Hi to all of u!!
Im a real himisha chassidis'h ....
since I was 15 I discovered M.. did it 7-10 times a week. Yes before rosh hasonah I was clean till After yom kipper and then I fall again. Iwasn't able to stop!!

I got married b"h and then I was not doing it for almost a 3/4 year.

Till it all start again till now for over 14 yrs rc"l. my biggest clean streach in this 14 yrs was 28 days I wasnt able to do more. so basically I was clean like 3-6 days and the m... came.. shame  etc... rc"l

from my wedding nebech for my wife. I gave out my crazy lust on her as an object by fantasizing her as the women that every man lust over  her (btw my wife is a real tznuah never mingled b"h. it was just me fantasizing the picture!!)   and just fantasizing her with others.... made me  M..  

So recently I had my 7+ child and I decided to make a STOP to this crazy habit and I now would like to celebrate
אודה ד' מאוד בפי בתוך רבים אהללנו Im now going in my 10th Holy day (even wife is not available since she had a baby) and Iy"h with hshem's help I will "become" a ערליכע Shtiper (Btw Shtiper have a full time torahdiga Job + he learns 3- 4 hrs a day. just !!מקצת שבחו)

welcome, we are here with you 
you can and iyh will see real growth!

נ.ב. 
i would take out the "even" from topic title

Welcome! Try strengthening yourself with these great free resources:1) The Battle of the Generation: a sensational free ebook that seriously gets you excited to fight and win this fight. It's a real game-changer.
2) The Fight: an incredible audio series from Rabbi Shafier.
Links are below in my signature.
Wishing you much success!

Welcome R' Shtiper, and kol hakavod for making the move to GYE. You absolutely can change and be'h we'll be here to watch you do it. It's a gevaldigeh process and the feeling of success is so geshmak that it's better then the aveira. Reach out to BennyH for some chizuk, and read his thread, I think you'll be able to relate. See you on the other side of 90 days!

shtiper wrote on 18 Jan 2024 03:35:

Welcome Reb shtiper!
You seem to be a very special person with a strong will to do the right thing. 
Do you really want to STOP? Maybe it's time to do something that you did not try before...
That is ... Connect with someone in real life! 
You have no idea how many people were helped to be able to finally STOP, when they came out of their hiding and started living with REAL accountability. 
In the “Tzetyl Kattan” of the Noam Elimelech it states: 
Find yourself a Rabbi or a good friend that you can share all of your evil thoughts and imaginations that go against the Torah. Don’t omit anything because of shame. This breaks the power of the Evil Inclination from influencing you. In addition you will receive good advice from your friend. This is highly worth it.

You can reach out to me  ahavayirah@gmail.com
Or to the special mentor michelgelner@gmail.com 

Thanks for every1 for showing support

I'm b"h still in the program. felling really good  about my  "שבת בא .." יציאת מצרים i will get with hshem's help @ my 13th holy day out of נ' שערי טומאה !! going out my own מצרים iy"h.
AS the hiliger עטרת צבי from zidichov said once that שבת בא it comes down a אור that even פסח you can not get it!!

@ Captain Thanks for ur support. i downloaded the 2 files will read it iy'h after Shabbos..

@ davidt thanks for the advise!  I would Wish to have a  rebbe that knows how to deal "with addicts" and help me bchla"l in avoidas hshem!! but where can I find someone who knows how to help an an addict?

How about right here on GYE?
Follow this email: michelgelner@gmail.com
Keep trucking!