Muttel15@gmail.com

Feel free to call/text! (908) 251-9590 (google)

Check out my thread here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/413043-My-ENTIRE-story#413043

Re: My ENTIRE story 26 Jun 2024 12:16 #415862

  • BenHashemBH
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 763
  • Karma: 23

Mazel Tov Reb Muttel!

The gematria of מאטעל is 150. Your 50 days x3 to include your two talmidim 

Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.

A little about what I'm doing here: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others
Time to create page: 0.64 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes